completely in love with him. The danger of that was quite real.
Putting down his bread, he stared at the plate for a long time. “You may regret knowing such things, Faith. I told you that I am not proud of many things I have done.”
“I feel you must let me be the judge of that.” Her pulse pounded, but she refused to remain silent and risk hating him for his deeds sometime in the future. It was better to know now than regret later.
“MacGruder said much the same thing.” He chuckled and gazed up from the table. “Can you promise me that what I tell you will remain between us?”
A swarm of butterflies warred in her belly, but she had to know. “I will keep your confidence.”
Cloud cover had rolled in since they’d been eating, and a light snow made a tink tink on the sloped glass roof. It wasn’t the storm of the day before, but gave the hothouse a more private feel and deadened any noise from outside.
“This is not a pretty story.” He took a deep breath, nibbled a bit of meat to stall for time, and met her gaze. “As you have cleverly surmised, I worked for the interests of the Crown while traveling abroad. My journey took me to many places and even back here to England several times over the past five years.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and stared out the steamed windows at nothing. “I landed for a time in Vienna. It is a lively town and already possessed by Napoleon by then. I had been in service for a year and thought myself worldly. Unfortunately, I met a woman more worldly than I.”
When it appeared he would not go on, Faith asked, “What was her name?”
“Léonie.” He breathed it out more than said it. “She was perhaps two or three years older than I, and extremely beautiful. There was a wisdom about her that attracted me as no woman ever had. Of course, I knew I could never marry such a woman, without family or title, but when I told her this, she didn’t care.”
He laughed. “I thought myself to have found the perfect mistress. We were far from home, where my father could disapprove or my mother would ever hear gossip. Léonie didn’t care about marrying a man with a title, and I was infatuated, with the enthusiasm of youth.”
Faith wanted to be so sophisticated that she wasn’t bothered by Nick’s past exploits. She tried to eat some of the lovely meal before them, but her appetite was gone. The thought of him liking or perhaps loving this Léonie stirred jealousy, an emotion she’d never before experienced.
Nick reached across the table and took her hand. “Shall I stop, Faith? You asked for this story, but if you are not comfortable with the telling, I shall desist.”
Forcing a smile, she said, “I’m fine. Please, go on.”
With a final squeeze, he released her fingers. “Léonie and I were inseparable for many months. It was perfect. Until one day I saw her on the street with a man who looked suspiciously like a French spy I’d been sent to watch. When I confronted her, she became incensed and went into a rage in her native tongue. It was a year later, when I’d mastered the language, that I finally understood the vulgarity she’d spewed that day.
“In my ignorance and desire, I allowed that it was not the same man. We separated for a few days and when we came back together it was filled with forgiveness and passion.”
Stomach in a knot, Faith was sorry she’d asked, but she didn’t want him to stop. She had to know what happened and get a sense of this man.
Obliviously, Nick continued. “Blissful that our relationship had survived a disagreement, I fell into a deep sleep. An hour later, voices in the common room of our apartments woke me. A chair scraped and a man spoke in hushed tones. My first response was worry for Léonie, but then I heard her voice as well. She didn’t sound afraid. Her tone was low, conspiratorial.
“Caught up in my rage, I stupidly flung the bedroom door wide.” He shook his head and ran his fingers through his cropped dark-brown hair. “They were only shocked for a moment before one of two men ran at me. I must have been quite a sight, wearing only a nightshirt. I managed to evade the attack, causing him to stumble and crash to the floor. The second man ran out the door. I expected Léonie to do the same, but she stayed. Brandishing a short sword, she charged toward me.
“Gone was the beautiful woman who’d bedded me an hour before. She was transformed into a vicious killer. Her blond hair was wild and loose and her eyes filled with hate. She said, ‘Why couldn’t you just stay in bed? This would all be over in a few days and you could have walked away.’ I had no idea what she meant, but as her blade impaled my chest, it didn’t matter.”
Faith gasped.
Nick chuckled and rubbed his chest just above his left breast. “I wouldn’t have thought her so strong, but she ran me through. An inch lower and I’d have been dead in an instant. The man who’d stumbled when I moved, got up off the floor. The only weapon at my disposal was jutting from my body. I pulled it out and slashed him across the throat. Wide-eyed, he grabbed his gushing throat and collapsed to the floor.”
“Léonie wailed out a cry, and I turned toward the sound. She ran directly into her own sword, still in my bloody fist.” Head hanging, Nick cradled his face in his hands. “I called the surgeon, but there was nothing to be done for her. She cursed me until she died.”
For several seconds, Faith couldn’t utter a word. He blamed himself for Léonie’s death, but it had not been his fault at all. She had gotten what was coming to her. Fiercely protective, Faith wanted to tell him, but instead asked, “What of your wounds, Nick?”
His eyes burned with regret and self-loathing. “The surgeon mended me and nothing internal was damaged. It was a miracle.”
Despite his sarcasm, she agreed with the words. “It was that. Where did you go from Vienna? Surely you didn’t stay in the city after such an ordeal.”
“Clever girl.” He smiled warmly at her. He sipped the wine from a crystal glass. “No. I returned to England to recover right here at Parvus. Geb and I had been friends for six months. It was only meant to be a business arrangement, but there is something about him that makes me trust him above all others. My parents were alerted to my condition and came here for a few weeks. The food nearly killed me, but my wound healed.”
“And your heart?” She held her breath.
His long look pierced her soul. “As I said, nothing ever touched my heart. At least, not where Léonie was concerned.”
Unable to look away from his eyes the color of the morning sky before the sun was fully risen, she met his stare and prayed she could find her voice again. Clearing her throat, she said, “It must have been terrible for you to be betrayed in such a way.”
He shrugged. “An occupational hazard, I’m afraid.”
“But you have given up that life, have you not?”
A forlorn smile and he studied at his hands in his lap. “Tell me about these Wallflowers of yours.”
She wanted to weep at the sight of such sorrow. Instead she let the joy of her friendships tug her out of her gloom. “You said to tell you one thing I admire in each of them.” Faith loved the women she’d met at school. She believed there was the family you were born into and the one you gather for yourself. In the case of the Wallflowers of West Lane, they were
