small voice inside of me was telling me this was only the beginning. It was a voice that helped to centre me between two extremes, one being a victim and the other a merciless destroyer.
Looking back now, and after a very long time trying to work out what or who that voice was, I rationalise that voice to be the Holy Trinity. It humbled, comforted, warned and encouraged me, all at the same time. It led me to see myself as neither a destroyer nor a punching bag, but rather as a centred individual who was balanced, capable, useful, wanted and respected.
It was my faith that stopped me from going over the edge at either end of the scale, and I know the same has happened to people close to me. They weren’t students of martial arts schools, but people who had experienced extreme moments in their lives that had caused them to run towards a way of living that wasn’t healthy. I know guys who are dripping with muscles and tattoos, who hang out with the toughest types, and I know guys who are the quietest lambs you’ll ever come across, people who could easily be persuaded to your viewpoint. They are all Catholics, and most are Maronite Catholics. What they have in common is a feeling of being lost and an inability to deal with life’s problems.
They would call themselves devout and maybe they are. But what they have all told me is that they don’t know how to change their situation, or to be decisive in improving the lives of their families. Work doesn’t do it. Nor does sport. Having a respectful and loving girlfriend, fiancée or wife can definitely help, but not always. Something more is needed to supplement the normal, animal instinct of every young male. Something else is needed to satisfy his hard-wired coding. Something pragmatic, useful, tangible and powerful. Something fulfilling in a way that helps a young man be comfortable, and accepting, of who and what he is.
That’s where I am different, as anyone who has been through what I’ve been through would know. These guys have become people who know themselves. They have become decisive men, seeing their decisions through to the end not because they are out of control, but are choosing to see them to the end. They’re men on a path with an unwavering determination to complete their duty. Even if that duty is as small as mowing the lawn. They are now soldiers in their own right, going through, under, over and around any obstacles blocking their path. They’re people who get things done. They get them done because at that moment, there is no one else who can get them done. There is no one else who can get them done in a way that only they can, and there is no one else who can get things done in such a way that displays tenacity, determination and a drive for perfection.
My faith improves my training and teaching ability, which in turn improves my understanding and connection to my faith. I feel a connection with Christ when I do what I do. I feel God in me when I have to hit a punching bag. I feel the Holy Spirit right near me if I have to focus in a kata. I know Christ is with me when I need to pass on information to a new, impressionable young student. If Christ Himself is in me, then surely this is perfection personified, in me. (no, I’M NOT PERFECT, but Christ being in me is perfection in me. There’s a big difference). So if the perfection is in me, then everything I apply myself to doing, must have the influence of Christ, and therefore perfection. For this reason, I, and young men who assume the responsibility of being a man, must display perfection in all that they do. Everything they do.
I consider myself a responsible teacher. Despite all my skills in controlling and directing violence, the more I learn, the more I realise the level of care I need in exercising them. As the passage goes, To whom much is given, much is expected (Luke 12:48). My job isn’t to turn confident men into arrogant ones, nor is it to turn quietly-spoken, gentle individuals into loud-mouthed fools. I want them to see that God has placed a special seed in each of them, one that needs to be guarded, nourished and nurtured so it can produce fruit. The way to guard and nurture people is through martial discipline because it’s the martial mindset that carries over into other parts of life, even the small boring seemingly negligible parts of life which mean nothing at all in the grand scope of things I want men, especially, not to feel sorry for themselves, to feel guilty about being men, or to shy away from the world because of their Catholic beliefs.
In this world where Christians are the most persecuted group of people, and where the middle class white male is the apparent cause of the world’s evil, I want them to be silently courageous and rest in Christ. If your mind is trained, and the spirit is primed, the body is will take care of itself, and it will do its job every time. We go along for the ride, trusting Christ to guide us. It really is a case of mind over matter.
The principles I believe in, are those which have foundation in Christ himself. Acting in the face of and despite fear, demonstrating a responsibility to others and self, moving with intent and for the purpose of the betterment of others, and dedicating oneself to the improvement of quality of life physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually If I can teach each man the principles I believe in, he will be able to face anything, from an inconsolable infant child who is teething at 2:30am, to a large and menacing drug addict with a bloodied syringe who is lunging at him and his wife in a carpark or dealing with the manager at work who just makes life hard for no reason.
God has given us Catholics much to be joyful about. Our faith is not the easiest path. In fact, it can be a heavy burden. But nothing worthwhile comes easy, and to those who are prepared and ready for battle, the load feels lighter, the way becomes clearer, and the goal becomes more attainable. How do I know this? You only need to read the history of countless number of saints who’ve come before us. They demonstrated it can be done.
I’ve been judged by others, even by Maronite Catholics. I’ve been labeled as violent and apostate. So for them, and for anyone else who questions my motives, this needs to be said: My aim isn’t to start my own religion. I don’t want to or need to. I’m not here to drag you away from the Catholic Church or any other denomination. Nor do I discourage you from from taking a peaceful approach to life’s problems. This book is to encourage you to get closer to your faith. The message in this book is to remind you that your faith is more valuable than the entire universe’s wealth and riches. Hold on tight to it, and no matter what you do, seek Christ in all things. Living in this time of social decay, there’s no choice for you but to stand up and be a man. You’re supposed to be a beacon to others in your life that Christ augments you. Slouching over like you’re defeated is a sin of galactic proportions. You’re proving to the world that there’s something God CANNOT do. What a great insult to the God of the impossible who made everything from nothing.
I want you to take away some messages from this book. It has my opinion on things, and an explanation on how I grew in my own faith. About how martial training was one of the best things that could have happened to me, but also, how horrible it could have all been if I chose the wrong type of training. The way I punch or kick or put someone in a head lock is yet to save my family from danger, but what does save them is the way I think which has been derived from years of punching and being punched. It’s so important, that you as gentleman in this world, need to be accepting of the fact that you may need to lift your fists one day to protect people that are nearest and dearest to you. If you find yourself cornered, forfeiting your life is not an option. In other words, it’s your spiritual duty not to give up. You’re committing suicide if you do. Be proud of who you are and your achievements. No matter how bad life is, don’t give up. If you that if you look up instead of down, then whatever you set out to achieve, if it be for the glory of God, it will happen as you work with Christ.
You cannot live, truly live, until you begin to see yourself as worthy and courageous. You will find I will reference St Paul through this book, and I do that because he is one person who I find, that despite his past, he turned his life around to do something constructive and worth while. According to all the texts I’ve read about him, he never had a wife and kids, but his family became those who he spent his time with the most. It was those people he cared for so much which drove him to fight this spiritual war. If this murderer, this genocidal maniac, who is now a doctor of the church, fought his own way then so can you.
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