She shook her head, unable to hide her lack of knowledge. “It’s difficult for him to speak about.”
Joe sighed as if he understood. “That’s my fault. After Lorraine passed, I was so overcome with grief that I shut down and made the boys do the same. Looking back, it was selfish and cowardly. They were kids and they needed me.”
Julia patted his arm. “How did she die?”
“A car accident,” he said quietly. Charlie rested his small head on Joe’s shoulder as if sensing the older man needed comfort.
“How tragic. I’m so sorry for all of you.”
“The tragic part was that it was my fault. I’d been on the force over ten years. I became obsessed with being the most dedicated cop Boston had ever seen. Like a bonehead, I took on the most dangerous assignments they’d give me—whatever I could do to prove that I was the baddest dude on the block. Lorraine couldn’t handle the stress. She begged me to slow down. I wouldn’t listen, brushed aside her worries and only focused on what I wanted.”
He ran his hands through his hair, so much like Sam, then continued, “She’d started drinking at night—not so much that she was falling-down drunk, but enough to numb her. I was tuned out and didn’t realize how bad it had gotten. I got home late one night and we fought. She went for a drive after the boys were in bed—to cool off. She wasn’t even a half mile from the house when she ran the red light. She swerved to avoid another car. Wrapped her car around a telephone pole. She was gone instantly.”
Julia sucked in a breath. The first time she’d met Sam had been when he’d found her after she’d hydroplaned on a wet road and gone over an embankment, her car slamming into a tree. She’d been pregnant at the time, and thinking the accident might have hurt her baby had been the scariest moment of her life. Sam had gotten her to the hospital and stayed with her until Lainey had arrived. She wondered if he’d thought about his mother during that time, or if it had just been another day on the job.
“How devastating for all of you.” She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Joe. Charlie squealed with delight then wriggled to be let down.
“Okay.” She lifted him from Joe’s arms and deposited him on the porch.
Joe swiped at his eyes. “I would have followed her in a minute. I could barely function and had two boys at home who needed me more than ever. Instead, I threw myself into the job like I was tempting fate. If they gave awards for stupidity and selfishness, I would have been a top candidate.”
“Nothing can prepare you for something like that. I’m sure you did the best you could. Sam and his brother must know that.”
Joe held open the screen door and Charlie headed into the house. “It should have been a wake-up call but it took me another twenty years to get my priorities straight. I want to make it right by Sam.”
She looked into Joe Callahan’s kind eyes and her stomach twisted. Julia didn’t have much luck making things right by anyone, and if Joe knew the details of their arrangement, it would break his heart.
“Mama, come.” Charlie peered around the doorway to the kitchen. Charlie. He was the reason she’d entered into this deal in the first place.
“Where’s Sam?” She held out her hand to her son, who ran toward her to take it.
Joe smiled. “Grilling out back.”
She scooped Charlie into her arms and followed Joe down the hall. She’d guess Sam’s house had been built in the early 1900s, and he’d obviously renovated, drawing inspiration from the Craftsman tradition with hardwood floors throughout. In the open kitchen, beautiful maple cabinets hung on each wall. The colors were neutral but not boring, a mix of classic and modern traditions.
Joe led her through one of the French doors that opened to the back patio. It hadn’t rained for a couple of days, and while it was cool, the evening air held the unmistakable scent of spring, with the elms and oaks surrounding the green yard beginning to bud.
Sam stood in front of a stainless-steel grill, enveloped in smoke. He turned and smiled at her and her chest caught again. He wore a dark T-shirt, faded jeans and flip-flops. Julia hadn’t often seen him out of uniform, and while the casual outfit should have made him less intimidating, certain parts of her body responded differently.
“Ball,” Charlie shouted and squirmed in her arms. When Julia put him down, he ran toward an oversized bouncy ball and several plastic trucks stacked near the wrought-iron table.
Sam closed the grill’s lid and met her questioning gaze. “I thought he’d like some toys to play with over here.”
She nodded, a little dumbfounded at the impact the small gesture had on her.
“Sammy said you two are mainly at your place.”
“It’s easier that way.”
“Have you given any thought to where you’ll live once you’re married?”
“Here,” Sam answered at the same time Julia said, “Not really.”
Joe’s brows furrowed, so she added, “My apartment is a rental, so I assumed we’d move in with Sam.”
Sam came to her side and placed a quick kiss on her forehead. “We’re going to make the spare bedroom into Charlie’s room.”
Julia coughed wildly.
“Can I get you a glass of water?” Sam asked.
“I’ll grab it,” Joe said and disappeared into the house.
Sam clapped her on the back. “Are you okay?”
“Not at all.” She drew in a breath. “Charlie’s room?”
“We’re engaged, remember. It’s going to seem strange enough that the kid barely knows me. I didn’t have any of his stuff or toys in the house and my dad started asking questions.”
At that moment, the bouncy ball knocked against Julia’s leg.
“Ball, Mama. Ball.” Charlie squealed with delight.
Sam handed Julia a pair of tongs. “Will you pull the steaks off the grill?” He picked up the ball and tucked it under his arm. “I’m going in for some male bonding.”
Julia watched, fascinated as Sam walked over to Charlie and held out a hand. Without hesitation, Charlie took it and Sam led him into the yard to roll the ball back and forth.
The only man in Charlie’s life was Ethan. Julia tried not to depend too much on him. Lainey, Ethan and Julia had a long history between them, and Julia didn’t want to push the limits of their relationship.
Charlie did his best to mimic Sam’s motions as he rolled and threw the ball, and Julia realized how important it was for her son to have a father figure.
“I knew he’d be great with kids,” Joe said as he handed her a tall glass of water. “Scott is a wild one, but Sam...”
“Why do you think Sam never married?” Julia asked, tapping one finger
