schoolgirl and make sure that you don’t come back again,” she barks at him. He must have told his parents. Why haven’t I shared with mine and complained about this unfairness I wonder? C’est la vie - whatever will be will be, rings in my ears.
One rainy, windswept afternoon we set off with the Macaskills to Emanual Mission in Basutoland (now called Lesotho), to a Seventh Day Adventist Mission and Leper Colony. Cyril has bought the latest in movie projectors and has a film about the life of Christ. He wants to show to the Adventists that salvation is by Grace alone and so worshipping on the Lord’s day (which is Sunday) is best. I think he particularly wants Daddy, of all Adventists, to understand that he is wrong to worship on Saturday! I sit in the back of the car with Kendrew and want to talk to him about the scene with Granny, months before. Somehow the words won’t come. He is teasing me. He had put clothes pegs on my skirt, and I didn’t even know until I nearly tripped. He seems so light-hearted and full of fun, but I also know he is now dating my friend Sylvia, and for some strange reason that hurts. Besides which, it is as though Granny is in the car with us, frowning about our seemingly casual friendship.
The Life of Christ is graphically portrayed in the movie. His betrayal and crucifixion are so violent and heartrending, with his Mother Mary watching and weeping. I feel as though my heart is swelling in my chest. The tears are streaming down my cheeks. The sadness and guilt; for swearing and stealing and telling lies is welling up to overflowing. Then Uncle Cyril and Aunty Olive sing a duet; their voices blend in serene harmony. Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound. That saved a wretch like me. I am so moved by the singing that all the way home I am grateful for the darkness and pretend sleep to keep the spell unbroken. I remain deeply grateful to John Newton for penning these magnificent words and appreciate finding more about him after seeing the movie ‘Amazing Grace’ in which John Newton talks to William Wilberforce about his encounter with amazing grace.
Amazing Grace how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I’m found, Was blind, but now I see.
‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear? The hour I first believed!
The Lord has promised good to me, His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be. As long as life endures.
Through many dangers, toils, and snares, I have already come;
‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, And grace will lead me home.
When we’ve been there ten thousand years, Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise. Than when we’d first begun.
[Newton was born in 1725 in London to a Puritan mother who died two weeks before his seventh birthday, and a stern sea-captain father who took him to sea at age 11. After many voyages and a reckless youth of drinking, Newton was pressed into the British navy. After attempting to desert, he received eight dozen lashes and was reduced to the rank of common seaman.
While later serving on the Pegasus, a slave ship, Newton did not get along with the crew who left him in West Africa with Amos Clowe, a slave trader. Clowe gave Newton to his wife Princess Peye, an African royal who treated him vilely as she did her other slaves. On stage, Newton’s African adventures and enslavement are a bit flashier with the ship going down, a thrilling underwater rescue of Newton by his loyal retainer Thomas, and an implied love affair between Newton and the Princess.
The stage version has John’s father leading a rescue party to save his son from the calculating Princess, but in actuality, the enterprise was undertaken by a sea captain asked by Newton senior to look for the missing John.
During the voyage home, the ship was caught in a horrendous storm off the coast of Ireland and almost sank. Newton prayed to God, and the cargo miraculously shifted to fill a hole in the ship’s hull, and the vessel drifted to safety. Newton took this as a sign from the Almighty and marked it as his conversion to Christianity. He did not radically change his ways at once; his total reformation was more gradual.
“I cannot consider myself to have been a believer in the full sense of the word, until a considerable time afterwards,” he later wrote. He did begin reading the Bible at this point and began to view his captives with a more sympathetic view.
In the musical, John abjures slavery immediately after his shipboard epiphany and sails to Barbados to search for and buy the freedom of Thomas. After returning to England, Newton and his sweetheart Mary Catlett dramatically confront the Prince of Wales and urge him to abolish the cruel practice. In real life, Newton continued to sell his fellow human beings, making three voyages as the captain of two different slave vessels, The Duke of Argyle and the African. He suffered a stroke in 1754 and retired but continued to invest in the business. In 1764, he was ordained as an Anglican priest and wrote 280 hymns to accompany his services. He wrote the words for “Amazing Grace” in 1772. In 1835, William Walker put the words to the popular tune “New Britain”.
It was not until 1788, 34 years after leaving it that he renounced his former slaving profession by publishing a blazing pamphlet called “Thoughts Upon the Slave Trade.” The tract described the horrific conditions on slave ships, and Newton apologised for making a public statement so many years after participating in the trade: “It will always be a subject of humiliating reflection to me, that, I was once an active instrument in a business at which my heart now shudders.” The pamphlet was reprinted several times and sent to every member of Parliament. Under the leadership of MP William Wilberforce, the English civil government outlawed slavery in Great Britain in 1807 and Newton lived to see it, dying in December of that year. The passage of the Slave Trade Act is depicted in the 2006 film, also called Amazing Grace, starring Albert Finney as Newton and Ioan Gruffud as Wilberforce.]5
1959-1967 Awakening
One wearisome day at the beginning of 1959 while travelling back to Ficksburg Daddy’s voice breaks into my reverie,
“I wonder what the future holds with the new Prime Minister (Dr Hendrick Verwoerd) being in power. I wish the Nationalists were not so anti-British; it is going to be interesting to see what changes he will bring to the country. I hope it doesn’t affect our relationship with Basutoland (our landlocked British protectorate neighbour!) Lebona is just starting to make a profit (Daddy’s trading store in the Maluti mountains 10 miles away from Beginsel). If we must pay duties on all the goods it may be a disaster for us.”
Mommy responds, “I am nervous about becoming a republic, Verwoerd has been suggesting the possibility of a referendum…”
I must have fallen asleep because I remember no more of the conversation. I choose to go to Helderberg College, a two-day trip by train from Ficksburg to Somerset West in the Western Cape. Ian will be there in his first year of college while I will be in standard seven. I dream of being with Ian. I need my big brother in all the unfairness of being at home and having Kendrew banished.
Helderberg College - Admin building and boy’s dorm.
Helderbeg mountain in the background
The
