and Erin, too. Erin smirked knowingly over her son’s round blond head. Idiot. Thinking that wild, wonderful sex was finally being had by that snotty bitch in her mountain lair. No doubt reflecting smugly that getting properly nailed would magically render Tam a docile, satisfied pussycat who would be sweet and nice and obliging to everyone henceforth. Don’t hold your breath, babydoll, she told Erin silently.
Then again, who could blame them for thinking it, after what Davy and Nick witnessed at Shibumi? Everone in the room probably knew the details, the way that crowd gossiped among themselves.
It took a few minutes to identify the prickling heat in her face, it was so unfamiliar. Mother of God. She was blushing. She was shocked at herself. If she needed any further proof of her impending nervous breakdown, this was it. Maybe she was having a hot flash. Premature menopause would be easier to embrace than blushing.
Still. At thirty-one, menopause seemed a bit too much to hope. Flu maybe? A sudden fever? Except that she never got sick.
And since when did she give a shit what anyone thought of her?
She was so absorbed in her own thoughts, the explosion of hoots, howls, and applause made her jump. Nick grabbed his new wife and bent her over in a juicy, triumphant kiss. Tam nuzzled Rachel’s warm curls as the organ began to blare, bracing herself for the obligatory physical contact, the mandatory boring chitchat. Torture, every time.
Why did she go to these events, anyway? For Rachel’s sake, she supposed, but not entirely. She hated them, yes, but she was honest enough to acknowledge that a piece of her, for some reason, wished she was a person who did not hate them.
Part of her wished very badly that she didn’t have to hate everything so goddamn much.
That didn’t help her now, though. Not in the midst of being simultaneously bored, encroached upon, invaded, and annoyed by everyone. She muscled a big smile onto her face, clenched her teeth, and put Rachel on the floor as the deluge approached.
Erin was the first to bear down on her, flushed with triumphant delight. “Hey, Tam. You look great. Gorgeous dress, and Rachel is a doll in lipstick red. What a nice surprise to see you here, Mr. Janos!”
“A delight for me, too.” He bowed over Erin’s hand and gave Tam a sidelong wink before he kissed it, à la Count Dracula.
He would die for that wink, Tam silently vowed. She met Connor’s eyes, grimly amused to note that Connor was as unimpressed as she at Janos’s slick, Transylvanian gallantry. Erin seemed to be enjoying it, though, and baby Kev as well. Babies liked the guy. Go figure.
It made no sense, but she had no time to wonder about it. Everyone was crowding around to see the latest sideshow—Tam with a date, whoo-hoo—and she was trapped in a dance of embracing arms and social kisses and loud exclamations.
Rachel grabbed her thigh, protesting at being lost in a forest of legs, but before she could extricate herself, the child was swept up and almost out of her field of vision, skinny red legs waving wildly.
She spun around with a gasp. Janos was putting Rachel on his shoulders. She shrieked with delight, eyes wide, cheeks rosy.
“Put her down,” she spat at him. “Figlio di puttana.”
He blinked innocently. Rachel chortled, wrapping an arm around his forehead. “But why? She loves it.”
Tam reached up to grab her. Rachel began to wind up into her ambulance shriek. Tam sighed and let her arms drop.
“She’s not completely potty trained, you know,” she said. “She often loses it in moments of great excitement. But we’re living dangerously today. Taking big risks. No pull-up pants. Just big girl panties. Made out of thin cotton knit.”
Janos gazed back, apparently unintimidated. “Your point is?”
She shrugged. “I have fresh underwear and tights in my bag for Rachel if she pees or poops herself, but I have no spare Armani jacket for you when the inevitable happens,” she said. “Nor will I have the least sympathy for you. On the contrary. It will make my day.”
Janos’s white teeth flashed. “You are less likely to stab with a poisoned blade or tase me with a necklace while I have Rachel on my shoulders,” he said. “I am safer like this. I will risk it.”
“Be it on your head, then. Or your shoulders, and running down your back, as the case may be.” Tam noticed the fascinated audience clustered around them. “Oh, for Christ’s sake,” she snapped. “Don’t you folks all have people to kiss? Go on, fuss over the bride before she gets annoyed at me for drawing too much attention to myself! Go!”
The crowd dispersed, smirking at each other. Janos followed her as she hoisted the diaper bag over her shoulder and made her way to the ballroom where the reception was being held. He suffered Rachel’s sticky, clutching hands grabbing his ears, his nose, yanking his hair, all with calm good humor.
She spotted a table to the side that was flanked by a long bench, where bulging diaper bags already sat. She recognized them as Margot and Erin’s. High chairs were interspersed with the place settings.
She headed for it and found her name. Janos sat down on the other side of Rachel’s high chair, lifting her onto his lap and bouncing her. The kid giggled madly, delighted. So dangerous, to let oneself be charmed by so little, she thought darkly. “That’s Erin’s chair,” she informed him.
“There’s room for another person,” Janos said. “She was happy to see me with you. She’ll make space for me.”
“Her husband won’t be thrilled to have an uninvited stranger with no security clearance plant his arrogant ass right next to his wife and son,” Tam said.
“You’re my security clearance,” he said.
She passed a roll from the breadbasket to Rachel. “Do you want to live to see the dawn? You do understand the futility of following me around, don’t you, Janos? I will never do what you have asked. Never. Is that absolutely clear?”
“As crystal,” he said.
She watched sourly as Janos was a good sport about having the roll crumbled and smeared all over his Armani. God, how her jaw ached. Social events in general made her tense, and the day’s bizarre events and assorted shocking revelations had ratcheted the tension up higher, nudging her toward homicidal on her own scale. Tam had no talent for parties at the best of times. But Becca wouldn’t like an impromptu amputation with a steak knife or someone losing an eye to an escargot fork at her nuptial bash. Behave. Down, girl. Breathe.
She reached for the cabernet that sat breathing in the middle of the table and sloshed some into her glass. People were already drifting toward her table like gawkers toward a car wreck. She closed her eyes against the pulse of a stress headache.
It was going to get worse before it got better.
Chapter
12
Val fed data into the matrix as he smiled, shook hands, chatted politely. The husband of Erin glowered at him, just as Tam had foreseen, but did not oust him from the table, at least not yet. The other men all regarded him with the barely concealed suspicion he would expect of a group of seasoned security professionals. The women tried without success to hide their curiosity. Tam gazed
