far?’ she asked, looking out into the night air.
‘Well, I’m impressed, I have to give you that.’
‘Hungry, too?’ Eve dug around in the large brown paper bag, steam rising from it. She lifted a cheeseburger to Laura, sitting on the blanket spread out under the glowing jars. ‘These are the best burgers I’ve ever tasted.’
Laura sat crossed legged beside her; for a moment, they ate in silence. She counted the jars lined up on the rooftop, twelve, of varying colours. Brighter than the lights of the buildings that surrounded them. Eve faced outwards, letting the satisfaction of the date wash over her.
‘Why did you do all of this for me?’ Laura asked.
Eve swallowed. ‘Because I wanted to. Because …’ She searched for the words, not entirely sure herself what had got into her. ‘I think you deserve to be treated well. Everyone does.’ She smiled, thinking how stupid she sounded. ‘Even if you’re as famous as you let on to be.’
Laura punched her on the arm. ‘I felt like such a dick when I said that to you.’
Eve chuckled. ‘I felt like a dick for you.’ She laughed once more and sighed out into the view of the city. She brought her knees up to her chest. Her eyes took in every detail, like they were painting through the air.
Laura grabbed the polaroid camera and shuffled closer to Eve, pulling her close. Eve smiled back at Laura, their foreheads almost touching. Laura clicked the button. Eve combed her hair back. A light breeze shifted across the building tops. Laura caught her eyes. She bore through them, shutting everything else out. This was what she wanted the first time she saw her from that store window: to be this close to this creature. Who had stopped her, made her look twice and carried her forwards without plausible reasoning. She wanted closeness, she wanted her breath on her skin, she wanted to know where she had got the scar on her temple, or why only the third knuckle on her left hand was bruised. Laura found herself immersed in a way she hadn’t been before. Her hand touched her cheek, her jaw, her shoulder. Laura moved her body forwards and melted into hers. Their lips found each other. Laura’s finger slipped on the camera, their first kiss captured in a glowing orb of light. When they drew apart, Eve found herself without words. She clasped her hand in her own and lay down.
Laura did the same. She stared out into the abyss of stars, counting the ones that flickered. ‘Tonight, the sky is ours.’
Laura’s hold on Eve grew a little tighter; as the bike rolled to a stop, she didn’t want to let go of the roar of the bike, the wind that whipped around her face and the warmth from Eve’s body.
‘Here we are.’ Laura slid off the bike and hugged her cold arms.
Eve couldn’t help but stare at the imposing building, the apartments that overlooked Central Park. ‘You … you live there?’
Laura nodded. She watched an old couple walk through the gold entrance doors. Eve dismounted the motorbike and stood in front of Laura. She caught a flyaway strand of Laura’s hair and tucked it behind her ear. The night’s cover masked her blushing cheeks. She made a move to walk her to the front entrance. Laura shook her head, placing an unexpected hand on her chest. Laura thought she would have to explain, that someone might see them together and post a picture that would be the end of a secret life she had always lived, never this recklessly. But she found herself making more than one exception to the rule in the same night. Eve seemed to understand; she showed no malice.
Eve walked slowly backwards from her. ‘Just to let you know, I’m not going to wait three days to call you.’
Laura smiled, counting her steps. ‘I never did like conventional.’
Eve collapsed onto her bed. She couldn’t rid the warmth from her fingertips. She ran a shaky hand over herself, in remembrance of all the glances she had stolen when Laura wasn’t looking. She spread open the pile of polaroids they had collected over the night. Eve wrote quotes on the back of them as if stamping memories in a line. She lifted an early one, taken of Laura without her realising. In the picture, her head was raised to the sky, a slight, almost secretive smile on her lips. In the background, a shapeless cloud floated by.
Looking at the rooftop pictures, Laura had captured them both mid-kiss. She remembered how vulnerable she felt when her lips touched her, like she was standing at the edge of the building, thinking of jumping. All the anxiety between her shoulders had melted away until she took another breath. Eve had motioned to the stars, not knowing what to say. But in that moment, the sky had bored her. She only saw Laura. The way she angled her chin back to look into the light of the night, her forehead creased in concentration. Eve worried that, if she moved, the moment would, too.
Eve’s phone lit up, showing three missed calls from Anna. She called her back.
‘Hey.’ Eve always spoke louder on loud speaker, thinking no one could hear her if she didn’t.
‘Hey loser, how did it go?’
‘Really well … great, actually.’
‘Great, that’s great, kid. So, do I at least get to know his name?’
‘Nope. I enjoy leaving you in the dark.’
Anna whined, but Eve wouldn’t give in. ‘Well, at least one of us is getting some action.’
‘Oh, come on. Don’t wallow in self-pity until you reach cat number six.’
‘You’re such an asshole,’ Anna chuckled.
‘Sorry, I’m just in a good mood.’
‘It’s good to hear. Well, I better let you get back to enjoying your good mood.’
Eve was suddenly overwhelmed with a deep love for Anna, for everything she had helped her through and everything she had been for her. ‘I love you, Anna …’
Caught off guard, after a moment Anna answered her, like she always had even when Eve’s words didn’t match her own. ‘I love you too, kid.’ She took another moment. ‘Let’s not get sentimental now. Night, kid.’ Anna’s voice broke.
Eve pressed her lips together when she heard the dial tone and threw her phone onto the bed. Tears welled from her eyes. When was the last time I had said that?she thought, remembering. Three weeks after the funeral. That’s how long it’s been.
Eve remembered sitting in the ward, her shaven scalp with an ugly scar reflected in the window. She stayed by the window for three hours after Anna told her what had happened. Eve watched clouds collect then disappear, over and over, until she felt numb with emotions she never knew she had. They coiled and whipped at her stomach, screaming out accusations and trying to call out the sham of the situation. Her mind, or what was left of it, tried to pick at the façade. When the noise from her mind grew worse, she reached for Anna’s hand. It trembled like a fallen bird in her own. She whispered her first words in three weeks. ‘I love you Anna, so much.’ Her voice had cracked, her lips dry. It was the voice of another person, reborn out of bandages and hospital gowns. It wasn’t hers and it never would be again. This other person heard Anna’s wracked sobs from outside in the ward hallway. After her hand had left hers, she couldn’t look her in the eye. Eve returned her attention to the window. She tried to watch the clouds, but they had all disappeared.
Eve held herself against the kitchen sink, trying to steady her shaking body. ‘Just breathe,’ she urged, saliva
