that fantasy, he told himself. It wasn’t going to be that way. Not tonight, not ever.
“I’m ready,” she whispered.
His cock throbbed at the husky sound of her voice.
Thank God.
When he reached for her this time, he found what he’d been seeking. Her. Emma. His bride. His hand did not land on a breast, he realized with some disappointment, but her waist instead.
That would do.
He made a fist in the fabric of her shift. As he hiked the linen—only daring to raise it as far as her waist—his breath was shaky.
He stroked his hand downward, over her bared hip. He gave a helpless groan. God. He wanted to touch every part of her. The tender skin at her wrist, her lips, her hair. Her hair. He wondered if her hair was undone, and whether he dared to reach for the dark, heavy silk of it, twining his fingers round and round.
An imprudent idea, he decided. The way this night was going, he would probably poke her in the eye instead.
He moved his hand in a lateral caress, aiming for the center of her. As his fingertips brushed the tantalizing curls covering her mound, he cursed himself. He’d meant to bring some oil to ease the way.
He couldn’t go back to retrieve it. If he stopped now, Lord only knew how many layers she’d be buried under when he returned. Instead, he raised two fingers to his lips and sucked them into his mouth, wetting them.
Then he reached between her thighs.
She gasped.
Clenching his jaw in an attempt at restraint, he focused on the task at hand. He slid his fingers up and down the seam of her cleft. Her breathing quickened—with apprehension, no doubt.
“You do understand what will happen?” he asked belatedly, his voice thick with lust. “What goes where, and all that?”
He felt her nod. “Yes.”
“I’ll try to be gentle with you. Failing that, I’ll be quick.”
He parted her folds, and then pressed his second finger inside her heat. Just a fingertip at first, and then a few inches more.
Goddamn. Bloody hell. Jesus Christ.
Fuck.
And every other bit of blasphemy he would have been thrashed as a youth for daring to say.
She was so hot, so tight, and made of the same flawless silk inside as her body was without.
Her breath came faster still, thin at the edges. Damn, he was a monster. She was anxious, even fearful. He was mindless with lust. Lost in the instinctive desire to lick and taste and suck, then take her hips in both hands and thrust deep.
If this didn’t happen soon, he was going to spill his seed on all five of her blankets, and the entire exercise would have been in vain.
He pushed another finger inside her, sliding in and out, stretching her body to prepare his way.
Was she ready?
He withdrew his fingers to the tips, then thrust them both inside to the hilt, driving deep.
She cried out in surprise, and her hips bucked. “Please.”
Her breaking voice pierced through his haze of lust.
Please.
Ash removed his hand at once. Struggling to catch his breath, he pushed himself up on one elbow, then rose to a sitting position. “Sorry.”
He fumbled for his dressing gown, and then thrust his arms through the sleeves. By the fact that the thing barely covered his arse when he stood, he deduced that he’d put it on upside-down.
“It’s fine,” she said. “Truly. We can continue.”
“No. I’ve pressed you too far, too quickly.” He thought about attempting to retrieve his candle, then abandoned the idea. His eyes had adjusted enough that he could find his way to the door.
“But—”
“It will wait for tomorrow.”
He opened the door, went through it, and closed it behind him. He paused, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. But when he started to leave, he felt something tugging him back.
Damn it. He’d shut a fold of his dressing gown in the door.
He thunked his head against the doorjamb. Did marriage make utter fools of all men? Or was it just him?
He turned the doorknob again.
“Did you change your mind?” she asked.
“No,” he replied, defensive. “I came back to tell you that I hadn’t.”
“Oh.”
“So you needn’t worry I’ll be returning tonight. Aside from this time, of course.”
He shut the door on her reply, but it followed him into the corridor.
“If you say so.”
Ash took all his unsatisfied lust and carried it out-of-doors, into the night. He’d considered giving himself some manual relief. However, the idea of spending his wedding night with his own hand was too pathetic to contemplate.
Walking it off was the only respectable option.
He stuck to the narrower lanes and the alleyways behind the mews, keeping the collar of his cloak upturned and his hat pulled down over his brow.
Eventually, he out-walked the aching tension in his groin. Yet there was something else he couldn’t seem to shake.
Please, she’d whispered.
Please.
The word had shocked him. He’d pulled away at once, uncertain whether she’d uttered it in pleasure or pain. Her breathless voice almost suggested the former—but that was too absurd to contemplate.
First, she was a virgin. Second, she was a vicar’s daughter. Third, she was a virgin vicar’s daughter. And fourth, he was the scarred, ill-tempered—if fantastically wealthy—wretch who’d strong-armed her into in a marriage of convenience with no courtship whatsoever.
He must have hurt her, or scared her, or—most lowering to contemplate—repulsed her.
At best, he’d merely pressed her beyond her comfort for the first night.
Ash kicked at stones as he walked. Until he kicked something rotted and soft. Ugh. He didn’t know what it was, but he was not stopping to investigate. He switched to poking at obstacles with his walking stick.
He would have to revise
