are you thinking what I am?’ My eyes lock onto Poppy and Jess’s. It suddenly occurs to me that I did once meet a David on the stairs at my mum’s house, changing a light bulb. ‘It can’t be my mother …?’ Can it?
Poppy’s face is scrunched in confusion. ‘I didn’t know your mum had a boyfriend?’
‘Me neither.’ I’m shaking my head and my stomach’s turned to stone. ‘But, shit, if she’s on Pirate Radio getting proposed to, she must have.’
Barbara – or rather my mum – sounds even more up-beat than usual.
‘I can’t possibly imagine why David’s brought me to the beautiful Mediterranean dome … on Valentine’s Day …’ Her voice is loud, yet breathy. Even on the radio, I can tell she’s ready to burst. Although you can excuse her for being excited. It’s completely obvious she knows what’s about to happen.
Poppy’s hand flies over her open mouth. ‘Oh shit, it really is her, Lily.’ As she listens her puzzled expression softens. ‘It’s like something off Married at First Sight. I can’t believe she’s about to get proposed to.’
‘Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.’ I jam my hands over my ears, because this is so many kinds of wrong. I don’t want to hear someone asking my mum to marry them. My mum doesn’t want to get married, she isn’t even over my dad dying yet. Somewhere along the line my thoughts start rushing out of my mouth. ‘And why the hell are they at the Eden Project? My mum’s the least green person on the planet. She hates gardening, she never recycles. As far as she’s concerned ecology’s a virus that gives you the runs. Please tell me this isn’t real …’
Poppy tugs at my sleeve. ‘It’s over now, you can unblock your ears.’
I shut my eyes tightly and tell myself to breathe. ‘How did he sound?’ My voice is a croak.
Poppy’s treading carefully here. ‘Nervous …’
I open my eyes a crack. ‘She said “yes” didn’t she?’ As if she’d have said anything else.
Poppy nods, although given the background clapping is deafening, I hardly need ask. There’s a few more whoops from the radio, then my mum’s coming through again, loud and clear.
‘A huge thank you to Pirate Radio and everyone here at Eden Valley. David and I are completely delighted, we’ll be having a summer wedding, and I promise we’ll be doing all our shopping at Brides by the Sea …’
I’m biting back my pangs at how word perfect she is.
‘A summer wedding?’ This is typical Jess, latching on to the practicalities. ‘They’ll need to get a move on to pull that one off.’
‘Unbelievable. Completely unbelievable.’ It comes out sounding a lot meaner than I intend, but if your mum springs something like this on you, it’s hard not to feel left out.
Poppy raises her eyebrows, and sighs. ‘Give yourself time, Lily, it might not seem so bad when you’re used to it.’
I know Poppy’s only being helpful. But getting used to it is something else.
‘I’m very happy for her.’ I force out the words, even though I’m not sure I am. Actually, I don’t know what to think.
Jess is tugging at her scarf. ‘This is definitely a wake-up call. We need to consider older brides. I can’t think how we’ve overlooked them before.’ Then she leaps up, grabs the prosecco bottle, fills my glass to overflowing, and hands it back to me. ‘Drink that, it’ll help with the shock. I’ll go and get the gin.’
As I inhale a huge slug of fizz, the DJ’s working the moment for all he’s worth. ‘So Barbara and David, what’s next for you?’
And my mum’s off again. Gushing doesn’t begin to cover it. ‘All the beautiful flowers in the dome here remind me that I was offered a free bouquet, but my daughter will be growing the flowers for mine, so any one else wanting lovely wedding flowers should get in touch too, she’ll have plenty for everyone …’
What? I can’t believe what I’m hearing. If she carries on like this they’ll have to fade her out. Which luckily for me, they do. I’ve never been more relieved to reach an ad break. As for which daughter is going to grow her wedding flowers, it isn’t like she’s got another. I’m her only one.
And almost as if the last three minutes never happened, we’re back with the maddeningly up-beat DJ, who obviously has no idea his bloody radio station just turned my whole world upside down.
‘And we’re moving on with T-rex and Hot Love. Because our next Pirate Radio proposal will be coming from … the fire station in St Aidan.’
‘Yay! Go Immie.’ Poppy whoops, and punches the air. But by the time she meets my eye, her worried look’s back. ‘At least Chas let us in on this. One unexpected proposal in a day is quite enough for anyone.’
She’s right about that. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to face a coconut truffle again. But what do they say about every cloud? The engagement excitement might eclipse the fact that my own life is in free fall. And after hearing my mother agree to marry a boyfriend I didn’t know existed, Sam’s Valentine’s wedding party is going to be a piece of cake.
Tuesday, 14th February
The Goose and Duck: Pond life and matching cushions
‘I can’t believe the party’s going so fast, it’s eleven already,’ I say, as Jess, Poppy and I grab an empty table, and put down our tray of colourful drinks. ‘What’s more, apart from my killing feet, I’m having a fab time.’ Given my heels are at least four inches too ambitious, it’s bliss to sink into a chair and kick off my shoes.
Poppy laughs. ‘Hey Lily, you match the cushions.’
I glance down at the checked upholstery. ‘If I’d remembered the Goose and Duck’s wall-to-wall taupe make-over, I might have worn something else.’ Although, unlike my mum, who revels in day-glow chrysanthemum prints, I’m happiest blending into the background.
Jess is slurping her electric blue drink with gusto. ‘It’s been non-stop fun. Supper, speeches, cake cutting, first dance. And now romantic drinks. You have to love a cocktail called Scarlett O’Hara.’ Although she’s possibly losing track. She’s rattling through the drinks list so fast she’s currently throwing down Sex on the Driveway.
Behind us the room is buzzing, full of Sam and Sam’s friends and family, who we mostly know because they’re from the village.
‘Look at that.’ Jess nods indulgently through a gap in the crowd towards the snug, where Immie is being twirled around on her high heeled Doc Martens by new fiancé, Chas, watched proudly by Immie’s son, Morgan. ‘They’re doing so well not to upstage the bride and groom.’ She’s right. Immie’s I’m going to marry a fireman T-shirt is perfect. Understated, yet says it all. If Chas is choosing engagement gifts like that, she’s found herself a gem there. Although we
