‘Do you think I don’t know that?’
‘I already have a son.’ A son he would gladly have laid down his life to protect … just as his mother had.
It was this knowledge that gave him the strength to withstand the appeal in her eyes. Of course he knew that nobody blamed him for Sara’s death and rationally he recognised it had not been his fault, but the fact remained that had he not been irresponsible enough to get her pregnant, had he not cajoled her into marriage with promises of a luxurious lifestyle and persuaded her against a termination, she would be alive today.
Dervla’s full lower lip wobbled and there was a tremor in her voice as she said bleakly, ‘But we could have a baby together. I don’t have a son. I don’t have a baby. The doctor said there have been incredible advances in IVF over the last few years.’
‘And you went to see a doctor behind my back …’ Gianfranco blocked his growing feelings of guilt with anger.
‘Don’t look at me like that, Gianfranco.’
‘Like what?’ he asked her coldly.
She slung him an exasperated look. ‘I think you’d have been happier if I’d just told you I was having an affair!’ she accused.
Another man—that was funny … Her lips twitched and a burble of borderline hysteria escaped them, causing the fine lines of tension and anxiety around her mouth to briefly smooth out.
Gianfranco watched her, his face like stone. Dervla being touched by another man did not make him feel like laughing or even smiling. It ignited a rage deep inside him.
Dervla sighed and shook her head in a slow negative motion. She made a conscious effort to lower the escalating antagonism.
‘I wasn’t going behind your back—just wanted some facts before I discussed it with you. I didn’t see any reason to raise your hopes, and he said that—’
Gianfranco cut across her; he didn’t want to hear what any doctor had said. It had been a doctor who had told him that the diabetes that Sara had developed during pregnancy was no cause for concern. Gestational diabetes, he had explained, was common but rarely a problem after the birth.
And like a fool he had believed him.
Far from vanishing after the birth, Sara’s condition had progressed to full insulin-dependent diabetes requiring daily injections.
And again he had been won over by the confident medical assertion that there was no reason that Sara could not live a full normal life.
It had been three months later that he had buried Sara, who had died of an accidental overdose of insulin.
‘I thought our marriage was based on transparency?’
‘No our marriage—’ She bit back, pushing herself off the bed … God, if she didn’t she’d have strangled him! ‘What about what I want, Gianfranco? What I need?’ Pushing her arms into a robe, she turned and threw him a look of challenge.
‘I thought I gave you what you want and need.’
‘I want this baby.’
‘There is no baby, Dervla.’
‘There could be, there could be!’ she wailed, frustrated by his refusal to even consider what she was saying.
‘I know people who have been down the IVF route. It took over their lives, put a lot of strain on their relationship, not to mention the emotional and physical strain being pumped full of chemicals has on the woman.’
‘Some people think it’s worth it … and if you never even try you’d always wonder.’
‘That is not a route I wish ever to go down. Besides, from what you told me the chances of you getting pregnant would be remote.’ If it took brutal to get his point across, so be it.
Dervla pressed her clenched fists tight against her stomach; she felt physically sick.
‘But there is a chance.’ She couldn’t believe that Gianfranco couldn’t see she had to take it. The icy hand inside her chest tightened as she watched him slowly shake his head.
‘There is no use begging, Dervla. I will not give you a baby.’
Anger flooded through her, releasing adrenaline into her bloodstream. Maybe it wasn’t a baby he didn’t want—it was her baby. ‘Then maybe I’ll find myself someone who will.’
If he had reacted angrily, if he had done almost anything but thrown back his head and laughed, she might have calmed down … but he did laugh.
‘You think I wouldn’t?’
He stopped laughing.
Dervla shivered as their eyes connected. She had never seen his eyes look so cold.
‘I know you wouldn’t.’ Because if he caught a man within sniffing distance of her he would make sure they never sniffed again!
Dervla’s eyes narrowed to icy green slits. ‘Is that a fact?’ she said in a conversational tone. ‘What do you know? Infallible Gianfranco Bruni turns out not to know everything after all.’
‘What are you doing?’ he asked as she began to rush around the room erratically flinging open doors and drawers and flinging the contents she extracted into a bag.
‘I’m packing.’
His patrician features tight, he gave a contemptuous sneer. ‘You’re being ridiculous.’ She wouldn’t go.
She went to the drawer and pulled out her passport. ‘No, I’m finally not being ridiculous. Marrying you, I must have been mad! You’re the most selfish man I have ever met,’ she choked. ‘I’ll take a car. I’ll leave it at the airport.’
CHAPTER THREE
THERE had been no question of where Dervla would go.
When she was in trouble it had been totally predictable where, or rather who, she would bolt to, sure of a welcome and equally sure her best friend Sue wouldn’t push her for explanations until she was ready.
Her actions were actually so predictable that she couldn’t even pretend that Gianfranco’s silence was due to his inability to locate her. He would know her destination without cause to use the mental powers some people nervously suggested bordered on the paranormal.
She couldn’t even picture him desperately searching for her. The only thing Gianfranco was desperately doing was ignoring the fact she existed, ignoring the fact he had a wife.
She was considering his seeming indifference to her flight when the phone rang.
For a moment Dervla froze and stared at it as if it were a striking snake.
It would serve him right if she ignored it.
Even before the thought was half formed she literally dived for it. Her hand shook as she lifted the receiver and raised it to her ear.
‘Hello.’
