in the night. He was not going to be caught by untrained security guards. She knew that. She also knew Sherell was right. But she couldn’t allow Sefhemo back into her life.
She knew danger. Sefhemo was danger, he was dangerous to her heart, to her sanity. She’d constructed her life so as to make sure she kept clear of him. For nine years she’d been successful. She was not going to allow Sherell to invite him back in, especially now when she’d been made so vulnerable by this stalker. It wasn’t safe.
Kedi turned back to the room. She was calmer now. She needed to make them understand. “It’s not about me being stubborn. It’s about doing what’s right. He said he cared about me and loved me, but when I begged him not to arrest Poloko nothing mattered, not even me. He wanted to get all the glory for breaking a big car-jacking ring, it didn’t matter that it meant the end of us. He’s a selfish man. Untrustworthy and selfish.” Kedi sat down again, curling her legs under her. “I won’t have him here. I don’t want him on this case. Please, you must listen to me on this.”
Kenamile spoke carefully. She knew her sister’s volatile temper. “Poloko was a criminal, Kedi. He needed to go to jail. I loved him as much as you did, I still do. But now look? He’s out and his life is back on track, even better. Mama said he’s started up a restaurant in Rustenburg and it’s doing well.”
Kedi’s head whipped around towards her sister. “So what? Are you saying prison was good for him? He spent seven years of his life in there! Seven years lost, how can that be good?”
“You just can’t see this thing clearly,” Kenamile replied. “Poloko was on the wrong path. I know you cared about him, and you still do, and I know how loyal you are to those you care about, but Sefhemo actually helped Poloko. He did the right thing by going against your wishes.”
“I never really got it, anyway. You and Poloko weren’t even dating any more,” Sherell said.
“So what?” Kedi blurted out. “I still cared about him. He was my friend, my first love. We dated for five years. And I think that was part of it. Sefhemo tried to hide his jealousy behind doing the right thing; I’m sure his plan was to get Poloko out of the picture completely so he didn’t have to worry about me going back to him. I’ve felt so guilty about that. Maybe Poloko went to prison because I was dating a police officer.”
“Listen to yourself!” Sherell exclaimed. “That’s insane! You’re talking about Sefhemo. I’ve never in my life met anyone as committed to behaving ethically as that guy. He would never have put Poloko in jail just to have a better shot at getting you. Yes, Sefhemo loved you. And it nearly killed him when you forced him to make that decision. But that’s old news. It’s like almost ten years ago now.”
Kedi wished Sherell would stop, but she just carried on. “After all of this time, you don’t even care about Sefhemo anyway. How could you? You need to put your history where it belongs, in the past. It’s over. Both of you have moved on. The issue here is sorting out this guy, and Sefhemo is the only man for the job.”
Neither Dintwe nor Louise had known the whole Sefhemo story until now. It dated from before Kedi’s career had really taken off. Before she became the number one priority for Ebony Music. At that time, she was just Louise’s friend’s daughter who thought she might want to be a singer one day.
“I think Sherell is right,” Louise said. “If this is the best man for the job, we need him. He doesn’t have to be in contact with you. I’ll deal with him. I’ll keep him away from you.”
“You don’t know Sefhemo. He does whatever he wants,” Kedi said. She knew it was a terrible idea to bring him into this. Though their relationship had only lasted two months and those two months were nine years ago, there wasn’t a day that went by that she didn’t think about Sefhemo. He had altered her, had broken her, and she had never healed.
Kedi knew hearts weren’t supposed to work like that, but hers did. And she knew her wounded heart wouldn’t stand up to being near him again. She kept track of Sefhemo. She had to, to make sure she never accidentally bumped into him. She was wise enough to know she simply could not see him.
All these years she’d been waiting for the feelings she had for him to pass, or at least lessen, but it had never happened. When Sefhemo broke her heart, he’d broken it for good. There’d been no one since who was able to patch it back together. And now they wanted to bring him back into her life. How could she make them see that it would destroy her?
“Please think about it,” Dintwe pleaded. “Louise will keep him away from you. You need this man. He’ll sort this business out in two ticks and we’ll be done with it. You’ll be safe again.”
“You guys talk like I don’t want this all to be over. Look at me. I’m scared of everything; I’m turning into one of those weak, passive women. Louise has practically taken over the running of my life. I’m at the mercy of everyone. Do you think I like this? What’s more, none of you actually know Sefhemo,” Kedi said.
“Sure, I don’t know him,” Louise said. “But the more important thing is that he doesn’t know me. I promise I’ll keep him away from you, Kedi. You don’t even need to see him.”
All four of them worked on Kedi until she eventually gave in. But she knew it was a bad decision. She felt as if her life was about to slip off the tracks completely.
2
The stalker had forced Kedi to make all sorts of adjustments. Among them was that she was suddenly living with her mother again. Mama Baitse had arrived a few hours after the incident and never left, staying at her daughter’s side all the time.
Kedi loved her mother, but this was becoming too much. “I’m driving you. No discussion,” her mother said, picking up her handbag and Kedi’s car keys and heading outside. Kedi knew her mother was frightened, so she gave her some leeway.
“What difference does it make if I drive or you?” Kedi asked. “If the guy wants to get me, what’s the difference if I’m in the driver’s seat or the passenger’s?”
“I don’t know. I’d just feel better if I drove.”
Kedi gave in reluctantly. It was all she seemed to be doing lately. Giving in to things she didn’t want. But she couldn’t waste any more time fighting with her mother. She needed to get to the studio; her band was waiting. Because of the break-in, they’d postponed the recording sessions for a week. She didn’t want to keep them waiting any longer. They were working on the songs for her fifth album.
The excitement of getting back to work was taking her mind off what had happened, which was a good thing. She was tired of feeling violated. She was tired of being a victim. She wanted to get control of her life again. She was sure getting back in the studio would make her feel better.
Since Kedi’s father died, her mother had transformed from a housewife – whose main mission was to keep her bad-tempered primary school teacher husband happy and raise their five children – into a highly successful businesswoman. The children were grown. The husband was buried. Kedi’s mother took a year to mourn and then got on with her new life. She started her own hair salon empire in their hometown of Zeerust, opening two salons in the first year. She expanded to Rustenburg. Soon she had a couple of salons in Joburg. And now she was in the process of opening up a big salon across the border in Gaborone, where one of her sons lived.
In ten years, Baitse Taukobong had become the name in hair salons. She ran them like she’d run her house for all those years – keep it clean and keep everyone
