a list of what you like and what you don't like with what you see. You have the power to change everything that you dislike. If you take this action plan seriously, then the next time you do this particular skill, make sure you re-visit your notes and see what has changed. If you have moved things off of your dislike list and now you have more items on the like list, then celebrate your achievements. You have just mastered the art of setting goals and achieving them.
Congratulations, you may not have realized it, but setting goals is one of the fundamental core concepts for all leaders.
Later on, I will tell you the story of how Garth Brooks inspired my love for photography. He also inspired my love of music and achieving my personal goal of learning to play the guitar. I didn't like the person I saw when I looked in the mirror back then and needed an inspiration. I was out of shape and suffered from chronic back pain and had no real motivation to do anything. I purchased my first acoustic guitar almost immediately following my first Garth concert in 1997. I didn't even know how to hold the guitar properly. My EMT partner at the ambulance base was a professional musician and had the musical gift. He could sing, write, and play guitar like you couldn't believe. I can remember the day when I walked into the ambulance station carrying my guitar and showing it to him. He said, "What are you planning on doing with that thing?" I laughed and said, "You are going to teach me how to play it." We both had a few minutes of laughter and then he broke the bad news to me: "I can show you the basics, but you are going to suck for two years." That wasn't the news I wanted to hear, but it was true. I would spend the next two years plucking strings, hacking, and beating on this guitar. It was hard. In fact, it was painful at times. I started to pick up certain strumming patterns and became steadily more comfortable. We would write parody songs that were specific to EMS and play them for our fellow first responders. We had some great times playing and creating music during some very difficult shifts together. Somewhere around year three of my guitar lessons, we thought it would be a great idea to go to a recording studio and record a few of the EMS songs just for fun. I got busy on the phones trying to find a place that would accommodate us. After a week or so, I found a studio and we saved up our money and went to our first recording session. We had no hopes and dreams of hitting it big or doing anything other than just laying some tracks on a CD for our friends and family. The guy who owned the recording studio was a pretty famous musician here in Pittsburgh. In fact, he was part of a band that had written songs for Kenny Rogers, Hank Williams, Jr., and Alabama. He was the real deal!
We had a lot of fun and learned a ton during that first recording session. At one point, the producer said to us: "You guys are really good. Did you ever think about putting a band together and playing out?" I said, “No” and my partner said, “Yes,” that he had been in bands in Hawaii and didn't really have a desire to go down that path again. On the way home, he explained to me all the typical band horror stories and I could tell he didn't have any interest in pursuing this any further. Over the next year or so, he introduced me to some of his original songs that were just brilliant, and I kept telling him that it would be a crime if we didn’t get back to the studio and record them. We wrote a few songs together and a short time later, we were back in the studio recording our original music. Over the years, we would finally assemble a band called Shades. We did the whole club circuit locally and even opened for a few national acts at a music festival in Ohio. The goal that I had never dreamed of was not only recording one music CD, but two of them. They are still available on iTunes today!
I could write an entire book on the band years because we had so much fun, as well as many struggles, and I finally understood why my partner didn't want to go down that path again musically. Nevertheless, we set small goals for ourselves and accomplished all of them. Before I knew it, I liked the person I saw when I looked in the mirror.
Challenge 2 (Meditation)
Step away from the mirror and take some time to reflect on what you just saw. Most people have different ideas and styles of meditation. For me, I need to be in total darkness with no distractions. It is probably why I never open my curtains or open windows. I like darkness and silence. It helps me think better and answer myself when I have those internal conversations with myself throughout the day and evening. I also like to say, "Alexa, play spa music." If you have one, try it. You won't regret it if that's your kind of thing. I am telling you, nothing beats creating a few minutes for yourself and just being alone in silence. It is something that has always helped me stay on track or be more focused on the things I need to do or the deadlines I need to meet. In silence, I come face to face with me, and in my line of work, it's just me that I can truly rely on. Sure, I could pick up the phone and call up the chain of command for help or answers, but honestly, when I do that I usually find myself venting or complaining to someone else and when I hang up, all that I have accomplished is venting or complaining. I don't feel better and nine times out of ten, I didn't get my problem solved or my questions answered. So create those moments of silence for yourself. Get lost within you.
In the mornings before work, I love to just lie in bed and close my eyes and visualize my day. Your support network isn't your hundreds of friends on Facebook. It's you. Don't waste your time on social media crying the blues and looking for validation. I often tell people at work not to vent laterally because those people in your same job position cannot fix your issue. You have to vent up the chain of command when you have problems at work and you want them solved. If that doesn't work, then write your problems down on a piece of paper and then throw it out. Tell God and keep it to yourself. If you want more stress in your life, vent on Facebook.
Spend time with yourself in your mind, because it is only going to be you who is going to make the choices you need to make in life. You may be familiar with the saying, "I had a gut feeling." That’s right; listen to it. Our bodies are designed to heal and speak to us when we need them to. No one’s gut feeling is going to say, "Get on Facebook and air your problems to the world." If you're looking for fifty thumbs up and smiley face icons, then do that. If you are looking for real definitive action, solutions, and answers, it is going to come from what you discover within you when you make the time to meditate.
Challenge 3 (Grooming and Attire)
I have never been a real fashionable kind of guy. Pretty much my entire life, I have been in some kind of uniform. When I am off work, I love to dress down and when I am at work, it's some kind of uniform. The fundamental facts support that there are societal standards we sometimes have to live by, especially in the business world. In my field, if we have facial hair, that means that our gas mask isn't going to seal properly in the event that we are deployed into an area where that life-saving equipment cannot fail. No facial hair, or properly groomed facial hair, in the business world means they want you to look professional and not like Grizzly Adams, because the aesthetic might not be right for their brand. Either way, grooming is something we have to pay attention to and commit time to doing. If we are going to do it, let's do it right, and no, I am not saying go out and buy thousand-dollar Gucci suits or Coach purses, but I am saying there are small things that matter. This is where that attention to detail thing becomes so important for leaders.
I realize everyone reading this book may not wear a professional uniform. The same one, the same look, day after day, but the same grooming rules apply. If you are that person that has the food stain on every shirt, jacket, and hoodie that you wear, then you obviously realize that isn't a good look, right? It is definitely not the look of a leader. I am not above getting the occasional food stain on my shirt, but I am prepared for it if and when it does happen. This leads me to this point.
Make an emergency kit for what you're wearing – Tide pens, Tide wipes, or whatever we are calling them these days, but have something so you can quickly fix it. If you have the luxury of having a locker or closet in your office, keep a spare shirt handy because there will come a time when you need it. Can we jump to shoes really quick? If you wear shoes that are meant to have a shine to them, then shine them. I see too many people walking around that look like they shined their shoes with a Hershey bar. It looks horrible, it looks sloppy,
