Lead Me Not. James B. Johnson
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His face hardened. “It appears you’ve made up your mind without any facts again. Well, so goddamn be it.”
“She’s turned you against me, Daddy.”
“Nope. You have turned yourself against us. Aloha,” he looked surreptitiously down the hall and dropped his voice, “speaks so very well of you. She’s said she can’t wait for you to come home this weekend, that maybe you and she can do things together. A movie. Shopping.”
It startled Denise. But she couldn’t help herself. “Because we’re so much closer in age?”
Rudd looked at her for a few moments. “You sound like your mother now. I’ll forgive you because I know you did not mean that.”
“Aloha is taking advantage of you—”
“Did you stop to think, maybe it’s the other way around?”
“You’re a man. You take what comes your way and that’s that.”
He breathed deeply. “This is difficult to say when Aloha is so much younger. But if I did not care a lot about her, more than you can imagine, I would not have allowed this to happen. I tell you, Denise, it is more than physical.”
“Real love?” Frost edged her words.
“I cannot not do it. I’ve fought it and fought it, Denise. I found I have no choice. Do you understand? I have no goddamn choice—”
“Do not take the Lord’s name in vain—”
“No goddamn choice. My gut and my heart and my soul are driving me. Not my goddamn brain. It’s as if it were a physiological imperative. I don’t know how old she is and I don’t want to know. I am attracted to her as I’ve never been to anyone in my entire life. She is a compulsion to me. So much so that I make no excuses nor will I deny her. It’s like an addict or an alcoholic—”
“Second Corinthians tells us to cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit.”
Rudd stuck his face toward hers. “See my haunted eyes?
“What are you going to do when Mrs. Leverenson or some other busy-body calls the authorities?”
“I don’t know.”
“What are you going to do when she gets pregnant?”
“Maybe it won’t happen.”
“You better let me teach you how to pray, Daddy, because that is one fertile female. She’s got ovum waiting and rubbing their little hands in anticipation of your sperm.”
“Don’t talk like that—”
The doorbell rang and Aloha called out, “I’ll get it.”
Rudd and Denise stood there glaring at each other.
“Daddy, I think you’ll have to choose. Me or her. I feel strongly—”
“Don’t make me choose between you.”
“Oh?”
“You might not like my answer.”
“Rudd?” Aloha appeared at the entrance to the hallway. “We got a problem.”
“You bet,” he said, voice angry.
“There’s a detective from the Sheriff’s Office here.”
“Oh, shit.” His eyes locked on Denise as if to accuse her of willing this to happen.
“She’s from the Criminal Investigations Bureau.”
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