nodded. “Who knew?”
Nanny shook her head. “I would not have expected that.”
“Neither would I have,” Ericka said.
Nanny lifted her hands in the sign language for applause. “Good for you. Good for Leo.”
Ericka smiled and echoed the sign language. “We’re working on it,” she said. “In the meantime, it’s time for me to go to work.”
“Drink another cup of coffee,” Nanny said.
Ericka extended her mug up toward the woman, who refilled her cup. “I’m so glad I don’t have to meet face-to-face with anyone today. Thank goodness this is a phone day.”
“Take a nap midday then have juice and a cookie,” Nanny said. “It will be good for you.”
Ericka chuckled, but she couldn’t help thinking Nanny had a good point. Maybe, if everyone took a nap after lunch followed by a snack of juice and a cookie, then the world would be a better place. She would be less cranky. That was for sure.
She made several calls throughout the day. Coffee kept her going. Just before dinner, she signed off and typed some final notes on her laptop. The conference planning was coming along. She was pleased with her progress.
Ericka stood and shook her body to release her stiffness and tension. A short dip in the pool would do her good, she thought, and she went to her bedroom to change into a bathing suit. It was dinner time, but she was more interested in the sensation of sinking into water than eating. Thank goodness the pool was heated.
Ericka stepped down the stairs into the pool, pausing before the last step. The water was cooler than she’d expected. She finally took that last step and let out a little squeal. Sinking down to her neck, she shivered, but quickly adjusted.
She took a deep breath then plunged her face in the water and began to swim. She made it to the far wall and turned then swam back. Out of breath, she paused and chastised herself. “Go,” she muttered to herself and swam another lap. She returned and grasped the side of the pool, gasping for air.
A warm hand covered hers on the side of the pool. “Are you okay?”
Surprised, she inhaled water and coughed. And coughed. And coughed. She felt a splash beside her and a thump on her back. She hacked a couple more times then took a low, careful breath through her nostrils.
“Did you have to startle me?” she finally managed, looking up at Mr. Walker who was fully dressed in jeans and a polo shirt. Drenched, he stared down at her, his shirt clinging to his perfectly muscled body.
“I thought you were drowning,” he said. “You kept gasping for air but ducking your head under the water.”
“I was pushing myself to go a little farther. I realize it may look pathetic in your eyes, but I haven’t had a lot of physical exercise during the last few months.”
“Oh,” he said, watching her as she continued to catch her breath.
“Have you ever had a baby?” she asked.
His mouth twitched in a cockeyed smile. “Not that I can remember.”
Ericka took a deep breath and headed toward the steps. She felt his hands on her waist guiding her. “That’s not—”
“No problem,” he said, continuing to help her up the steps.
Her heart raced at his touch and she didn’t like the sensation. “Let go of me. I’m fine.”
He didn’t release her until she was steady. She resented the fact that she wasn’t steady one minute earlier. She resented him, too.
“I was just taking a swim,” she said.
He stepped up beside her in his wet street cloths and looked down at her. “Maybe you shouldn’t do as many laps next time.”
“I didn’t do that many,” she retorted.
“Cut yourself some slack. Isn’t your baby still waking up every night?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said.
“And you don’t let the nanny take over nearly often enough, then,” he said.
Ericka took another deep breath, hating that he was speaking the truth. She so wanted him to be wrong. “I can handle it.”
“I’m your security detail,” he said, and extended his hand. “I can’t let you drown yourself.”
She ignored his hand and walked away, her limbs heavy from her exertion. “You ruined my swim.”
“I saved you from drowning,” he corrected.
She turned around and stared at him. “You are a total pain and you will be gone in six days.”
He gave a crooked smile again. “Your brother insisted that you give me a trial period.”
Ericka scowled. I hate you, she wanted to say. “Good night. You’ll be gone soon enough,” she said, and then turned to walk away.
“You know Beethoven wrote some of his most famous work when he was deaf,” he said.
She stopped and her heart stopped, too. Ericka took a deep breath, more moved by his words than she would ever want to admit. “Good night,” she repeated, although even she would admit she sounded less hostile.
Although she turned on a light in Leo’s room, he still awakened in the middle of the night and screamed bloody murder. Nanny was there to help, but Ericka felt responsible. She was his mother. She was the one who should soothe him back to sleep. As soon as she drew him into her arms, he quieted.
As she rocked him in the middle of the night, she wondered if she would ever be the mother he needed. He was such a precious soul. How could she be all he needed?
She dozed a bit with him in her lap then rose and carefully placed him in the crib, keeping her hand on him for several moments. She felt him drift to sleep and carefully walked away.
An hour later, he awakened again. This time, she let Nanny take him. At the same time, she felt like a failure. Why couldn’t she help her son so that he would sleep through the night?
Exhausted, she awakened later than usual and forced herself to climb out of bed. Stumbling toward the bath, she splashed her face with water and brushed her teeth then headed for the kitchen for coffee. She wanted to mainline it through her veins.
Nanny offered her a cup. “Would you like cream and sugar, ma’am?”
“That sounds wonderful,” Ericka said. “Have you gotten any sleep since four am?”
“Yes, ma’am, I have,” Nanny said. “His royal self gave it up after half a bottle. Men,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s all about food.”
Ericka chuckled and took a sip of her coffee. “So true. And this morning?”
“He’s
