her hair, their anticipation building, a sense that anything and everything was possible. And then stumbling into the house, already locked in each other’s arms, the bedroom door closing, shutting out April, shutting out everyone but them.
That woman with her tight, low-cut shirt wasn’t afraid. That woman knew what she wanted and took it. But April knew that would never be her. Never. She would always be on the outside looking in, watching people who actually had the courage to live life out loud.
It made her sick.
That was when Brandon turned his head and gave her a long look, the kind of look you usually give someone you hate. April was too befuddled to know what it meant exactly, but a shameful wave of heat rippled through her. Even from a distance he had the power to scorch her from the inside, to give her buzzy, tingly feelings she had no way of dealing with or even understanding.
April turned her back to him, grabbed her second beer and chugged.
“You know that guy?” Jacey asked her. “Like, for real?”
“He’s that client I told you about,” April said. “I mean, if you want to call him a client.”
Roxanne had that predatory look in her eyes that she sometimes got when there was a designer dress on sale at Maxine’s only someone else had managed to get their hands on it first.
“That’s your client?” Jacey whipped her gaze from Brandon to April. “What kind of client are we talking about here?”
April was well on her way to tipsy now, but she wasn’t numb, which was disappointing. Maybe numb showed up after three beers. She searched for their waitress but it seemed like a lot of effort. “I can’t talk about clients,” she said, pantomiming a zipped lip and then throwing away the key. “Hello? I’m a social worker.”
Jacey laughed. “No, what you are is a hoot. We really should have done this years ago, getting you...” She moved her hand side to side in front of her face and wiggled her fingers. Drunk.
“Please,” Roxanne scoffed. “On two beers? That’s pathetic.”
“I don’t think she’s pathetic,” came a man’s voice. Was that Ryan? April had to lean her head back to see, and when she did the room spun. “I think it’s cute,” he added.
It’s you, April thought with a warmth she’d never felt before. Ryan was such a nice man. He would never say mean things to a girl or call her boring. And he looked awesome dressed in jeans and a shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
“You have good hair,” she said. It seemed like the most important thing in the world to tell him right now. Then her brain kind of drifted away and she forgot what they were talking about.
“Thanks for coming to the rescue,” Jacey said. “Friends don’t let friends drive home with other friends who might be drinking.”
Ryan’s gaze fell on a box that said Intimate Massager on it. “Wow, you girls really go all out, don’t you?”
Everyone giggled, but April giggled so hard she started hiccupping.
“Oh, boy,” Ryan said, grinning, all cute with the hair and everything. “Maybe it’s time I got you ladies home.”
Since the police wagon was around back, everyone gathered their things and followed him outside. But April didn’t want to go. There were so many fun people she suddenly needed to talk to. Plus all those new string lights were super cool and—
“Here we go.” Ryan hoisted her in the back of the police van. Steel benches lined each wall. The van smelled like disinfectant.
“Omigod,” she said, “are you arresting us?”
“Yes,” he said. “Now get in.”
Jacey climbed inside with the others and then April climbed in and the van took off, leaving her stomach on the street somewhere.
Jacey slid down the bench beside her. “Are you mad at me for calling Ryan?”
“Totally!” April said. It was very bright in here. Tessa sat across from her and she liked Tessa’s shoes. “The whole town is against me. My friends, my family…pretty much everybody. You want me to date Ryan.”
“Well, sure, but I wasn’t trying to push him on you,” Jacey said. “He’s the only sober guy I know who has a van.”
A van that April might throw up in. No wonder it smelled like disinfectant. Everyone was talking all at once, which made her head swim.
“Jacey,” she said. “Do you think I’m boring?”
Jacey took out a mirrored compact, inspected herself in it, and fluffed her ponytail. “Boring how? Like my Aunt Adelaide boring or boring because you never go anywhere?”
“Omigod, I am boring.” That seemed so tragic somehow. It reminded her that everyone else was normal except her. Of course, her sisters didn’t think she was boring, but her sisters weren’t in town as much as they used to be. Now she had to accept the truth about herself without Maggie telling her, April, you’re being ridiculous.
“I wish I were somebody else,” April said, gazing morosely at Tessa, Susan and Patricia, who sat across from her, comparing manicures. “Where’s the adventure? Aren’t I supposed to do stupid things now while I’m young? I’ve never done anything stupid my whole life. Not really.”
“You mean like getting naked with that hot biker dude who looked at you like he might eat you? Bet that would qualify as an adventure.”
April was so shocked, she practically fell off the metal bench. “Are you insane? First of all, he hates me. Second of all, he’s a client. I can’t date clients. There are strict rules about that kind of thing. They’d fire me on the spot. I’d never be able to do social work again.”
Jacey twisted open a tube of lipstick and then slid it over her lips. She smacked them together before pooching them out again in the mirror. “Yeah, but it would be plenty stupid, which means you’ll be having a fun adventure. Problem solved.”
April couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Jacey knew better than to suggest such a thing, even if she were joking, which she clearly wasn’t.
“He’s a total jerk, you know,” April said hotly. “I don’t even like him. I like nice men.”
“Do you?” Jacey gave her an enigmatic smile and dropped the lipstick into her purse before Tessa recruited her for a debate about nail polish.
Despite the mild nausea lurching around her stomach, April couldn’t stop worrying about what Jacey had said. What kind of friend was Jacey anyway, shooting her mouth off like that? Dating a client was a violation of every ethical standard April had, even if she wanted to date Brandon, which she didn’t.
Years ago there’d been a caseworker who took up with the father of one of her own clients. The caseworker’s name was Cleo and she was still the subject of scandalized whispers, which was how April came to hear about her. Cleo had been humiliated. Fired. Run out of town.
Rumor had it the man Cleo sacrificed her reputation for recently left her. And not just her reputation. All
