know, you always talk big—but by God, remember—I’m smarter than you.
Martin
Ho, ho—without a doubt.
Scratch
Damn! Would you like a punch? You will see—
Loveless
Will you both shut up!
Scratch
But, sir, he always pretends to know everything, and thinks no one’s as smart as he is.
Martin
Oh—I defer to you.
Loveless
One more time—shut up. But, Scratch, you say my son has spent all his money after four months.
Scratch
Yes, sir. If it wasn’t true, I wouldn’t say it.
Loveless
It’s gone awfully fast. But, go get some sleep. I will talk to you about it later. I have some pressing business right now. Come on—follow me, Martin.
(Exit Loveless and Martin.)
Scratch
Hola! He thinks he’s the only one who knows anything. Damn, when he takes up that grave attitude, you’d think no one else in the world was as wise as he. He acts like he knows more than anybody.— But, let’s go to Loveless’s and get some money—of which my master has a great need. The expenditures he makes each day! But, I see him coming. It’s not a good idea to tell him I lost his letter—he might abuse me.
(Enter Gerald.)
Gerald
Tell me, what are you doing here?
Scratch
Nothing, sir.
Gerald
What—two days after I left you, you haven’t been to my father yet?
Scratch
No, sir, but I met him in the street, and that did our business.
Gerald
How is that?
Scratch
I gave him your letter, and told him your need for money. And that, briefly, is all that’s happened.
Gerald
And, what did he say to you?
Scratch
Nothing, except to go home and that he would speak to me later. At the moment, he has some business.
Gerald
Didn’t he interrogate you about my behavior?
Scratch
Very little, but I expect he soon will, and that is why I must wait on him.
Gerald
Be careful what you say, at least.
Scratch
Hey, leave it to me. We are not so stupid as we are badly dressed. He believes all my nonsense.
Gerald
Watch out for Martin at all times. As you know, he’s got a big mouth.
Scratch
I don’t care about him! God, because he knows how to read and write, he imagines that I am not as wise as he. I have a good idea to give him a fat lip.
Gerald
He’s with my father?
Scratch
Yes, and wants to argue already. But, we’ve struck back. Go—rely on me. You know that I am not a mere talker—I get things done that you want done. Where are you coming from?
Gerald
Olivia told me she has something she wants to tell me, and that I would find her about this house.— But, I see her coming.
(Enter Olivia and Lettice from the house.)
Olivia
Gerald, you come too soon. I told you to come later. You’re two hours early.
Gerald
You’re right, madam, but you know the impatience that routinely torments lovers, and how they believe their pains are eased when they can see the place where they will meet the person they love.
Olivia
Gerald, stop the flattery, because I cannot stay long with you. I am going to pay a visit, and my mother will come to get me. You must know something, though. Your father wants to marry me.
Gerald
My father?
Olivia
Yes, your father—and my father has promised me to him. But my mother, you know, rules the roost, and has strongly rebuffed goodman Loveless. Now, see the mess we are in: for when I told my mother the love I had for you, and got her to be favorable to my wishes, your father wouldn’t consent. Without your father’s agreement, we can hope for nothing from my mother. Goodbye—I am afraid she’s coming right behind me.
(Exit Olivia and Lettice. Lettice and Scratch make exaggerated bows to each other.)
Gerald
What should I do now, Scratch?
Scratch
What crazy logic made the old mercenary amorous at the age of seventy-four? Without a doubt, that’s why he sent us to Oxford. But, we’ve got to prevent him from marrying. And that’s done only with money—and then, we’ll cut him out of the game. Look at the old gallowsbird: he needs girls of eighteen to cheer him up! He isn’t completely disgusting—he digests it well—he just needs a refill.
Gerald
But, what to do, Scratch?
Scratch
Try to speak to her alone—and that will resolve all your affairs. She will give you—many possible ways.
Gerald
Come, I am going to write a letter that you will deliver to Lettice when they come home.
Scratch
But, I ought to go to your father’s house.
