* *
Fury seeped through Nikos’s veins like poison, mixing with memories of the day his mother had walked away and left him. Serena’s words, although calmly said, screamed inside his head. What was she saying? What plans had she been making for their child whilst he’d been living in ignorance of its existence?
‘It still sounds very much as if you are considering giving my baby away.’ Incredulity made his tone sharper than a blade.
‘That is absurd.’
She met his accusation head-on, looking determined to do battle and defend herself. And he knew for certain that there could only be one reason. He’d exposed her plans before she’d had a chance to knock him sideways with the idea, but all it had done was make him ever more certain that he would be there for his child—not just now and again, but all the time.
‘You have more than implied it.’
He clenched his hands into tight fists, resisting the need to reach for her, to hold her arms and force her to look him in the eye and tell him the truth.
‘We can’t sort this out now—not when you are jumping to such outrageous conclusions.’
She looked at him tempestuously and her green eyes met his, but his usual accuracy in reading a person had deserted him. He couldn’t see lies or truth, but he did see something else in them. The same fiery passion he’d seen three months ago—which had been his undoing.
He stepped closer to her...so close he could smell the sweetness of her perfume. He battled with his memories of their time together as the scent of summer flowers invaded his senses, light and floral, evoking more memories he’d do better to bury. But he couldn’t. This woman, the only one who’d made him want more than a brief affair, was in reality no better than his mother. Worse, in fact. She wanted to abandon her child, and she expected him to do the same.
‘Nikos, we have to be practical. The baby will grow up in England—with me.’
Never. The word resounded in his head. Never.
He ignored the pleading edge to her voice, wondering if she thought he’d meekly accept that. Would she really be a mother to his child? Or had she planned all along to give her baby away?
His thoughts returned to his mother with unnerving clarity. Had she been being practical when she’d walked away? Had she given her six-year-old son a thought as she’d left, preferring to escape with her lover, to the bright city lights and her modelling career, instead of remaining on the island with the man she’d married?
Nikos tried to push back the demons that had haunted him since that day. The woman who’d given birth to him didn’t know him—just as he didn’t know her. He might have passed her on the streets of Athens, or any other city he’d visited for business, and not known. All he knew was that despite her attempts to contact him since he’d turned sixteen he’d written her out of his life.
He looked at Serena, the woman he might have loved if things had been different—if his past hadn’t convinced him he was incapable of love or being loved.
‘No.’
The word was fired harshly from him like a bullet and, precisely aimed, it found its mark. Serena’s eyes widened in surprise and those long lashes blinked rapidly in confusion. Did she have to be so beautiful? So compelling even in the heat of this war she’d waged?
‘You can’t just say no. We haven’t sorted anything.’
She looked beseechingly up at him, searching his face, and he took a deep breath as memories of kissing those soft lips avalanched over him. Did she know the effect she was having on him? Did she realise that right at this moment he couldn’t think past what they’d had, those passionate moments they’d shared in the summer?
The waves rushed to the shore with a normality that stunned him. Apparently they were not aware of the horrendous situation unfolding on the sand. The lights of the small town glowed like stars around them and he found his past colliding with the present, becoming inseparable.
‘How can I trust you not to abandon my child to your sister after what you said?’
His voice was an angry growl, and he fought hard against the rage of emotions that forged through him. All his life he’d carried the hurt of total rejection by the one woman who should have loved him unconditionally.
‘I’m not abandoning my child to anyone—not even to you.’
For a moment he thought he saw pain flash in her eyes, thought he saw the agony of it on her face, but it was gone in an instant. Hard lines of determination replaced it.
‘Telling me we can’t raise this child together after saying your sister is desperate for a baby sounds very much like you are planning just that.’
He moved back from her, not trusting the rage that had become like the rush of a river in flood. All the childhood doubts he’d successfully locked away were now out and running riot.
‘How can you even think of doing such a thing?’
‘How can you even think that?’ She gasped out the pained words. ‘I want this child. I want to give it everything I possibly can.’
The conviction in her voice struck a raw nerve. ‘As do I.’
‘Can you really give our child all it needs when you admit you don’t want to be a father?’
She moved towards him, her hand momentarily reaching out to him, but he flinched from her touch, his raw emotions making coherent thought difficult.
How could she doubt he would give his child all it needed? The idea of being a father was one that he had always savagely dismissed because it would entail marriage—something he’d proved he’d be unable to commit to—but now he was presented with the reality he knew exactly what he wanted.
‘A child needs love.’
Vehemently the words rushed from him, and he was annoyed at her ability to take away his composure, his control. He knew more than most that a child needed love. It was all he’d craved as a young boy. But could he be a father? Could he love his child? His father hadn’t been able to and his mother never had. She’d admitted that as she’d left. How could he be any different from them?
Serena laughed—a soft, nervous laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. He bit down hard, clenching his teeth, trying to stop harsh words rushing out.
‘Can you really do that, Nikos?’
His silence seemed to answer her question and she ploughed on with her own arguments for being a single parent.
‘Can you love a child you don’t want?’
‘Do not question my ability to be a father,’ he growled, hardly able to contain his anger.
‘A child needs stability, a loving home. It doesn’t matter if it’s with one parent or two, so long as it has all it needs.’
Strength sounded in her voice and her face was full of determination as she looked into his eyes, challenging him with everything she had.
‘I’ve
