Everything she’d grown up believing in was a sham.
She’d spent several painful years trying to live with her secret, allowing her parents to assume she remained clueless about the family’s ties to the mob, even as she’d watched her two brothers be slowly subsumed into “the life.” All she’d wanted to do was get out, get away and forget it all, starting her own life over somewhere else. And she had.
During finals of her junior year in college, she’d gotten word that both her father and her youngest brother, Gino—a gentle, sweet soul who hadn’t really belonged in that life—had been killed in a gangland slaying orchestrated by her Uncle Bruno, her father’s own brother. Jennie had vowed to do what she could. She’d gone to the FBI, and she’d offered them every bit of information she could in hopes Bruno would be punished for his crimes. In the end, all he’d ended up serving was seven years, and then he’d been paroled for “good” behavior. What a joke.
Jennie had entered the Relocation Program, where she’d changed her appearance, her life and her name. While they’d wanted to shuffle her off to the Midwest, she’d insisted on staying on the Eastern Seaboard, working for the government as a computer cartographer—a Graphic Information Systems specialist—who mapped organized crime activity. She believed wholeheartedly that her uncle would never look for her right under his nose. For some reason, all the guys thought everyone in Witness Protection headed to the heartland.
Here, she could also keep better tabs on them. She could devote her life to helping the authorities stop their activities for good. And that’s what her life was about—and at least she had a life, though it wasn’t perfect. But whose was? She saw people every day who had worse lives than she did, so she wasn’t about to complain.
Her thoughts wandered back to Nathan. How could she ever marry, or have children, knowing that it would all be a lie? How could she ever endanger their lives with her secrets?
Temporary affairs and light engagements—a man in her bed, but not in her life—was all she could look forward to. It had to be enough.
Sarah had no idea, and Jennie knew it made it difficult for her female friends to understand why she cut herself off from love and family. She let them think what they wanted. EJ and Ian were the only other people who knew, or who would ever know. They kept her secret safe. Sometimes it was a relief having someone who knew the truth, someone who could understand, even though she never discussed it.
She’d been living this kind of life for over a decade. Lately, she’d been yearning for more in a relationship. Between sex-only flings and marriage, there were all kinds of degrees of intimacy. She hoped she might find something in the middle with Nathan.
NATHAN STRODE OVER to his desk, sliding the laptop bag from his shoulder and onto the chair, then perused his appointment book and the stack of new files on his desk screaming for his attention. He’d let Jennie presume he hadn’t noticed her watching—but every covert brush of her gaze had touched him through the windows that separated them. Still, he couldn’t look her in the eye—not yet.
He turned his attention to a seminar he was giving later that week on protecting personal security information—it was astounding how many corporate breaches came down to someone being careless with a password. It was difficult, because part of his work was teaching people to be suspicious, to be conscious of how people might be manipulating them. For the HotWires, he functioned as a kind of “profiler” for techno-crimes.
On top of that, he had no fewer than two critical meetings today. The morning had completely gotten out of control, the new assignment that had just landed on his shoulders throwing him for a loop. After the unexpected meeting that had waylaid him on his way into the building, he hadn’t even known if he could show up at the office and act normally. But Internal Affairs insisted that he needed to keep a regular schedule, not arouse any suspicion. Nathan had to put the skills he studied in others—in criminals—into practice, and lie to everyone around him. It didn’t come naturally.
He was still processing what they’d told him, and he didn’t want Jennie to figure out that anything was wrong. She’d catch on, though, if he didn’t go say something. He never just walked by her, as he did this morning. He was acting out of character already, and he had to get a grip.
He went over to her, hoping he looked casual—normal—but the way his skin prickled and his body hardened just seeing how the soft waves of her dark brown hair rested on her slim shoulders told him he was in trouble. He valued his sense of cool—hard-won in a family filled with quick Irish tempers, but he felt anything but cool right now. One of his grandmother’s favorite sayings came to mind: If you dig a grave for others, you may fall in it yourself.
“Thanks a bunch, Nanna,” Nathan muttered under his breath.
He saw Sarah get up, grabbing a sheaf of papers from her desk before she walked over to him, glancing back at Jennie to see if she was looking. As she came closer, she swatted him hard with the rolled-up papers.
“What the heck are you doing, Junior Mint?”
Sarah was bestowing her best glare upon him, but he stood his ground, used to dealing with his four temperamental sisters. Sarah was a total ballbuster on a good day; when she was after you, look out. Usually Nathan was able to give as good as he got, and he knew that had earned him a measure of respect in Sarah’s eyes.
“Motherhood is obviously softening your temperament, Sarah.”
“Why did you just blow her off like that?”
“I didn’t blow anyone off, Lady Amazon,” he used the nickname which Sarah sometimes found charming, and sometimes she didn’t—this was one of the times she apparently didn’t. He sighed, planting his hands on his hips. “Besides, what do you know about me and Jen?”
The look she pinned him with clearly said idiot.
He grinned, pleased that apparently Jennie had been talking about him—it was the only way Sarah could know that he’d finally convinced Jennie to go out with him. He certainly hadn’t made an issue of his feelings within the workplace—at least, he prayed he hadn’t.
“I know enough.”
“Listen, I had a tough morning and I’m just getting myself together. It’s nothing to do with Jen. Give a guy a break, will ya?”
Sarah’s sharp blue eyes narrowed as if she was dissecting his every thought to see if he was being truthful. And of course, he wasn’t. But he wasn’t the only one in the office living a lie, either, was he? Everything had become such a frickin’ mess so quickly, but he had to get a handle on things, and fast. He didn’t manage to do that quickly enough, because Sarah seemed to pick up on his stress, laying a hand on his shoulder.
“You okay?”
He shrugged, piling on another lie. “Just some things at home. It’s okay, but it took some of my time this morning.”
“Family’s important, Nathan—if something’s wrong, you can ask Ian for a few days off. He’s great about that. Besides, there’s nothing major going on around here at the moment.”
If she only knew.
Hell, if Sarah knew what he was up to, she’d remove all of his limbs slowly and painfully, and then she’d reassemble them in different places. But he had to get her to back off. He shook his head, pretending to check over a memo left on his desk.
“I
