Nothing could have saved it, Anne. But to get into a postmortem with her at this stage would be futile.
“Your penthouse isn’t suited to having a baby there, but somehow you insisted on Erica living there with you so you could be close to your work. She needed a real home where she could entertain.”
His temper flared again, but he managed to keep it contained. “She made it into a place where she could invite her friends after the opera and the ballet. I offered to buy Sedgewick Manor in the Hamptons for her, but she preferred to stay with you because she said it suited her better. Jamie and I will manage.”
Nick didn’t know how yet, but he’d figure it out. He kissed the baby’s silky head. “Thank the nurse for the notes. I’m sure I’ll need to refer to them until I get used to the routine.”
She kept her hands tightly clasped in her lap. “The nurse said he’ll be ready for another bottle when he goes down for his nap at noon.”
“That’s good to know. We’ll be back at the apartment by then.” Hopefully at that point Nick would have heard from Leah Tribe about the new nanny.
“See you next Saturday. Remember you can call anytime.”
Nick turned and walked through the house with his son, still disbelieving this day had come and he was leaving the whole dreadful past behind. It was like tearing off a straitjacket.
When Paul saw him, he got out of the limo. Together they put Jamie in his new car seat. Nick could have done it without Paul’s help, but he was grateful for it because it would probably have taken Nick half a dozen tries to get the confounded thing right.
The older man studied his tiny features for a minute. “I see a lot of you in him, Nick. He’s a fine-looking boy.”
“Blame that on his mother.”
Paul patted his shoulder. “I’ll drive carefully.”
“I’m not worried.”
He put the diaper bag on the opposite seat, then sat next to Jamie and fastened his own seat belt. As they started down the driveway, he looked around but only saw the closed front door of Hirst Hollow. It symbolized a closed life because both sets of parents had been emotionally unavailable.
You should have done this sooner, Wainwright.
But it was too late for more regrets. He needed to let the past go and concentrate on Jamie. When he looked down, he caught the baby staring at him.
Nick smiled and put out his hand so he’d grab it. His little fingers took hold with surprising strength. No tears yet. They hadn’t been gone long enough for Jamie to miss the familiar faces of his nurse and grandparents.
He fought down the anger generated by his own lack of action up to now. Mired in guilt, he’d been slow to pull himself out of a depression that had its inception long before Erica’s death. His estrangement from her had been one thing, but to realize his son barely knew him twisted his gut.
A chance remark by a client last week had wakened him out of his morose stupor. “With your wife gone, that new baby of yours must be a real joy to you. There’s nothing like a child to make the pain go away.” The comment made him realize he could be a good father.
Once his client had left the office, Nick had got on the phone to his attorney and let him know he planned to bring Jamie home where he belonged. After setting things in motion, he’d called in Leah to help him start looking for a nanny.
Nick studied the little scrap of humanity strapped in the infant seat next to him. Jamie was his son. Flesh of his flesh. It pained him he’d waited this long to go get him. Emotion grabbed him by the throat.
“I know this is a brand-new experience for you, sport. It is for me, too. You have no idea. I’m more the baby than you are right now and frankly, I’m terrified. You’re going to help me out, aren’t you?”
For answer, Jamie gave him a big yawn. A laugh escaped Nick’s throat. He’d never been responsible for anyone before. Except that wasn’t exactly true. When he’d taken on a wife, he’d promised to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death do us part.
He sucked in his breath. He’d only done the for-richer part right. But now that he had Jamie, he realized he’d been given a second chance and planned to do all of it right.
Nick had come along late in life, his parents’ only child. No siblings to play with. They hadn’t allowed him a pet because both his parents didn’t want to deal with one. It was too hard, they said, when they went on vacation.
He had two cousins, Hannah and Greg, the children of his father’s oldest brother. They rarely played together. It wasn’t until after he and Greg were taken into the firm that he got to know him better. In Nick’s loneliness growing up, he could see why he’d turned to books. Over time he’d found solace in his studies and work.
Erica had been a socialite wife like her mother, like Nick’s. One eternal round of beautiful people enjoying their financially comfortable, beautiful lives. Not until Nick was part of the firm did his own father take an interest in him because he had a head for finances. But by then the damage had been done. They didn’t have that emotional connection he’d hungered for from childhood.
He caught Jamie’s busy feet with one hand and squeezed gently before letting them go again. Nick would be damned if he let the same thing happen to him and his son. Unfortunately two and a half months had already slipped by. Precious time that couldn’t be recovered.
While they drove on, he opened the diaper bag and pulled out the instructions. Besides sending along some supplies, the nurse had left exact notes on her routine with Jamie, how much formula he needed, how often, nap times, that kind of thing.
He’d already arranged for the department store to deliver a crib and a new infant car seat that had come yesterday. As he thought over the list of things still to be done, his cell phone rang. Glad to see it was his secretary, he answered.
“Leah? Any success yet?”
“I’ve found someone I believe will suit you and the baby.”
A Mary Poppins type only existed on film. “As long as she likes children and is a real motherly type and not some cardboard creation, I bow to your wisdom.”
“I’ll let you be the judge. She knows she hasn’t been hired yet. I told her a limo would be by to pick her up at one o’clock so you could meet her and make a final decision.”
“She can start today?”
“Yes. She needs a job badly.”
Excellent. “What’s her name?”
“Reese Chamberlain.”
“Tell me more about her.”
“If you don’t mind, Nick, I’ve decided to take a leaf out of your book. You once told me you prefer to attack a new project without listening to any other voices first while you formed your own opinion. I think that’s a good philosophy, especially in this case. She’ll be standing in front of the Chelsea Star Hotel on West 30th.”
Ms.
