Not any more. The aggressive therapy and even the amputation had been the right thing to do. As far as they were able to tell, Stella was cured of her cancer. She could go on and be free of the dreadful disease for the rest of a long lifetime, thank God.
‘That’s good. Only there’s a bunch of them in one of the dormitories. It’s been turned into a giant sick bay and we’re doing special meals that they’ll have in bed.’ She pointed at the trays she was setting. ‘Shame, isn’t it? Having a bug like this going around when these kids are supposed to be having such a good time.’
‘It is,’ Alex agreed. ‘Thank you. I’ll go and find Stella.’
He cast a glance towards the dormitories as he headed for the swimming pool. Hopefully, Stella was finally robust enough to ward off a dose of flu but even if she didn’t, it was highly unlikely that this viral illness was really dangerous and the camp had still been worthwhile.
And thank goodness he had made the effort to get here himself. To have the opportunity to witness those early—unaided—steps that Stella had taken.
Now that arrangements were in place to cover his extended absence from Sydney, Alex could see the bonus this quarantine represented, even though he still considered it to be an overreaction.
Unexpectedly, he was being given time to get to know the young woman his daughter had suddenly morphed into. He could get used to the idea that she was no longer a little girl and actually appreciate the glimpses he was getting of the adult she would become.
Like the way she had put someone else’s needs ahead of her own and accepted that Alex had to look after Danny. More than that, the way she had been prepared to take responsibility for the care of other children in Benita’s absence.
It should be easy to find her because she would be with Susie and a group of younger children. Alex could see Benita near the pool, sitting in the shade of a fig tree, a child wrapped in a fluffy towel on her lap. He scanned the whole area but, disappointingly, neither Stella nor Susie could be seen.
‘I got back here a while ago,’ Benita told Alex when he approached her. ‘I left the medical centre while you were off talking to Dr Wetherby. Stella was doing a great job with this lot but she looked a bit tired. I told her and Susie they should go and chill out on the beach.’
Alex nodded his thanks. ‘I’ll catch up with you later and give you an update on Danny. I said I’d go and check him again in a couple of hours.’ He tapped the pocket of his shorts. ‘I’ve got my mobile on and Beth knows to call me if she’s worried.’
Halfway down the track leading to the beach, Alex figured out why this search seemed an odd thing to be doing. He never went looking for women. They were always just there—waiting for him. Following him even. Nurses, nannies, housekeepers. Even Stella.
Susie was different, wasn’t she?
And, maybe thanks to her influence, Stella was becoming different.
Alex liked that.
He liked it a lot.
He thought back to those first minutes of meeting Susie. To what he had perceived as an unprofessional- looking, difficult woman who had seemed intent on telling him how he should be bringing up his daughter. Ready to stand there and fight on Stella’s behalf, no less. Prepared to antagonise him right from the start. No hint of using Stella as a means to get closer to him. Quite the opposite.
And if he’d harboured any doubts about her sincerity, they had blown away when he’d seen those tears this afternoon. Her sheer joy in sharing Stella’s victory. Joy that spoke of a real understanding of what his daughter had been through in the last couple of years.
What he’d been through.
That moment had touched something very deep within Alex. Deep enough to have been hidden even from himself. For the first time he had realised what he’d missed in not having someone close enough to share those dark times. Someone he could trust enough to lean on. He’d been so sure he hadn’t needed that. He’d proved he hadn’t needed it.
Catching Susie’s gaze at that poignant moment of triumph had shown him how much easier it would have been to have had someone like Susie by his side.
No, not someone like Susie.
Only Susie.
The idea that there could be some way to keep her in his life was new. Startling enough to make Alex pause as he reached the beach. To stand and watch the gentle surf rolling in instead of searching the shoreline for the people he was trying to find.
What the hell did he think he was doing? He’d sworn off ever thinking like this again. He needed a moment to remind himself why. To remember the betrayal that had been intolerable because it had involved someone more important than himself.
Stella.
Strangely, the bitterness associated with summoning Greta’s image into his head had lessened. So much that it was difficult to find it and, by association, hard to resurrect the mistrust for any woman that automatically precluded the idea of a meaningful relationship.
He had loved Greta. Stella had loved her. Perhaps it had been the girl’s conviction that she had finally found the mother she’d been desperate for since she was old enough to notice what was missing in her life that had persuaded Alex to take that relationship to the next level.
To—almost—propose marriage.
Thank God he hadn’t. The pretence of her love for Stella had been unmasked with astonishing ease. From the moment the cancer had been diagnosed, Greta had backed away from hospital visits, unable to disguise her distaste for hair that had come out in handfuls and the inevitable vomiting from the chemo.
Susie wouldn’t have been like that. She would have been there, holding a distressed girl’s head. Finding something prettier than a baseball cap to hide the hair loss. Ready for when Stella felt well enough to show her how to use make-up to help her feel better about the way she looked.
Alex had seen more than the tears of joy at Stella’s success today. He had seen where they had come from. Not simply the comprehension of the struggle to get to that point. The depth of Susie’s involvement in that moment could only have come from the way she felt about Stella.
The bond she had already demonstrated when she had so willingly and effectively dealt with the bathroom crisis the other night.
Real caring.
Love.
Yes. Alex took a long, deliberate inward breath and let it out very slowly. It might take time to get used to feeling this way but new determination was being born. Determination to continue this journey with Susie Jackson and to see where it might lead them all.
It wasn’t because of the way Susie felt about his daughter. That had simply opened a door he had considered locked. Made it a possibility that he could trust again. Allowed him the undeniable thrill at the prospect of more of what he had shared with Susie last night.
He wanted her.
He wanted her more than he had ever
