“Shhht,” he whispered very softly. “It’s our secret. Because you’re so beautiful.”
He slipped his hand out of my panties when I started to jerk uncontrollably. Why did my legs feel so lame? Why couldn’t I speak? I only got up when I felt the life trickle back into my legs and my body had stopped shaking. “I’m tired, I’m going to bed.”
“But the movie isn’t finished yet!” Danie Jr complained.
“Leave her, I think she’s had too much sun. Sleep well, Anna.”
“You too, Mom.”
I walked to the toilet and waited a long time to pee. It just wouldn’t come. Then I went to bed. I felt so cold under the sheet and blankets that I sneaked out and fetched another blanket from the cupboard in the passage. It wasn’t enough. I lay there shivering. I was freezing.
Why did he do that? Why? I picked Snowy up from under my feet and stuffed him under the covers against my stomach so I could steal a bit of his warmth. He stretched himself out and began to purr. “I love you, Snow,” I whispered.
Later that night I woke up, suddenly aware of a strange wetness between my legs. Snowy had been gone for a long time and the spot where he’d been was cold and wet. I fetched some towels and wrapped them around me tightly, so I couldn’t feel the wetness. Early the next morning I packed the soggy towels back into the cupboard between the dry ones. I would tell Paulina about the towels later, and together we would think up a plan. I also put the extra blanket back in the cupboard.
I made up my bed myself. My mom was so proud of me. I couldn’t let her find out about the wetness in my bed. I wanted to tell her, but how? How would she react? I couldn’t, not after what had happened at school. I didn’t have the courage to talk to her about those sorts of things. There’d always been a gulf between us, and neither of us was prepared to build a bridge. My mother wouldn’t understand that it wasn’t my fault.
That Monday afternoon after school, I found the most beautiful doll on my bed. She was wearing exquisite clothes.
“A porcelain doll. Isn’t she beautiful?”
“She is! Thank you, Mom!
“She’s not from me, Anna. She’s from Uncle Danie. He spoils you terribly.”
The doll was beautiful, but if you looked carefully you could see the scorn in her eyes.
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