his battered sneakers. He tossed his Brooks Brothers loafers onto the backseat, slipped his feet into his Nikes, put the car in gear, and peeled out to the road. Forty minutes later Jack carefully maneuvered his car into the narrow driveway in back of Harry’s dojo.
“Don’t you ever get anything right, Jack? You said twenty minutes. It’s been forty minutes. My ass is frozen. And…I suspect Cosmo Cricket is not the kind of man one keeps waiting. This is your fault.”
Jack snorted. “Who told you to stand outside? Certainly not me. If your ass is frozen, the blame is all yours. One can sit on a pointy stick and twirl when one issues mandates. The weather is not cooperating, and what the hell does he want to see all of us for, anyway? Just get in the damn car, Harry.”
“It was an invitation, Jack, not a mandate. He didn’t elaborate. Just said it was important.”
“How do you know Cricket invited Ted, Espinosa, and Bert?”
“You are stupid, you know that, Jack? They all called me because your phone was off since you were in court. You remind me on a daily basis that you don’t answer when you are in court. So they called me to get in touch with you. I hate talking to you when you go all snarly on me. So, just shut up and drive. Wake me when we get to Old Town.”
“Damn it, Harry, don’t you dare go to sleep on me now,” Jack said as he carefully inched over to the right lane to avoid getting stuck behind a sanitation truck. “What did the guys say about the invitation?”
“Nothing. Cricket didn’t tell them anything more than he told me. Just that he would appreciate it if we’d meet with him. Oh, yeah, he said not to mention the meeting to Lizzie, but he called her Elizabeth. I said okay. I wasn’t comfortable with saying okay, but I did it because he caught me off guard. The others said the same thing. Now I feel disloyal to Lizzie.”
Jack didn’t like Harry’s fretful tone. When Harry was fretful, things happened, things that he invariably got caught up in. “Cricket is Lizzie’s husband, Harry. Maybe he’s planning some kind of surprise for her. As guys, we have to stick together. Just look at you, Harry. Where would you be if I didn’t step in to help with your decorating?”
“Eat shit, Jack.”
“Stop being so damn testy, Harry. It’s not becoming to a man of your dubious status and physical capabilities. Pay attention to the GPS so I know where the hell I’m going. Did Cricket indicate what our destination is to be?”
“No. Just the address, and it’s about two miles down the road. You’re making good time, considering the weather.” Just then his cell rang. Harry mouthed the word “Ted” and listened. He grunted something and hung up. “Ted said Cricket made him promise not to tell Maggie about this little outing. He’s worried about making that promise.”
“What the hell is going on, Harry? We only met that guy…what…three times, and suddenly he’s enlisting our aid for something that concerns his wife. I’m just not getting it.”
“That’s because you’re stupid, Jack. Men call other men when there is a crisis in their relationship. Even I know that. Either Cricket wants us to be part of something he’s planning or he wants our advice, which I doubt. I feel duty bound to tell you I am going to tell him not to pay any attention to any advice you might offer.”
Jack ignored Harry, as he usually did. “I bet it has something to do with Lizzie’s new position at the White House. I wonder how he really likes that. You know, is he jealous? Are people calling him for favors? That kind of thing. You know what, Harry? Suddenly I am not feeling good about this meeting.”
“Yeah, me, too. Okay, hang a right at the next corner, go all the way to the end of the street, and make a left, then another left, and that should put us on Morning Glory Lane. The number on the building—maybe it’s a house—is seven-one-one. Talk about your old lucky gambling numbers,” Harry said.
“This looks like a pretty high-end neighborhood,” Jack said as he let his gaze go to the houses on large lots, separated from one another by spacious lawns. “What, two acres each? No immediate neighbors to gossip with over the fence. I wager these babies go for four or five million. I bet Ted will know.”
“That’s it!” Harry said, pointing to a string of cars parked in an immense driveway. “Guess we’re the last to get here. This is your fault, you schmuck. I hate being last. All the good stuff happens when you’re first. When you’re last, no one wants to rehash everything that went down in your absence.”
“Will you just shut the hell up, Harry? I hate it when you go off on a tangent. So what if we’re last? I’d rather get where I’m going safe and sound than be dead on arrival.”
Jack got out of the car and made his way up the long driveway. He looked to his left and saw that Cosmo Cricket was standing in the open doorway, waiting for them. Cosmo shouted against the wind, “Thanks for coming out in this weather, gentlemen.”
Jack knew Harry was muttering something obscene, even though he couldn’t hear it. Harry’s lips were moving, which was never a good thing. Actually, it was pretty much of a bad thing.
Hands were shaken; then they were inside a monstrous empty house that seemed to Jack like a gigantic cave. It was warm, which was, he supposed, a good thing. He eyed Cosmo Cricket as Lizzie’s husband lumbered his way to the back of the house. “A moving stairway would be nice,” Jack muttered as Cosmo’s massive body preceded him and Harry. Jack later swore that the house trembled.
Again, hands were extended as all the men shook, their expressions curious at this particular summons.
“How big is this house?” Espinosa asked.
“Sixty-five hundred square feet. I bought it back in September of last year and had it gutted. Elizabeth doesn’t know I bought it. It’s supposed to be a surprise,” said Cosmo.
Harry stiffened. “Women do not like this kind of surprise. Just ask old Jack here.”
“I’ve heard that. That’s why I asked all of you to come here. You’ve all been to Elizabeth’s house. I can barely move around in there. I thought…So, are you saying I shouldn’t have done this?”
Cosmo looked so worried that Bert took pity on him. He started to talk, and the others weighed in, offering advice.
“It’s a stunning house, and I think Lizzie is going to love it. But leave the decorating up to her,” Bert said.
“She might not like driving this far, and I can’t see Lizzie taking the Metro. That might be a problem. Of course, you could get her a chauffeur,” Espinosa said. “You know, as part of the surprise.”
Cosmo was looking more worried by the moment.
“There are surprises, and then there are surprises. Maggie likes to be part of all decision making. I don’t know, Cricket. This might be a hornet’s nest,” Ted said.
When Cosmo looked at him, Jack decided to take the high road. “Knowing Lizzie the way I do, I think she’s going to love this house. The fact that you bought it for her with the best intentions will go a long way. Lizzie is the kindest person in this whole wide world.” He waved his arm about. “We can attest to that. So, if for some reason she doesn’t like it, you sell it. It’s that simple. But I wouldn’t tell her to sell her little house. She loves that place, too. She makes us dinner, and we eat in the kitchen.
