folded her hands and lowered her head. “Yes, it would.”
He was silent for a moment. He stared at the brick wall opposite the bench where they sat. Then he asked, “Before that letter, she never told you my name or anything about me?”
Belle shivered, folded her arms around herself and shook her head. “No. Didn’t I already say that?”
“I just want to get real clear on all this.”
“She asked me not to read the letter until after she was gone. I did what she asked. I did it her way. It wasn’t an easy time. My main concern was for my friend, to help her get through the final days of her life. The only other thing that mattered then was Ben—to make that horrible time as bearable for him as I possibly could, to make certain he knew that he was loved and safe and would always be cared for.”
There was a moment. He stared straight ahead. She feared he would say something angry and hurtful. But he surprised her. In the end, he leaned toward her, bumping his shoulder against hers in way that struck her as reluctantly companionable. “Okay,” he said. “I’m sorry. I am. I know this isn’t your fault, that you’re doing the best you can here. I’m sorry you lost your friend. I’m furious at Anne, but I still can’t believe that she’s...no longer on this earth. It’s awful that she died. But the hard truth is that I’ve been a father for a year and a half and I just found out yesterday that I have a son. I want someone to blame for that and you’re way too damn convenient.”
“Yes,” she said softly. “I can see that.”
He stared at that brick wall some more. “She died less than two weeks ago, you said?”
“Yes.”
“I gotta hand it to you.” His voice was rough with carefully contained emotion. “You got here fast.”
“There seemed...no excuse to put it off. Though I must confess, Preston, I wanted only to put it off, to take Ben home with me to Montedoro and bring him up as my own.”
“But you couldn’t. You did the right thing.”
She turned toward him on the bench. “Please. She’s gone. Don’t hate her. She did the best she could. And she was Ben’s mother. Don’t...poison her memory for him.”
He was looking in her eyes now. His mouth was grim, but his gaze was warmer than before. “I would never do that.”
She did reach out then. She laid her hand on his arm. Beneath the sleeve of his coat, she felt the strength of him, that steadiness she’d admired from the first. “Good. I didn’t think you would.”
He looked down at her hand. She withdrew it. He said, “It was wrong what she did. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that. But that’s not something the child has to know about. From what you’re describing, she was a good mother. A loving mother.”
“Oh, yes. She was.”
“I’ll, uh, focus on that.”
“I’m grateful that you will.” She wished she could make him truly understand the good, generous heart of her lost friend. But she didn’t really understand herself why Anne hadn’t done the right thing concerning her child’s father. She put her hands between her knees, rubbed them together—and gave it one more shot. “Anne was...so independent. She never wanted to be tied down. She had her work that she loved. I don’t think she ever planned to marry. And when she got pregnant with Ben... I don’t know. She was happy to be having a baby. She told me so more than once, when we would speak on the phone. And then after Ben was born, I could hear the joy in her voice every time she mentioned her baby. But she still had no desire to have a husband, to make the traditional sort of family.”
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