of blood. He then said I was to meet Thomas at a reservoir later in the day.
I found out that North Carolina had the most lenient marriage laws. There was no waiting period and no blood tests required. The Elder had suggested that, ahead of our nuptials, I should seek the advice of Sister Daniella, an older sister in the Church. I met her in town and together, deep in conversation, we walked to the reservoir on Capitol Hill.
Daniella told me that Thomas was an honourable and faithful brother who had been a committed member of the Church for almost a decade. She spoke highly of him. I felt very awkward as we reached out destination. Brother Evangelist was there. He told me Thomas was on the other side of the reservoir, expecting me. Shy and embarrassed, I walked there slowly as if in a lucid dream.
Brother Thomas was there, waiting. He stepped up to me and started talking very quickly, telling me he had been praying for a wife for years, that he’d had a prophetic dream on the day that he met me in New York. He dreamed he ‘caught a big fish that had two heads.’ (It seemed he thought I was the fish but I couldn’t say for sure.) He said he knew he wasn’t very comely to look upon. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that so I stayed silent.
He asked about the marriage laws in the different states and, when I told him, he told me that we would catch a bus to North Carolina that evening, and that it would take three days to get there. I had three days to decide if I wanted to marry this nervous American.
I had only just turned nineteen. I barely knew this man and was certainly not in love. The only time we had ever touched before, was on our journey to Seattle, when he had baptised me in the Eau Claire River. Thomas had a beard and a thick neck, but I did not know what colour his eyes were because he never looked at me. He did remind me quite a lot of my paternal grandfather, Tiger. He was nine years older than me – this felt like a huge age gap and yet, because he was so very different to me and so silent, I found him mysteriously intriguing.
Going back to the camp I felt full of secrets. The Elder had told Shoshanna and she and Daniella helped me pack. They talked in whispers, very excited because there hadn’t been a marriage in the Church for seven years. I glibly went along with it all.
The other sisters thought I was leaving to go back to South Africa so they lined the path to say their goodbyes. It was terribly poignant. I had grown to love these unique women and desperately wanted to stay with them. It was because of them, my new sisters, that I didn’t want to leave. But I was torn. I also didn’t want to get married – but if I didn’t, how could I stay?
The Elder was waiting at the exit of the forest. He gave Thomas and me food for the road and warned us that ‘playing with fornication was playing with death’. It was just after twilight and I could see the lights of the cars on the Interstate 5. Standing there in his long green coat with his silver-streaked beard, the Elder looked like a mythological Keeper of the Trees. After his admonishment, he wished us godspeed and silently disappeared into the shadows of the ever-darkening woods.
9
The night seemed to thicken and my pack grew heavier, the walk felt long and I had trouble keeping up with Thomas, who strode quickly ahead. Finally we reached the crowded station and boarded our bus just seconds before it departed. I got the last seat right at the back and poor Thomas had to sit on the steps all night long. We disembarked the next morning.
SPOKANE, WASHINGTON:
Washington was one of the states that did not require a blood test to get married, but there was a three-day waiting period. It would have taken us three days to get to North Carolina, anyway, so Thomas decided that we should rather stay in Spokane and get married there.
After retrieving our bags from the bus we made our way to a big park. The Spokane River ran through it and along the banks were many lush, wooded areas. Thomas scouted around for a discreet place for us to spend the night, then we went to court to apply to be married.
Still feeling overwhelmed and alone, I longed for a friend to talk to. The hours seemed to drag on forever. I was already missing the sisters. I spent the rest of the day in solitude on the river bank, reading my Bible, praying that God’s will be done and struggling to write this difficult letter to my mom.
17 August 1983
Dear Mom
I guess that this is going to be hard, very hard on you. Although this may sound awfully harsh, I am fully persuaded by the scriptures that I must forsake my flesh relations. He has given me deep peace, but I know that He came not with peace, but with the sword of variance.
Well, Yeshua willing, I am going to be married in three days’ time to a man who is 27 and still a virgin and who has been serving Yahveh for over nine years. Thomas is kind, gentle, has a good, trustworthy report and greatly fears Elohim, Mom. He is a holy and pure man. I pray you receive this startling news graciously. Mom, I really don’t want to study anything other than the scriptures. I don’t want some vain degree from a foolish university or college. I want to live separate from the world, not entangled in any of its ways, to be about my Father in heaven’s work. I pray you can understand this and see. I know you are going to be very sad, hurt, and maybe feel a bit rejected. I pray you can be comforted.
See Mom, all I want is Yeshua and to do His will only. All my material goods, please give to those who are in need, throw away any immodest clothing, sell what you can, all that belonged to the old, dead Lesley. Just get rid of it all. I don’t want any of it any more.
Oh, how I wish you could come over and dwell with His saints. It would be hard, I know, to leave all your possessions and friends, your insurance and money worries, your job and all that.
Oh Mom! How excited I am. My whole lifestyle is going to be changed for the rest of this life on earth! What a big, serious thing marriage is. Sjoe! I can hardly believe it! I will be Lesley Lawrence!
I really have a big burden for you. All the pain, suffering and worry that I’ve caused you – sorry, sorry, sorry. I hope you can have peace.
I love you, Les
We ate our supper in the park in the late afternoon as the sun was setting. Just before dark, Thomas took me down to the river bank, and then turned into some overgrown woods. A little into the grove was a hidden, flat space he had found and cleared for us to set up camp.
He hung up a thin piece of camouflage nylon between us. I spread out my ground cloth and camping foam and took out my small pillowcase and stuffed my down jacket into it for a pillow. After brushing my teeth I tried to settle for the night. I could hear crickets chirping and gentle river sounds. I lay there listening to these background noises for what felt like hours. I hardly ever have difficulty falling asleep, but on this night I really struggled. I was anxious and could not shake my feelings of loneliness.
The next morning Thomas left me in the park again and went searching for food. But the city of Spokane was a hard place to find anything to eat because most of the stores had crushers on their dumpsters which compacted the waste.
After returning empty handed, Thomas went scouting around the big park. This time he came back happy, having found an apple tree. I was very thankful for the fruit. I didn’t mind only eating apples and drinking water. During my time in America I had eaten more sweet things than I’d ever consumed in my life. I was getting a little chubby and didn’t like that.
In his wanderings Thomas had also stumbled across someone’s deserted camping site a little farther up the river, and there he had found treasure – a little Bible and a harmonica. He sat down next to me and played a mournful
