The message in Nikolai’s eyes was so very clear she couldn’t miss it. He wanted her. She had no idea how she knew that, having done nothing more than kiss a man. But on a primal level that she’d never known existed within her she recognised the hunger in those inky-black eyes.
Hunger for her.
After years of believing she was unattractive to men, this powerful, dominating man wanted her. Worse than that—she wanted him too. She wanted to taste his kiss and feel his arms around her. She was so far from home, and everything she’d hoped this trip would bring looked in doubt, but right now none of that mattered. Only the searing hot attraction between them mattered. Only the promise of being desired for the woman she was.
What was it her last foster mother had always said? Live for the moment. She let the advice swirl in her mind, pushing back the cruel words her father had taunted her with the one and only time she’d met him.
She looked again at Nikolai, at the intensity in his eyes. She’d never done that before, never taken the lead with a man, even though she’d always hoped she and Richard could be something. Now she knew why. What she felt for him was purely friendship, whereas what she felt for Nikolai, and had done since the moment they’d met, was far more intense. She had no choice but to live for the moment. If she kissed him, allowed herself to step into the sanctuary of his strong arms, would that be living for the moment?
‘Neither am I.’ Her whisper was so soft she wondered if she’d actually said anything, but the slight rise of his brows and the deepening intensity in his eyes told her she had—and he’d understood.
In answer he lowered his head and covered her lips with his, moving them gently until hers parted, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Heat exploded through her and she knew this was far more than a kiss; this was a prelude to something she’d never done before. He deepened the kiss again, setting light to her whole body. They couldn’t do this here. Anyone could see them.
She pulled back, alarmed at how her heart raced, thumping in her chest like a horse galloping across the finishing line. Except this wasn’t the end. This was only the beginning. Empowered by that knowledge and the need to let go of restraint and become a real woman, one who knew desire and passion, she smiled at him. ‘Let’s go upstairs.’
He looked down at her, his eyes searching hers, and she hoped he wouldn’t be able to tell how inexperienced she was. A man like this must have had many lovers and the last thing he’d want would be a shy virgin. Although she couldn’t change the fact that she’d never done more than kiss a man lightly on the lips, she could stop herself from being shy. All she needed to do was let go and live for the moment.
‘It can’t be anything more than this night,’ he said as he took her hand. ‘I don’t want a relationship and commitment. I’m not looking for love and happiness. I want to know you understand that, Emma.’
‘Love and happiness,’ she said, a little too sharply, if his hardening expression was any gauge. ‘It doesn’t exist, Nikolai. I’m not a fool. In just three days we will go our separate ways and it will be as if this night never happened.’
Where had all that come from? Had passion muddled her mind? She was actually asking to spend the night with him, just one night and nothing more. She who’d told herself she would wait for her Prince Charming, although deep down she knew he didn’t exist. Her childhood might have been hard, but it had grounded her expectations of life. She knew true love didn’t exist—or, if it did, it never lasted once passion had subsided.
He said nothing. Instead he took her hand in his and led her away from the hotel lounge. Her hand was small in his as she glanced down at it, but she didn’t pull back. Her step didn’t falter. She was emboldened by the fizz of powerful desire humming in her body, the freedom to be a very different woman and a chance to erase the ever-present doubt her father had planted within her by denying she existed.
As they walked along the corridors of the chalet-style building she wondered if anyone else could tell that she was on fire at the thought of what she was about to do. But there wasn’t anyone around and finally he stopped outside his room. She leant against the wall, needing the support of something solid as her knees weakened just from the intensity in his eyes.
‘Are you sure this is what you want?’ His voice broke as desire turned it into a very sexy whisper. He touched his hand to her face, brushing his fingers down her cheek, but she kept her gaze firmly on him.
Did he think she was playing games? She’d never been as sure of anything in her life. Whatever had ignited between them during those first moments they had met was destined to end like this. There could be no other outcome. Even she knew that and this was exactly what she wanted.
‘Yes.’ The word came out as a husky whisper and boldly she placed the palms of her hands on his chest, relishing the strength beneath his shirt and cashmere sweater.
His arms wrapped around her, pulling her against him, and a startled gasp slipped from her as she felt the hardness of him pressing intimately against her, awakening her further. To hide her embarrassment she slipped her hands around his neck, her fingers sliding into the dark hair at his collar.
His mouth claimed hers in a demanding kiss, one which stoked the fire he’d lit, sending it roaring higher until she knew it would totally consume her. The dark stubble on his face burned her skin with pleasure. His tongue slid into her mouth, tasting her, teasing her. She matched his kiss, demanding as much from him as he did from her. Whatever this was, she intended to make the most of it. Just for one night she would give in to her own needs and do exactly what she wanted. For one night she was going to put herself first, believe in herself, believe that at least someone cared, someone wanted her.
His hands cupped her bottom, pulling her tighter against him. His breathing had become as ragged as hers and she plunged her fingers deep into his hair, kissing him harder still. When he broke the kiss she gasped and let her head fall back, her carefully pinned-up hair beginning to fall apart—just as she was.
He kissed down her neck and she arched herself harder against him. She gasped as he kissed lower still over the swell of her breast and right along the neckline of her dress. It wasn’t enough. She wanted more, much more.
‘Take me to your bed.’ Horrified and excited that she’d been bold enough to say what she felt, what she wanted, she laughed. Who was this woman?
‘That is exactly what I intend to do, Emma Sanders. You can be sure of that.’ Instead of letting her go and opening the door of his room, he kissed her again, one hand holding her back as the other slid up her side and to her breast.
Pleasure exploded around her as his fingers teased her hardened nipple through the fabric of her dress. She couldn’t take much more of this. As if he read her thoughts, he pulled back and let her go. She stood and watched as he unlocked the room and pushed the door open. Was she really doing this? Was she really about to step into this man’s room and give herself to him?
Embarrassment rushed over her again, but she hid it with boldness, walking towards him with a suggestive smile on her lips. Tonight she wasn’t Emma Sanders, responsible for everyone else, she was just a woman drowning in desire. With a gentleness which surprised her after the kiss that had bruised her lips, he took her hand and led her into the room. Quietly he clicked the door shut and they were left in almost darkness, the only light coming from outside, creeping in through the blinds in beams of whiteness.
* * *
Nikolai looked at Emma, not wanting to turn the lights on, but wanting to see how beautiful she was. In one minute she seemed bold and
