didn’t end well. He was the love of my life. I thought we’d get married and…” Amy’s voice caught and she swallowed down the lump in her throat before continuing. “He dumped me, without any warning. We were getting on really well, there were no warning signs, nothing. It was a horrible shock and I um, didn’t take it very well.”
Big understatement.
She opened her mouth but no words came out. How could she describe how depressed she’d felt when Josh had left for his job in Saudi? Then she’d got the news about Grandad’s heart attack from mum. She’d been so close to him growing up and she’d not even got the chance to say goodbye.
No warnings, just gone.
She’d slid into a horrific black hole the GP had diagnosed as clinical depression, once her mum had frogmarched her to the surgery. It was very common, the matter of fact doctor had briskly told her as she handed over a prescription for anti-depressants.
As though tablets could’ve brought either Josh or Grandad back.
As it was, the tablets seemed to increase the fog in her brain. She cried less but she no longer felt like herself.
She didn’t feel up to talking about the long months of depression, the aborted teacher-training course and the worried parents. Would they even understand, or were they from the ‘pull yourself together’ school of thought?
Anyway, she’d moved on from all that.
Josh didn’t check on me once. He moved abroad and never looked back.
Stirrings of the old anger at his unrelenting silence simmered inside her, threatening to come to the boil. It hadn’t helped that he hadn’t been there to talk about Grandad. Josh had been her best friend as well as her boyfriend. They talked about everything. How did you just turn that off? Did it mean those years had never really meant anything?
Her eyes hurt from holding back the tears. Anger and pain mingling to create a deadly mixture that ate away at her insides.
For a moment, there was silence in the room but Amy didn’t trust herself to fill it.
“The bastard,” Tash proclaimed. “So, it’s time for revenge.”
“Revenge? I don’t know…” Amy wriggled uncomfortably in her bed. “I was thinking more along the lines of running away.”
An indignant chorus filled the room.
“You can’t run away. What are you, woman or wimp?” Tash asked.
Um, I’m a wimp probably. If I’m being honest.
“Woman,” Amy replied reluctantly when it became obvious Tash expected an answer.
“This guy broke your heart, right?” Tash’s sharp features looked fierce in the moonlight, like an alley cat about to pounce. “He trampled all over your emotions. Led you on and then dumped you.”
“Well yes, I suppose so,” Amy admitted, fighting the surging waves of emotion pressing against her eyelids.
I won’t cry.
If she did, Tash would probably disown her for crimes against feminism. But could she ever forgive Josh for leaving her to deal with her first bereavement alone? For just switching their relationship off as though it meant nothing?
He had pulled the plug and watched the light and power fade out of her life and then he’s walked away.
That had felt like a bereavement too. That too had been a shock, the strike of lightning from a clear blue sky.
Amy curled up on the bunk, drawing her knees up against her chest.
“So, you get revenge and you get the upper hand.” Tash cut into her thoughts, warming to her theme. “We can put chilli in his food and itching powder on his sheets.”
“You’ll get her fired,” Amelia broke in, scornfully. “The best way to get revenge is to show him what he’s missing and can never have again. Look gorgeous, flirt with his friends but be offhand and distant with him. Show him you are so over him. It will drive him insane. Trust me. And if he tries to get your attention, which trust me, he will, you blank him. That’s the best revenge of all.”
“That sounds kind of tempting. What do you think Sophie?” Amy asked.
“Do whatever you need to do to feel okay, sweetheart. You certainly can’t hide in your room all Christmas and it’s not fair on Scott and Holly to run away at their busiest time of the year.” Sophie’s voice was softer, kinder than the others. Amy trusted her advice.
“I suppose you’re right,” Amy sighed. Holly had been really good to her and why should Josh get to ruin her plans yet again? She could just imagine her parents’ anxious expressions if they heard she’d thrown her job in, and even worse if they found out it’d been because of Josh.
She couldn’t do that to them. She couldn’t do it to herself.
“Getting revenge will make you feel much better, trust me,” Tash said, yawning. And then maybe you won’t dream about him and wake us all up.”
“I’d certainly hate to be your enemy Tash,” Sophie laughed and turned over, making her bunk creak. “Now before we have the guy hung, drawn and quartered shall we all try and get some sleep?”
Amy listened to the rustling of bed clothes and tried to process everything – Josh turning up, the dream, the girls’ advice… her head hurt with the effort of repressing the newly awoken emotions. Not to mention the carnal stirrings provoked by the dream and welcomed by her traitorous body.
She’d done such a good job of burying her desires, of picking herself up off the floor and getting on with life. It was gutting that by simply turning up, in one swift move Josh had brought all the balls she worked so hard to keep in the air crashing down to the ground, along with Tash’s lemon drizzle cake.
She couldn’t be a victim. Taking control of the situation was the way to go. He hadn’t sought her out to speak to her since he’d arrived, had he? Was he worried she might make a scene? Perhaps he was horrified and wondering how he would avoid her all holiday.
She’d give him a scene all right – but not the kind he might expect.
This time she’d be totally in control and she’d show him an Amy who was over him and doing damn well, thank you. Maybe she would flirt with his friends, and show him what he’d missed out on. She could wear that bikini Tash had talked her into buying to wear in the Jacuzzi.
Time to woman up and go on the offensive.
“Amy, can I have a word?” Josh hovered behind Amy in the kitchen. He still couldn’t believe it was really her - Amy. In his chalet. After all the effort he’d made to try to get in touch and now she simply turned up.
And the timing
