the taste” is “I don’t drink for the taste” or maybe even “I don’t like the taste.” Now it’s your turn to come up with as many ways as you can that the turnaround is true in your life.
It’s Not What You Give Up, But What You GAIN
One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up, instead of what they have to gain.
—RICK GODWIN
As a participant in this experiment, you’re obviously giving something up. You’re giving up alcohol for 30 days. But there are two ways to look at it. You could focus on how hard it’s going to be and all the things you’re going to have to give up and go without. Or you could think about all the amazing insights and experiences you’re going to gain as a result of the experiment.
We all undoubtedly control our destinies through our expectations. In other words, we get what we expect. If we expect this experiment to be miserable, then that is what we’re going to get. And so to make this a more pleasant experience, we have to change our thinking. We have to expect to go into this and experience 30 days of amazing epiphanies, better health, higher energy levels, and systematic shifts in our thinking. How do we do it? We decide to focus on the positive. It’s that simple. You might feel weird at first focusing on all the good things that are going to happen, especially if you’re skeptical that they will happen. But when you shift your thinking to what you will gain, the good things will come. They truly will.
For me, I lost 13 pounds in the first 30 days. My marriage has never been better, and I’ve finally started doing all the things I’d wanted to do for years and years. Things alcohol kept me from doing, such as starting a business, writing a book, creating a mindfulness practice, and building a strong family life. I’ve become much happier socially because I’m never worried about what I said the night before. I’ve become much more successful. I think I look significantly better—my eyes are clearer, my hair is thicker. But these are my stories. What about other people who’ve gone through the 30-day experiment? What have they gained? Here’s a short list from other Alcohol Experiment participants:
• Clearheaded mornings
• Better health
• Less anxiety
• True relaxation
• Better relationships
• Self-love
• Happier family life
• Freedom to fully participate in life
So how, exactly, do you focus on the positive? The easiest way to do it is to pay attention to your language, the words coming out of your mouth. Saying something like “I can’t drink” is pretty negative. It sends all the wrong messages to your subconscious because it leaves you feeling deprived and thinking about something you can’t do. On the other hand, saying “I’m going to enjoy drinking an iced tea tonight” or “I really love this lemonade” is saying the same thing in a different way. You’re telling yourself you’re not going to drink alcohol, but you’re doing it in a positive way. And you’re giving your subconscious the message that you’re going to enjoy what you’re going to do instead of that you’re deprived or you can’t.
Saying “I’m giving up alcohol for the month” also sends a negative message to your subconscious. But saying “I’m experimenting to see how much better I feel” is totally different. Positive phrasing sends all the right messages and will help you be more successful. So start to be mindful and conscious of how you talk to yourself.
You don’t have to do this experiment. You get to do it. You have the opportunity to do this. You are excited to do this. You are choosing to participate. Recognize your old, disempowering, words around alcohol and replace them with new, empowering, words. This is important. The brain loves anything that gets you out of pain and into pleasure. It loves that shift both consciously and subconsciously, so choose the words you want to use. When you start consciously choosing your words, you’ll even start to get a little buzz, especially if you reinforce your statements afterward. If you say, “I’m going to enjoy some iced tea tonight,” reinforce it by actually feeling it. “Wow, I did enjoy that iced tea tonight!” The brain will latch on to the experience and repeat it more easily the next time.
Labeling
Another type of language you’ll want to pay attention to is how you’re labeling yourself and others. There’s a ton of research showing how labels can limit your experience. When we put a label on something, we create a corresponding emotion based on our beliefs and experiences. That’s especially true when we label ourselves and say we’re depressed or we’re alcoholics. It’s true that we might be suffering, but by labeling ourselves that we are those things, we ingrain the negative feelings and end up believing them subconsciously.
It might take a little while to start catching yourself focusing on the negative or unnecessarily labeling yourself, so keep at it. If you catch yourself once a day, it’s a great start. Over time you’ll get better and better at it, and you’ll develop ways to reprogram your language and be more positive naturally. Don’t be surprised if people start noticing and telling you how much happier and upbeat you seem. That’s because you are happier and upbeat when you expect to be and use language to reinforce the idea.
The Power of Positive
Staying positive is one amazing tool you can use to stay alcohol-free for the next few weeks, and beyond if you choose. Positive thinking and believing in yourself are helpful, but I’m also talking about how you use words in sentences. Psychologists have studied how our brains process negative statements and found that the way a sentence is constructed affects brain activity. Negative constructions can cause higher levels of activity, which means we have to think harder.
Let’s keep this easy, okay? If we don’t have to think hard about drinking, the experiment will be less stressful.
So, say someone asks you, “Would you like a drink?”
You could answer in the negative: “No, thanks. I’m not drinking tonight.”
Or you could answer in the positive: “Yes! I’d love a club soda with lime.”
By speaking with positive statements, your subconscious mind isn’t triggered into activity. It’s happy. It believes you enjoy drinking, and so you’re enjoying a drink. It just happens to be a nonalcoholic drink this time.
How We Talk Changes Our Experiences
Furthermore, according to Albert Ellis, one of the fathers of modern psychology, how we talk
