that he take it easy and he was trying, but it was damn hard to do. He wasn’t used to being idle and having to sit around with nothing to do made him feel like a worthless slug. He was accustomed to doing what a man was supposed to do—work hard and make a good living for his wife and the family they were planning to have.
Thinking about his stock-contracting business, he smiled. He was proud of the fact that he had started from scratch and built the Sugar Creek Rodeo Company to the level that he could retire right now without any worries for the rest of his days. But he wasn’t of a mind to do that. As Hank always said, everyone needed a purpose. Sam’s mission in life was to work hard so that Bria would never want for anything, never have to worry where money for their next meal would come from. Unlike what his biological father had done for his mother, Sam intended to see that his wife got whatever her heart desired.
As he looked around the room, he tried to remember the last time he had been home for more than a couple of days at a time. It was frustrating as hell not to recall even the simplest of memories, not to mention it was taking a big toll on his pride. Showing any kind of weakness never had been his style. But the fact that Bria was witness to his most recent limitations made the whole situation doubly humiliating.
He was supposed to be strong and capable—the man who took care of her, not the other way around. Unless he missed his guess, she was having just as hard of a time seeing him this way as he was of being the husband with some major limitations and no recent memories.
From the time she had come into the ICU to see him the night of the accident, Bria had been aloof, and their conversations, what few they’d had, were awkward at best. Had the fact that he had been hurt caused her to think of him as being inept? Or had she been there to see the bull run him down and was still traumatized by witnessing the accident?
He tried to think, but like everything else that had happened recently, he couldn’t remember. “Bria, could you come here a minute?”
When she walked in from the kitchen, she looked absolutely beautiful. A few strands of auburn hair had escaped the confines of her ponytail and her cheeks were delightfully pink from the heat of cooking supper.
“Is everything all right?” she asked, a look of concern in her pretty green eyes.
“I’m fine.” He gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “I was just wondering if you were at the rodeo. Did you see what happened?”
She nodded. “You were … distracted when the bull got loose. But I thought your brothers told you all about that while I was in town this afternoon.”
“They did.” Frowning, he shook his head. “I just can’t believe I was that careless. I’m normally real cautious around the bulls and especially that brindle. He’s as mean as a rattlesnake. Do you know what had my attention just before the accident happened?”
“They didn’t tell you?”
“No.”
He watched her take a deep breath before she looked down at her tightly clasped hands.
“I had just arrived and you were watching me.”
“That doesn’t sound like me. I never let myself get distracted while I’m working with livestock.” He ran his hand over the tension building at the back of his neck. “And normally when you come to one of the rodeos, you get there well before the events start, not when they’re almost over. Why were you running so late?”
“You know how bad traffic can be on I-35.” She glanced over her shoulder into the kitchen. “I really need to check on the spaghetti.”
“We’ll talk about it over supper,” he said, nodding.
When Bria disappeared into the kitchen, he was more confused than ever. Why had he been watching her instead of what he had been doing? And why did she seem so nervous about it? Did she somehow feel responsible for the accident? Was she feeling guilty?
That didn’t make any sense. It was his fault he hadn’t been paying attention, not hers.
When a dull pain suddenly reverberated through his head, Sam groaned and shut his eyes. A vision of Bria standing on the front porch with tears streaming down her face immediately flashed behind his closed eyes, then in a matter of seconds it disappeared along with the headache.
His eyes snapped open. Could that have actually happened during the past several months? A knot formed in the pit of his stomach. In all their years together, he could never remember seeing Bria look so unhappy, so filled with sadness. What could have possibly caused her to look as if her heart was breaking?
Over the past year or two, she had let it be known on more than one occasion that she would like him to be home with her more. But of all their arguments about the time he spent out on the road with the rodeo company, he could never remember her being that miserable. Had things between them escalated to that point? Or had something else happened to cause her such heartache and he just couldn’t remember?
Lost in his disturbing thoughts, it took a moment for Sam to realize Bria was standing beside his chair with her hand on his arm. “Sam, are you all right?”
“I … uh, yeah,” he said, not sure if the image had been a fragment of recovered memory or his imagination working overtime. Taking her by the hand, he pulled her down to sit on his lap. “I’m fine.”
“This isn’t a good idea, Sam.” She placed her hand on his chest as if she intended to get up, then stopped abruptly. “Something is wrong. Your heart is racing.”
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he kissed the tip of her nose. “You know that always happens when I’m close to you, sweetheart.”
He didn’t want to ask her about the vision just yet. Just the thought of Bria actually experiencing that kind of emotional pain was gut-wrenching.
“Do you feel like coming into the kitchen for dinner or would you rather I bring a tray in here for you?” she asked, her gaze not quite meeting his.
“What’s wrong, Bria?” he asked. “And don’t tell me ‘nothing.’ I know you well enough to tell when something is bothering you.”
“I … guess I’m just worried,” she said slowly, as if choosing her words carefully.
Bringing his hand up, he gently brushed a strand of auburn hair from her soft cheek. “I’m here. My muscles are still a little sore, but I’m okay—we’re okay. And once I convince the doctor to release me to go back to work, everything will be back to normal.”
Lowering his head, he started to cover her mouth with his, but to his surprise she pulled away from him and stood up. “Of course, everything will go back to the way it was. Why wouldn’t it?” Her eyes sparkled with anger. “You’ll go back to traveling from one rodeo to another with the livestock and I’ll—” She stopped abruptly, took a deep breath, then to his utter bewilderment, she smiled. “I’ll be just fine. Now, do you feel like coming into the kitchen to eat or do you want me to bring your supper to you in here?”
Sam frowned. “Bria, what’s going on?”
He had never known her to switch gears quite that fast. If he didn’t know her better, he would swear she was trying to hide something from him. But that didn’t make any sense. Their relationship had always been based on honesty and sharing whatever
