of them got the wrong idea.” He laughed at the sky and then turned a wry smile on her. “Some had the wrong idea from the start. Honestly, that kind of constant speculation…” He let out a grunt. “It’s not like I had a mind for love and marriage before all that, so it didn’t take much to turn me off completely.”
“But…the right girl?”
“Payton, there are a million ‘right’ girls. Right for right now. But it doesn’t last with me.”
“And you still would have married Annegret? You could have lived like that?” She shook her head, fighting the urge to press her hand against the center of his chest. “Without love?”
Nate let out a short laugh. “It’s called responsibility. It’s not always fun. But it’s necessary. Besides, I’ve lived without falling in ‘love’ this long,” he said, making the taboo emotion sound like something toxic. “I don’t want it.”
That much was clear. Even so, she couldn’t help but wonder…How many women before her had inadvertently given Nate Evans their heart? And had any of them gotten it back?
Chapter Nine
THE temperature had dropped with the afternoon sun, and Nate stood at the rear of his car shaking out the sand from the blanket while Payton sat bundled in the front seat. The roof was up and the heater on. Still, she was chilled and he’d wrapped her into a spare fleece he kept in the trunk. She’d looked fragile tucked into the expanse of his oversized pullover. Like something to shelter. Take into his arms and hold.
Which was nuts. Closing the trunk, he rounded to the driver’s side door and levered into his seat.
Payton smiled over at him, then nodded back at the darkening sky. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
Her curls were wild with wind-blown abandon. Her cheeks alive with the pink flush of exertion. “Yes. Breathtaking.”
Her gaze dropped to her lap, to where only the tips of her fingers peeked from the ends of cuffed sleeves. A sure sign of the nerves he really shouldn’t take such satisfaction in stirring.
“Thank you for bringing me out here.”
“It was my pleasure. Been a long time since I was here myself. I guess being around you’s making me sort of nostalgic.”
She smiled, still not meeting his eyes. “Me, too.”
The parking lot was deserted. The interior of the car cozy and intimate. He didn’t want to admit just how nostalgic he’d become for things from his high-school past—like long wet kisses and getting naked in the back seat by the beach. Didn’t want to admit even to himself how tempting the idea of slipping his fingers into those soft curls and pulling her over him had become.
But making out was a bad idea, and for more reasons than he was six foot five and this was a stick shift convertible with a back seat too small to accommodate a dog. Payton wasn’t the kind of woman Nate normally dated. His relationships were short-term and emotionally barren—the women he indulged in them with all too quickly forgotten. And while the sex from the night before had definitely been of the no-strings variety, Payton would never go for something so shallow on an ongoing basis. Hell, he wouldn’t want her to. One night, sure. There’d been an attraction and they both understood the parameters, but that kind of mutual attraction would be dangerous to exploit. He couldn’t give her serious and she didn’t deserve anything less.
And what was more, she was right about there being friendship between them. A bond unique to her. Something he’d missed over the years without exactly understanding why. But now that they had it back, he wouldn’t take it lightly.
And Payton was of a similar mind.
Mostly.
He’d seen the way her gaze drifted to his mouth periodically throughout the day. And he’d seen the way she wrenched it away. The quick shake of her head and even quicker redirect to topics of a non-sexually charged nature. She was on board with the plan. The friends plan.
And yet, even knowing sex wasn’t how he wanted the relationship to go, the dark fringe of her lashes, the pout of her bottom lip, even the way her bare feet were tucked beneath her—all of those details had somehow slipped under his skin, calling to a part of him that wasn’t platonic.
Maybe it was the environment. He’d brought dates here a time or two. Set up a tent and lost himself in their willing bodies.
Only he wasn’t thinking about the dates whose names he could barely remember. He was thinking about Payton. About the sound of her sigh at his ear as he pushed inside her. The clutch of her fingers in his hair as he took her against the wall. The way she cried out when he gave her his mouth—
Not where his mind ought to be going.
Not when Payton had felt his gaze on her and turned those soft brown eyes to meet his. Not when the music of the crashing surf was playing for them and the just-one-night they’d agreed to in a moment of more defined clarity than this had come and gone.
Damn it. Until Payton, friendship and sex had always been mutually exclusive. There’d never been a blurring of the line between the two, so he didn’t have any experience with the complication she presented now.
Nate gave himself a firm mental shake. One thing he did know. Friends used their mouths for talking. So, fingers wrapped around the steering wheel, he forced his gaze to the road and talked. “Tuesday, the charity event.”
Payton shifted around until her knees tucked up and her back half pressed against the passenger door. “We’ll arrive separately. Maintain a decent distance throughout.”
“Though you find it impossible to keep your eyes off me,” he amended, just for kicks.
She snickered. “Is that so?”
“Absolutely. I’m temptation incarnate,” he answered, heading for the highway, doing his best to ignore the temptation he wanted no part of in the seat beside him.
By the time they arrived back at Payton’s apartment the tension that filled the car when they’d once again found themselves in close proximity had dissipated. They’d made their plans for Tuesday night and fallen into an easy discussion for the remainder of the ride.
Laughing, talking, catching up on the years that had passed them by.
Nate was interested in her teaching. In her plans. Curious about how she’d gotten into the field of special education and not the least bit concerned about the pay or prestige of the school. He simply made her feel good about her choices and, being the only one, it made all the difference.
She unbuckled as he jogged around the car. A steady rain had begun to fall, and though she’d been more than willing to dash into her apartment alone, Nate wouldn’t have it.
So without benefit of umbrella, he let her out and ran up the walk beside her.
Rushing to the security door, she tried the key, fumbled and tried again, giving into a frustrated growl as her clumsiness got the both of them a soak. The chill that settled in at the beach was back in full force, making her fingers stiff and useless.
“Here, let me.” A warm hand closed around hers and
