Collins Taak of the Toon: How to Speak Geordie. Sid Waddell
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aalreet adverb, adjective all right Compare reet
I can hear yee aalreet but my lugs are not reet aalreet. Aalreet? TRANSLATION: I am at odds with you, myself and the entire world. OK?
afore adverb, preposition, conjugation before
Afore oppenin yer gob, use yer noddle. TRANSLATION: Engage brain before speaking.
agyen adverb again
ahad noun 1 a hold | adjective, adverb 2 on fire [From Geordie pronunciation of hold]
Tyek ahad of me hand and ah’ll lead yer to the land of your dreams. TRANSLATION: Come with me to the deeper parts of Jesmond Dene.
Ah’ve hoyed matches and paraffin on this bliddy fire but it winnit tyek ahad. TRANSLATION: We have to put on woollies because I cannot get the fire to light.
aheyt adverb, adjective in the air [Probably from Geordie pronunciation of height]
In pitch and toss yee hoy two coins up aheyt and cross yer fingers. TRANSLATION: Gambling is not a reliable form of occupation.
ahint preposition, adverb behind [From Old English aethindan]
amang preposition among
Aladdin must have been reet dim to faal amang them gadgies. TRANSLATION: Aah the innocence of youth.
argie verb to argue
Yee would argie yer way through the Hobs of Hell. TRANSLATION: Your disputative nature will bring you to a very sad end.
arly adjective early
arn verb to earn
atween preposition between
Ah feel ah’m atween a rock and a hard place. TRANSLATION: The wife and the mother-in-law are in cahoots against me.
aye1 sentence substitute yes [Old English a always]. Compare aye2
aye2 adverb always; ever [Old Norse ei ever]
Yer aye deein that! TRANSLATION: Why not try to introduce some variety into proceedings?
ayont preposition beyond
Hey bonny lad, that’s weel ayont a joke. TRANSLATION: Your attempt to flatter me with humour is an insult.
Despite the violent sounding gutturals, glottal stops and in-yer-face delivery of us Geordies, we are a hospitable tribe, ever ready to welcome lads and lasses who come smoking the pipe of peace. Travellers will be greeted with the traditional warming cry: ‘Gittheroondin kidda!’1
So, before pointing your painted pony at our heartlands, here are a few key words and expressions to ease your entry into Geordie society.
I will dramatise your first few likely encounters with the locals: first, you alight for your weekend at Newcastle Central Station and wish to leave your luggage so you can begin staggering or henning right off. I suggest you approach the person on the pasty stall thus: ‘Heypet cannahoymebagahinttheor?’2
Almost certainly the answer will be: ‘Naebotheratallcaacanny.’3 If it’s Saturday you will be surrounded by hundreds of human zebras – Toon fans proudly strutting in their black and white tops. Approach them boldly with a cheesy grin and say: ‘Hoozit gannagan athgyemthiday bonnyladz?’4
Once they see you are not a Mackem spy they will lead you willingly to their favourite watering holes with this encouraging cry: ‘Howay alang wiusforrabevvy.’5
Once in the Strawberry or the Bacchus, both decked out with photos of United legends, they will ask, ‘Reet marra deeyeewant broon or ex?’, refining the idea possibly thus, ‘Offtheneck – orbyglass, streyt or kinky?’6
I would advise that after a few pints you seek food. Approach the barmaid and say, ‘Ahmscrannyhevyeeanystotties?’7 She might reply like this, ‘Areyeesum radgie gadgie? nee mebbesabootit…wees hoachin withem.’8
When the food appears, thank her profusely and tip her. ‘Ta petgit yersella pint when yeetek yer blaa.’9
Having satisfied the inner man or woman you may now proceed bravely and merrily among the locals.
Glossary
1 ‘Buy the beers and you’ve got mates for life.’
2 ‘Pardon me, friendly-looking person, but may I deposit my luggage on your premises?’
3 ‘My pleasure, have a nice day’.
4 ‘Are you confident of a Newcastle victory in today’s soccer contest?’
5 ‘Join us for a libation or several.’
6 ‘Righto, pal, are you drinking Brown Ale or Exhibition? If you need a glass do you want a sleeve or a handle?’