ring’s next.’ Immie tears at the short spikes of her hair. ‘And then there’s the whole nightmare of what to wear.’ She grabs her throat and makes a strangled scream.
I bite back a smile. ‘That bad?’
‘Oh yes.’ She nods. ‘I’m definitely leaving dress shopping until July. At the earliest.’
Poppy rolls her eyes at that, but she’s flapping her hands and looking like she’s about to burst. ‘Which reminds me Immie, something huge happened. I wanted to tell you earlier, but I couldn’t find you. Nicole turned up at the shop today.’
Immie’s eyes go wide. ‘Blazing toad bollocks, you are joking?’
‘Nope.’ Poppy turns to me. ‘I didn’t dare tell you when she was there, but Nicole is Chas’s ex. That’s why I knocked her back with her booking.’
So that explains a lot. ‘Not the Bridezilla to end all Bridezillas?’ Which is how she’s always been referred to, hence me completely missing the significance of who she is. I’m in awe that I spent four hours placating her and came out the other side alive.
‘That’s the one.’ Poppy’s groan is heartfelt. ‘She was barely warming up today. Demanding and unreasonable doesn’t begin to cover it. However desperate we are, I couldn’t take her booking and go through all that again.’
Immie’s face is all screwed up. ‘She’s getting married?’ For once her husky voice has turned to a squeal.
‘To a James Bond look-alikey, after a Valentine’s proposal. And she was in to choose a dress.’
Immie’s clenching her fists. ‘Not Sean Connery? I refuse to let the Franken-bride who wrecked my fiancé marry him.’
Poppy’s got her soothing voice on. ‘Keep your hair on, he’s more Pierce than Sean. But getting engaged on the same day as you and Chas? You couldn’t make it up, could you?’ Poppy bites her lip as she hesitates. When she speaks, her tone has changed from soft to firm. ‘But this doesn’t need to change anything for you, Immie. Chas loves you for yourself.’
Immie changed the habits of a lifetime to go the extra mile for Chas, not that he ever asked her to. But she’d never dallied with make up or heels before last summer. You only have to look at her tottering along in those wellies to see the effort she’s put in.
I pick up where Poppy’s coming from, as well as her wild-eyed calls for back-up. ‘It’s you he wants to marry, Immie. Definitely you. You as you are. Not looking like anyone else.’
‘Right.’ Immie’s nostrils are flaring. ‘Ring Brides by the Sea, please. I need an appointment. Now.’
‘But it’s fine to do things your way, Immie.’ I say. ‘Whatever happened to dress shopping in July?’
Immie’s straight back at me. ‘Stuff that. I need to get on the case.’ Her eyes narrow, and her voice drops. ‘What kind of dress is Nicole having?’
Shit. At Brides by the Sea we’re always discreet. And what if there’s a new, upgraded confidentiality code I don’t know about? ‘She was mainly looking in Sera’s room,’ I say airily. Hopefully that gives Immie the information she wants, without breaking any rules.
‘Great.’ Her fists are on her hips again. ‘That’s where I’ll have my appointment then. Soon as you can, please. But make it a day when you’re both there to help.’ She blows out her cheeks. ‘You might need to tie me down. I’m already hyperventilating.’
I have a feeling she’s not kidding. They had their hands full trying to get her into even a bridesmaid’s dress for our friend Cate’s wedding last summer, which I missed because I couldn’t get time off from the hotel in the summer season.
I remember there’s a final piece of icing on today’s cake. ‘And Poppy sent Nicole to see Rose Hill Manor, along with her compliments.’
‘Nice move.’ Immie’s frown melts to a chortle. ‘Those Penryns are a laugh in a bar. But they’re as likely to deliver on weddings as fly to the moon. That Quinn was like a bull in a china shop when he was best man at Sera’s sister’s wedding at Christmas.’
I can’t help grinning. ‘When picky Nicole hits Kip, he’ll run for the hills. She’s the perfect weapon to see off the opposition, Poppy.’
Even as I’m laughing I’m aware the joke may yet come back to bite me. As Nicole’s stylist, I might not be smiling so much if I end up in the middle of them.
Saturday, 25th Feb
On the way to Rose Hill Manor: Sitting ducks and farmers on safari
‘I’m so excited to see the Manor. But really, I could have driven there myself.’
It’s no secret I’ve been dying for Saturday to arrive to get a sneak peek inside. You have no idea how often I’ve been pouring over the pictures of Sera’s sister’s wedding on Jules-the-photographer’s website. And how scared shitless I am by the size of the place, and the thought of styling a wedding. If Nicole does decide to have her wedding here, it’ll be a huge responsibility for me. It’s all very well Jess saying she knows I have the eye and the talent. I’m just not that confident I’ll be able to deliver.
I’m definitely not stinting on the ‘happy daughter’ effort this morning. But as I clamber into the back of David’s sporty MPV at Heavenly Heights, I’m regretting it on so many levels. And it’s not just the close-up view of my mum putting her hand on David’s knee as she picks invisible fluff out of his designer stubble. When she leans in for the ear nuzzle she assumes I can’t see, I actually get sick in my mouth.
‘So have you made a start on growing my bouquet yet, Lily?’ It takes a talker like my mum to fire questions through a mouthful of earlobe. She’s peering past the head rest at me. ‘Why the blank stare? Catch up.’
From where I’m scrunched up on the black leather upholstery in the back seat the PDAs are barely two feet away. Worse, she can put me on the spot about her ridiculous wedding flower plans. Which incidentally, I’m having no part of.
‘I thought that was a gimmick to get on the radio,’ I say. ‘Like saying you do online dating, when you don’t even know what the internet is.’ My mum doesn’t have the first clue how to open a laptop, let alone use one.
There’s an amused smile playing around her lips. ‘I’ll have you know, Jenny and I are entirely computer literate.’ At least it’s taken her mind off horticulture.
My squawk is high with disbelief. ‘Since when?’
‘Since we joined our U3A Access course last year. It’s Thursdays after Aqua-fit. Once we’d Googled Lonely Hearts, we took to Safari like ducks to water.’ She gives a toss of her head. ‘David and I are Cornish Casual Computer Couples’ fifth engagement in a year.’
So that’s told me, but my voice is still a squeak. ‘Aqua-fit? But you hate to swim.’
