nothing to do was that her thoughts kept going back to Jadon. He hadn’t made good on his threat to return, and she wasn’t certain if she was relieved by the lapse or disappointed. She tried to convince herself his absence was for the best. She needed time to get over the shock of knowing he was back. Somehow, she simply couldn’t believe he’d meant what he’d said.
He wanted to be a part of their children’s lives? Supporting them emotionally as well as financially? What exactly did that mean?
Was he envisioning some sort of joint custody agreement? Dual parenting? The thought of giving up her babies on alternate weekends made her feel sick.
So she tried not to think about their dubious future at all. Especially since Jadon hadn’t been able to promise he wouldn’t leave again. Maybe his definition of emotional support was different from hers. Once he understood the amount of work twins entailed, he’d likely disappear for good, just like her father had. She needed to keep her heart safe. No way did she want to be hurt like that again.
Several of her coworkers stopped by to see her, giving the occasional break in the monotony. Susan, her coworker in the ED, brought her a beautiful red poinsettia plant, which provided a cheerful, festive feeling to her room. Seth had popped in very briefly to assure her that Ben was indeed doing fine and that he’d be discharged the following morning.
Alyssa could only hope an early morning discharge was in her future, too.
As she hadn’t done a thing all day except lie in bed watching television, sleep didn’t come easily. She spent far too much time thinking of Jadon.
Remembering their last night together.
The way they’d made love, urgently, as if knowing, instinctively, the heat and passion between them couldn’t last.
The desolation she’d felt once she’d realized he was gone.
At the time, she’d told herself she was better off without him. They’d met during a very complicated trauma resuscitation, two victims of a multiple motorvehicle crash. From the very beginning, she’d realized Jadon was an excellent physician. She’d admired the way he kept calm in a crisis, yet treated the distraught families with dignity and respect. His charisma was like a beacon, drawing her near. She’d warned herself to ignore the attraction she felt for him, but it seemed like every time she glanced up at him, he was staring at her.
When their fingers had touched that first time, pure electricity had sizzled between them.
Eventually, they weren’t able to stay away from each other. He asked her to come home with him after a late shift they’d shared, and against her better judgment she agreed.
She knew better than to fall for a handsome guy like Jadon. Her mother had harped on the inability of handsome men to remain faithful. Alyssa had seen a few of the early photographs of her parents together, realizing her father had indeed been a good-looking guy.
And he’d left a week before her third birthday, leaving her mother to raise a young daughter all alone.
All her life Alyssa had tried to avoid ending up like her mother. Her mother had been forced to go from job to job, always seeking better pay, which hadn’t been easy since she didn’t have a college degree or any specialty training. It wasn’t her mother’s fault that she’d spent more time working, or obsessing about working, than paying attention to Alyssa.
So Alyssa had vowed to make something of her life. To never be dependent on any man. She’d taken out student loans to attend college, to have a career as an ED nurse so she’d never have to worry about not having a steady, reliable job.
She’d also avoided being hurt by men, like her mother had been, keeping her relationships lighthearted and fun. Especially if the guy she was with seemed like he wasn’t exactly father material.
Like Jadon. Yet here she was, pregnant and alone. With twins, which put a big crimp in her plan to stay independent.
And as much as she wanted to blame Jadon, she knew the truth of the matter was that she had no one to blame for her situation but herself.
Jadon was exhausted; he’d been called in early for his night shift because the ED had been flooded with trauma calls. He hadn’t slept very well in the first place, and being called in early meant he’d missed going back up to L & D to check on Alyssa. During the night, he’d had a few minutes of downtime, but obviously then wasn’t the appropriate time to wake her.
When he finished his shift at eight-thirty in the morning, he took a few minutes to swing by to see how she was doing.
He helped himself to more coffee, double-strength to keep the fatigue at bay. With less than three hours of sleep, and a physically demanding endless stream of patients, his entire body ached, as if he’d been run over by an eighteen-wheeler.
As he stepped off the elevators on the fifth floor labor and delivery area, he ran into Seth, Kylie and Ben. He quickly realized they were making their way down to see Alyssa as well.
“Jadon,” Seth greeted him coolly. The silence stretched for a long moment before Seth grudgingly made formal introductions. “This is my fiancée, Kylie Germaine. And her son, soon to be our son, Ben. Kylie and Ben, this is Dr. Jadon Reichert, one of the ED physicians here at Cedar Bluff.”
“Good to see you both again,” Jadon said, forcing a smile. He’d noticed Seth hadn’t introduced him as a friend, but only as a colleague. He turned his attention to the boy. “Especially you, Ben. You’re doing much better than yesterday.”
“Yes, well, he’s finally been discharged, but has also refused to leave without seeing Alyssa,” Kylie commented dryly.
“Alyssa can’t come to visit me because she might have her babies too early,” Ben announced in an allimportant tone.
Jadon’s lips twitched with the need to grin. “Yes, that’s right,” he agreed. “She needs to rest. But I know she’ll be glad to see you, as she’s been very worried about you.”
“I love Alyssa,” Ben said very seriously. “She risked her life for me.”
“I think she’s special, too,” Jadon said, his chest feeling tight with emotion. He thought Ben’s case of hero worship for Alyssa was sweet. Not that he blamed the kid.
He’d heard the story yesterday, about how Alyssa had fallen into the icy water, trying to rescue Ben. She’d gotten the boy out first, but then almost couldn’t make her way out of the water. When he thought of how things could have ended very differently, he felt sick and shaky all over.
“Come on, Ben,” Seth said, interrupting them. “Let’s go and visit Alyssa, shall we?”
Jadon told himself he was overreacting to Seth’s abruptness, but the way Kylie dodged his gaze only confirmed it wasn’t his imagination. With a flash of annoyance he tried not to obsess about how he didn’t even know Kylie on a personal level—she hadn’t been here in Cedar Bluff when he’d left—so there was no reason for her to carry a grudge against him. She’d obviously picked up on Seth’s disdain.
Part of their attitude might be because they were afraid he’d leave Alyssa again, he acknowledged.
But even more, he suspected Seth didn’t think he was good enough for Alyssa. A fact he couldn’t argue.
Even
