thirteen and she thought of the consequences. She would keep her suffering to herself, to save her family back in Greece the sadness and the disappointment. She was forced to become an adult at the tender age of thirteen.
When Efrossini day dreamed, she thought of her wonderful father who took her out on the town. Her mother would wash and fix her long hair in a special hairstyle, usually braided in a fancy new fashion. Efrossini would wear her very best clothes, freshly ironed and shoes that shined. With her little purse and gloves on she would be treated to the theatre, concerts, the World’s Fair in the Fall of the year and places she would never have gone that early in life if it was not for her dear father. Her father Achillea needed that type of entertainment. It was in his blood.
He was only six years old when he lost everything, but all the arts were instilled in him already. On the other hand, Efrossini’s mother Malama had lost her well to do captain father when she was very young in the terrible earthquake. She did not have any opportunity to be taken to theatres and such outings. What she had seen was a lot of suffering, famine and disasters while she was growing up.
One day Efrossini found out that her father Achillea was in the habit of taking out each one of his four daughters to special outings.
When they were old enough to appreciate such things Soula, Roula, Efrossini and Anna all were taking out by their loving father. Each one of the girls felt very special, like they were the only one, going out with their handsome, well dressed, and extremely SELF educated father.
Efrossini always felt better when she dreamed of her happy years living and growing up in beautiful Thessaloniki with her loving family. Her day dreams kept her from going insane, she said.
Here in New York, on Sunday nights they would watch Bonanza that came on at 9:00 p.m. All three would sit in the living room and enjoy watching the Cartwright western family.
This is the way Efrossini was hoping she was going to learn the speaking version of the English language, or so she thought. She loved little Joe. What teenager didn’t?
1961, Efrossini and brother Panos
CHAPTER 13
TERROR
One Sunday evening the aunt said she was going to bed early, she was tired. The uncle sat on the long sofa. Efrossini was sitting opposite the small black and white television set across the room where two living rooms chairs were, side by side. After the aunt left the room and went to bed, Efrossini noticed her uncle pulled his penis outside of his pants and started to stroke it. She was shocked and terrified. He signaled her to come and he said: come and sit next to me.
She jumped up and almost ran to her bedroom locking the door behind her. Shivering with fear with her heart pounding in her chest, scared her heart would explode, she climbed into her bed and pulled the covers over her head. She could not believe what she saw. Her mind went into circles. She thought she saw the devil in person. She thought she was going to die. It was nearly impossible for her to calm down.
From that night on, she slept with her door locked. Every night she cried herself to sleep, terrified of what might happen next, never letting her guard down. She walked around feeling her poor little heart trembling and crying in her chest too. She thought she just might have a nervous breakdown. How is it possible to live in such fear, she would ask herself. How was she expected to grow and do well in school and all her house chores when her heart was just aching?
She was also furious that she could not tell her aunt or someone, what had happened to her. She thought of the consequences. She always thought of the consequences. Her aunt would not believe her, she thought. She was much older mentally than her years.
If she wrote to her family her father may come to America and kill the terrible uncle. Her father would end up in prison. Her family would suffer, back in Greece. She was only thirteen years old and burdened with terror. Her safe, beautiful life in a loving home was so far behind her and she was without hope now. What could she do?
Struggling to keep it together she remembered what her mother taught her, the difficult Greek religious prayers.
She also told her no matter where she is, she can always turn to God for guidance. God would give her strength no matter what the situation. God would bring her calm. No, she was not alone, she had God with her. Her mother told her so.
CHAPTER 14
HER SHADOW
God became her shadow. She walked with God. He was her Protector. She apologized to God for anything she did wrong. She constantly thanked God, for being with her, and for anything she had. She had so many beautiful, loving, memories from living with her family in Greece. She tried to think about those memories keeping them alive in her heart and head, to sustain her very self. She felt her childhood was over.
The hungry girl stole bread at night from the middle of the loaf, so it would not be detected. She knew it was wrong to steal but what could she do? Dear God, she would ask: I am so hungry. She was always so hungry. She remembers walking to the local bakery and buying a loaf of bread for her aunt.
It was either whole wheat, rye with caraway seeds or the dark pumpernickel bread. There, she waited in line by taking a number. It was a very busy shop. She did not mind waiting in line. She wished she could work there just to fill her belly by inhaling the wonderful baked goods’ aromas.
She was always tempted to open the wrapper of the bread and taste it, on the way back to their house. She thought of the consequences though. So, she contained herself. She became self-disciplined.
She also stole the aunt’s toothpaste, because the uncle would forget to give her the two-dollar weekly allowance, he had promised her for working so hard, both at school and at their house.
She was scared to ask him when he forgot, remembering that Sunday night. It was always on her mind. The ugliest, scariest memory she had, it was that Sunday night! She tried to stay away from her uncle and refused to talk to him unless he asked her a question.
When Efrossini outgrew her custom made Greek clothes, the aunt would buy her clothes from a used clothing store. This type of a store was not in vogue over 50 years ago in a flourishing country like America, and in the middle and upper middle-class town of Jackson Heights. Once, her other aunt Fotini had donated a green wool coat with a standing collar to that same used clothing store, just the week before. She was so surprised to see it on Efrossini. Her aunt Fotini knew it was previously hers, because of a small tear inside the left sleeve, in the lining.
Efrossini prayed to God, so the aunt and uncle would go out, so she could sneak a shower, and then wipe the whole bathroom dry, so there was no evidence she had taken a much-needed shower, what her growing body needed. She was only allowed one shower per week! Her world had changed immensely, but not the way her parents thought.
In Greece she had three mothers, two were her older sisters. Here, she had none.
She missed her wonderful father who was not only loving, but a walking encyclopedia, also. There were not brothers, sisters, a loving home here. She had no one to hug her or kiss her, or tell her a nice and uplifting thing.
There was no music here or church going on Sunday ways to nurture her soul and now her uncle took away Bonanza that she watched on Sunday evenings.
She
