chuckled. “I was wrong. You should go into academe, and become an administrator.”
“Really, Doctor Reimer, why stay here if it makes you so unhappy?”
The professor let out a long sigh. “Do you know how many job openings there are for an old gal like me? Industry thinks I’m too theoretical, and academe thinks I should be a department chairperson. I refuse to do that. Pushing paper and wiping faculty noses is not my way of life. If I abandon research I’m stuck here, unless I push paper. That’s the trick they pull if you make money for them. They give you good raises, promote you fast, and before you know it you’re too expensive to go anywhere else. Clever, these administrators.”
“I’m sorry,” said Karen.
“Ah, youth,” said Reimer dramatically. “The world is a giant oyster, and you’re going for the pearl. Trouble is, you get to the pearl and find out it’s a black one, covered with blood, and all the great ideas you had about helping humanity have been twisted and perverted by the ones who control the money, so you spend your time developing and testing chemicals that blow minds in new and interesting ways, like Morris here.” She pointed at the rat in his little cage. He sat quietly, now, staring at both of them, an occasional shudder running through his body as if he had hiccups. Reimer leaned over and snapped her fingers sharply in front of his face. No response, not even the blinking of an eye.
“Gone, gone, gone,” said Reimer tearfully. She fumbled in her purse for a tissue and blew her nose loudly. “Oh, God, I’m a mess. I should go home and sleep, but I’m afraid to.” Another blow, daintily this time.
Karen pulled herself up to her full five feet-ten. “What are you afraid of?” she asked indignantly. “Has somebody threatened you?”
“Me and my mouth again. Not your concern, Karen. Just do your experiments, write your thesis, and stay out of campus politics. Your time will come soon enough.” She chuckled, and seemed to suddenly calm down. “What I need is a cigarette, and a good night’s sleep, and maybe a roll in the hay to make it all worthwhile again.” She wiggled one eyebrow seductively, but Karen stared at her coolly, arms crossed in front, unmoved by the sudden bravado.
“You’re in trouble, and you won’t tell me about it because I’ll be in danger if you do. That’s what I think, Doctor Reimer.”
Reimer looked up at the statuesque girl with the sharp cheekbones and piercing auburn eyes and thought to herself, Oh, honey, I can see what he sees in you, and you are a darlin’, and right now I’d like to run my hands all over you, but I don’t dare because you are as straight as an arrow.
What she said was, “I have some personal things to work out, Karen, and the less you know about that the better off you’ll be, but if the time comes when I really need your help I’ll scream loud and long. Okay?”
Karen looked so serious, arms folded, back straight and tensed. Oh, you are gorgeous, thought Reimer.
“I don’t suppose I have any choice,” said Karen.
“No, you don’t.”
“If something happened, and I thought I could have helped, I—”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve been around the horn a lot of times, and I know what to do. Well, most of the time I do. Why get people involved if they’re not involved, know what I mean?”
“But I am involved. I work in this lab, and I work with you, and look what I just did to Morris. Is that what this is all about? Some sort of secret projects you’re working on? You told me to make these tests, and you didn’t seem surprised by what happened to the animal.”
“Partly true. There was a vial marked neuter. He was supposed to get that before the L5, and then the timed run. I assumed you—”
“Yes. I followed your instructions exactly, with the shots five minutes apart, and ten minutes before the run. There were no negative symptoms until he got near the end of it.”
“Shit,” mumbled Reimer softly. “The block is still breaking down too fast; I thought we’d used enough chelator this time, but stuff is still precipitating out.”
“Who’s we? Doctor Bauer?”
“Drop it, Karen. Please. I’ve already said too much to you.”
Reimer lit a cigarette, the flame of a match wavering in her trembling hand. She inhaled deeply, leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes. “We went through the synthesis together twice, and I have the procedure written down, but it’ll have to be trial and error because I don’t have any feeling yet for the quantities involved. Right now we’re looking for an order of magnitude effect anyway. I’ll make up a new sample tomorrow, and we’ll try it with the same L5 batch you gave to Morris. I’d like to have another run with the new neuter tomorrow afternoon. Will you run it?”
“Yes,” said Karen, watching the little rat staring vacantly out of his cage. “What should I do with Morris?”
“No good for further tests, so might as well sacrifice him. Don’t bother to do an autopsy; I know what’s wrong with him. Use the guillotine.” The death sentence was given absently, as Reimer’s mind surveyed a problem in chemistry.
“I’ll take care of it,” said Karen, coldly. In her work she had sacrificed several rats in the miniature guillotine, fastening their little bodies in the tight lattice of metal and slamming down the razor-sharp blade to snip off their heads. Autopsy was a routine part of data analysis, a necessary part of research, but with Morris there would be no autopsy, and no justification for his death other than removal of an animal whose mind had been blown away for the advancement of science. It wasn’t fair.
“Can you be here again at six? I’ll have you out of here by seven, but if you want to stay and run your thesis tests that’s fine too.”
“I’ll stay and do my other runs. I’m getting behind.”
“And I’m getting tired,” said Reimer, slouching in her chair. “Fortunately, or unfortunately, I am now sober enough to walk, and having gone through my evening in a hurry I’m going to go straight home to bed.” She arose somewhat unsteadily, and without looking in a mirror made a feeble attempt at repairing the tangled remains of her hairdo. She stubbed out the remains of a cigarette in a Petri dish, then lit another and pointed it dramatically at Karen. “Lead me to the door,” she commanded grandly.
Karen smiled, put an arm around Reimer’s shoulders and guided her on wobbly legs towards the door. Her advisor’s arm snaked around her waist, hand wandering aimlessly up across her breast, then down to the inside of her thigh, finally settling on a grip at her hip and squeezing gently, but firmly not once, but twice. At the door, Reimer’s voice was husky in her ear. “Beddy-bye, dear,” she said, and when Karen turned slightly to look at her she received a firm kiss that fell half on cheek, half on mouth. She stared incredulously as Reimer released her and staggered out the open door, cackling.
She went back to the bench where Morris sat motionless in his cage. He didn’t look at her when she picked him up, holding him in her hands for a moment to think. When she put him back on the bench he didn’t move, or watch her as she put on her heavy coat. She picked him up gently again and put him into the bottom of a coat pocket, leaving the flap open so he could breathe.
“Not this time,” she said out loud to the drugged
