back to the living room to wait for dinner.
The crisp, cold wine made the waiting easier to take. Heck, it even made thoughts of Nathan less…disturbing. What did it say about her, she wondered, that even when she was furious with the man, she still felt that buzz of something amazing?
Sad, sad Amanda.
In the years since she and Nathan had broken up, she hadn’t exactly lived like a nun. She’d had dates. Just not many. But how could she think about a future when the past kept rising up in her mind? It always came back to Nathan. When she met a man, she waited, hoping to feel that special zing she had only found with Nathan. And it was never there.
How could she possibly agree to marry someone else if Nathan was the one who made her body burn? Was she supposed to settle? Impossible. She wanted what she’d once had. She just wanted it with someone else.
Heck, she had known Nathan was there the minute he’d walked into the diner. She hadn’t had to see him. She’d felt his presence—like the electricity in the air just before a thunderstorm. And that first look into his eyes had jolted her so badly, it had been all she could do to lock her knees into place so she wouldn’t melt into an embarrassing puddle of goo.
No one else had ever done that to her.
Only him.
She took a sip of her wine and shook her head. “This is not a good sign, Amanda.”
It had been years since she’d seen him, touched him, and it might as well have been yesterday from the way her own body was reacting. Every cell inside her was jumping up and down, rolling out the red carpet and putting on a party hat.
But there weren’t going to be any parties. Not with Nathan, at any rate. She’d never get him out of her system if she let him back in.
Trying to distract herself from the hormonal rodeo going on inside her, she walked to one of the windows overlooking Main Street and looked out at Royal. Only a few cars on the road and almost no pedestrians. The silence was staggering. Streetlights dropped puddles of yellow light on the empty sidewalks and, above the town, a clear night sky displayed thousands of stars.
Life in a small town was vastly different than what she’d known the last few years living in Dallas. There, the city bustled with life all night. Shops and clubs and bars glittered with neon lights so bright, they blotted out the stars overhead. Tourists flocked to the city to spend their money, and the nightlife was as busy as the daytime crowds.
It had been so different from the way she’d grown up, such a distraction from the pain she was in—Amanda had really enjoyed city life. At first. But over time, she had become just another nameless person rushing through the crowds, going from work to an apartment and back again the next day. Nights were crowded with noise and people and the gradual realization that she wasn’t happy.
Her life had become centered around a job she didn’t really like and a nightlife she didn’t actually enjoy. She had a few friends and a few dates that always seemed to end badly—probably her own fault since she never had been able to meet a man without comparing him to Nathan. Pitiful, really, but there it was.
Then her father passed away and, a few months later, she got the call for help from Pam. Even knowing that she would have to eventually deal with Nathan again, Amanda had left the big city behind and rushed back home to Royal.
And she had slid back into life here as easily as if she’d never left. The truth was, she was really a small-town girl at heart.
She liked a town where nighttime brought quiet and families gathered together. She liked knowing that she was safe—without having to have two or three locks on her apartment door. And, right now, she liked knowing that she wouldn’t have to talk to anyone until at least tomorrow morning.
She could have stayed at her family home, where Pam was living. But Amanda had become accustomed to having her own space. Besides, as evidenced by her sister’s behavior today, just because Pam had needed her help didn’t mean that she wanted Amanda around. She’d never been close with her sister and, so far, that situation looked as though it wasn’t going to change any.
She took another sip of her wine and let that thought, along with all the thoughts of Nathan, slide from her mind. She wasn’t going to solve everything in one night, so why drive herself nuts?
Her gaze slid to the darkened sheriff’s office. No one was there, of course. In a town the size of Royal, you didn’t need an on-duty police presence twenty-four hours a day. Besides, Nathan and his deputy were only a phone call away.
She wondered if Nathan still lived out on his family’s ranch, the Battlelands. Then she reminded herself firmly it was none of her business where Nathan lived.
“Thinking about him is not the way to stop thinking about him,” she told herself aloud.
The scent of melting cheese and roasting potatoes was beginning to fill the air and her stomach rumbled. Apparently she was hungrier than she had thought.
When the knock sounded on her door, she was more surprised than anything else. She took a step forward, then stopped, staring at the door leading to the outside staircase at the side of the diner. A ripple of something familiar sneaked across her skin and she took a gulp of her wine to ease the sensation. Didn’t really help. But then, nothing could. Because she knew who was knocking on her door.
When she was steady enough, she walked to the door and asked unnecessarily, “Who is it?”
“It’s me, Amanda.” It was Nathan’s voice, low and commanding. “Open up.”
Wow. Skitters of expectation jolted through her. Amazing that just his voice could do that to her. After all these years, he could still stir her up without even trying.
She put one hand flat against the door and she could have sworn that she actually felt heat sliding through the wood. She took a breath, smoothed out her voice and tried to do the same for her racing heart. It didn’t work.
“What do you want, Nathan?” she asked, leaning her forehead against the door panel.
“What I want is to not be standing out here talking through a door where anyone in Royal can see me.”
Not that there were a lot of people out there at night. But all it would take was one busybody happening to glance up and word would fly all over town. Nathan was at Amanda’s doorstep last night!
Okay, she thought, straightening, good motivation for opening the door. So she did.
Under the porch light, his brown hair looked lighter, his shoulders looked broader and his eyes…too shadowed to read. But then, she thought, it wasn’t difficult to guess what he was thinking, feeling. His stance was stiff, his jaw tight. He looked as though he’d rather be anywhere but there.
Well, fine. She hadn’t invited him, had she? “What is it, Nathan?”
He scowled at her and stepped inside.
“Please,” she said, sarcasm dripping as she closed the door against the hot, humid air, “come in.”
“We have to talk,” he said, striding across the room before turning to face her. “And damned if I’m going to do it in the diner with everyone in town
