a little while ago.
“I think you need to be a little more precise, Martine. I did hear something tonight at Judge Leland’s retirement party, but it was in the restroom. Lawyers talk, you know that. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the party room. I think I would have picked up on it. Every damn judge and lawyer in this town was there. Also, there were quite a few congressmen and senators present. Give it to me straight up. Martine, does anyone know you’re calling me? Aren’t there invisible eyes and ears on you?”
“I’m on that crazy phone you gave me. I carry it on me at all times. Yes, my dear, in my bra if I’m wearing clothes without pockets. I have it set on vibration mode. I’m also in bed. Alone. There are no eyes and ears here that I know of. There damn well better not be.”
Lizzie poured her coffee, added cream, then rummaged in the fridge for something to munch on. She reached for some chicken legs her day lady had left on a platter of Southern-fried chicken along with a side bowl of potato salad. She poked at the other bowls and saw a salad and some fruit. With the phone cradled between her ear and her shoulder, she carried everything to the round wooden table. “Talk to me,” she mumbled.
“It’s that old devil sex. It’s reared its ugly head in my administration. This is worse than the scandal that erupted before I took office. You remember the D.C. Madam, don’t you?” Not bothering to wait for a reply, President Connor raced on. “This time around, half my staff attended the damn party. I’m told there were Secret Service there. I lost count of the federal judges and congressmen who attended the damn camp weekend. Not just once, but twice,” Connor screeched. “They had such a good time, they did an encore after I was sworn in. And don’t tell me ‘boys will be boys.’ I don’t want to hear it. I think every politician in this damn town was involved in one way or another. Do you know how this makes me look?” Again she didn’t bother to wait for a reply. “I have an administration of perverts. Say something, Lizzie.”
Lizzie for some reason enjoyed hearing Martine venting. Welcome to Washington was what she wanted to say. Instead, Lizzie said, “I heard there were quite a few senators who…uh, went to camp, and I also heard several of your fancy-dancy ambassadors and a few of their friends were also in attendance.” Lizzie licked at her fingers and reached for a second chicken leg. “I hope you aren’t calling me to ask me to represent any of those perverts because the answer is no, Madam President. I have long believed that the johns should be the ones who are arrested and punished, not the working girls and madams. The men went to the summer, or winter, camp, whatever it was, of their own free will, and they were willing to pony up outrageous sums of money for the pleasure. No one twisted their arms. Then they walk off scot-free, and the women take the fall. What’s wrong with this picture? No, Madam President, I can’t help you.”
“Lizzie, you have to help me. Not directly, I realize that. I want you to get in touch with the Vigilantes and ask for their help. I can’t think of anything else. I guess you can see I’m desperate, or I wouldn’t be calling you.”
“Martine, no! They won’t help you! You’re already running a tab with the Vigilantes. You owe them a pardon that has not been forthcoming. I’m sure they’re on the same page I am when it comes to the johns. If you weren’t sitting in the office you won, you’d be on our page, too. You know that, Martine.”
“Lizzie, I could go down the tubes with what’s going on. I’ll be the laughingstock of the free world. The first female president, and I have an administration whose members can’t keep their pants zipped. This is going to be a circus. I have to try to do something.”
“Chop them all off at the knees right now. By them, I mean every man within spitting distance of what went on, those that attended that…uh, camp. Go back to all your short lists and work from there. Make everyone involved in the administration resign. Then move on. There’s no way you can contain this. You have to know that, Martine. We both know the media will be on this like fleas on a dog. You have to be aggressive. Whatever you do, don’t go giving speeches, or just slapping any of the ‘boys’ on the wrist, and don’t try to hide anything. That’s the best advice I can give you right at this precise moment.” Lizzie attacked the potato salad, eating right out of the bowl. She couldn’t believe this conversation. And she couldn’t believe she was eating cold fried chicken and potato salad at three o’clock in the morning. She refilled her coffee cup.
“So, what you’re saying is you won’t help me, is that how I’m to read your response, Lizzie?”
Lizzie sighed. She’d been friends with the president for more years than she cared to remember. As women, they’d been through a lot during that time. Together they had been in the box, out of the box, and over the top of the box, always coming out the victors. “What kind of help are you asking for, Martine? If you’re asking me to defend any of those Happy Campers, the answer is no. I’ll tell you something else, I’d represent the madam for free. I think the Vigilantes will be of the same mind. Having said that, I must be dense because I don’t know what it is you think either the Vigilantes or I can do.”
“I know, I know, Lizzie. I’m out of my mind. To be honest, I didn’t know who else to call. I guess I thought you would have a magic bullet of some kind. It just isn’t time for the pardon yet. I’ll keep my word, but I can’t do it yet. Damn it, I just took office. I’ve never, ever broken my word, Lizzie, and you damn well know it. Christ, I’ll probably be impeached within my first 180 days in office. Can you imagine what the guys on the other side of the aisle are going to do with this?”
Until then Martine Connor had sounded like an agitated old friend with a terrible problem, calling for help and advice. Suddenly, she was back to being the first female president of the United States.
“I’m sorry, Lizzie, for waking you and bombarding you with my problem. I understand where you are coming from. I’ll deal with it some way, somehow. Go back to sleep, Lizzie. Good night.”
Like she was really going to be able to go back to sleep. Lizzie wondered if she’d ever be able to sleep again. Right now all she wanted to do was call Cosmo. She looked at the clock. It was a little after midnight in Vegas, and Cosmo slept soundly. Morning would be time enough, as he was an early riser. Cosmo would talk her through her angst then—when he was bright and alert. Simply put, she didn’t want to be responsible for Cosmo losing any sleep.
Lizzie wrapped the platter and bowls of food and put them back into the refrigerator. She couldn’t believe she’d consumed the whole pot of coffee. She consoled herself with the fact that it was a small pot, with only four cups, and somehow the fourth cup always seemed to evaporate.
The kitchen clock over the doorway said it was 3:45. If she took a shower, dressed for the day, she could make a second pot of coffee and not feel guilty. She knew she would need the adrenaline rush coffee gave her when she called Big Pine Mountain. Lizzie looked around to make sure she was leaving her kitchen nice and tidy before she went back upstairs.
Maybe she should call Maggie Spritzer before she called Big Pine Mountain. Or better yet, maybe she should make two phone calls before she called Big Pine Mountain. Calling Jack Emery and Maggie Spritzer was the way to go, she thought. Both lived within a mile of her house, and maybe she could get a better fix on things if she agreed to meet them at one of their houses. She’d offer to bring the donuts and coffee. Now, that was a plan. She’d think it through while she showered. For some reason she did some of her best thinking while standing under a stream of hot water. A good long shower always left her with a clear head, and she usually came up with a solution before she got out to towel off.
She knew for a fact that Jack got up at five o’clock and was usually at Harry Wong’s dojo to work out by six. Maggie liked to be in the office by six o’clock, six thirty at the latest.
Lizzie’s
