night. You in my arms. Long, slow hot kisses, people who care, Switzerland, the ranch. What do you like?” he asked in a lazy voice while he languidly drew his fingers over her hip.
“Tonight, too. Being with you. Little children. Books.” She ran her finger along his jaw that had a faint trace of stubble now. “What do you want out of life?”
“Ahh, that’s an easier question. I want a family, a woman who is my best friend and lover. I want to do some good for people, to settle on the ranch—”
“You want to live here on your ranch?” she asked, interrupting him and surprised by his answer.
“Sure. I grew up on the ranch and love it. I want some more years in the diplomatic service, but then I want to come home to ranching. What do you want out of life?” he asked, gazing into her eyes while she caught his hand to kiss his knuckles lightly.
“I don’t think about it much. I want to be a good teacher. I don’t want any child to ever pass through my classroom and not be able to read when moving on. They should all learn in first and second grade and never go on until they master reading.”
“No yearning for marriage?”
She was glad it was dark and he couldn’t see her blush, because she could feel the heat rise in her cheeks. “You know now, Aaron, that you’re the first man in my life. I’ve never dated much and never thought I would marry.”
“I’ll bet the ranch you do.”
When she laughed, he touched her dimple. “Are you a gambling man?”
“Actually no. But I don’t think that would be much of a bet. You’ll marry, lady.”
“Right now, I’m thinking about going to Asterland. Tell me some more about Europe.”
“Asterland is a beautiful little country. You’re going to like it.” She listened to him talk for another twenty minutes and then while she was talking, she heard his deep, regular breathing and realized he was asleep. Hugging him, knowing she would carry memories of this night with her the rest of her life because she had fallen in love, she settled against him and closed her eyes.
She lay in his arms and listened to his heartbeat and his deep steady breathing. He held her tightly as if afraid of losing her. The wonder of the night left her dazed. Aaron was a marvel. Their lovemaking was ecstasy she had never expected to experience. She’d slept, then stirred as dawn spilled into the room, and along with it, reality.
Memories assailed her, and in the light of day, they held clarity and a shocked realization of how he must see the night.
How could she have fallen into his arms and given all to him the first night she’d met him? She closed her eyes in pain, thinking of her mother and the taunting cries she had been teased with when she was young—“…your mom’s the town tramp,” “trash mama,” “she’s cheap,” “easy lay”—even worse names.
Shame, shock, fear of what Aaron would think of her, all ran through her mind. Was she that much like her mother after all? After all these years of being so circumspect, so careful, the moment a dashing, worldly man had turned his charm on her, she had thrown prudence over instantly.
Wiping at tears that stung her eyes, she slid out of bed. She could only imagine how Aaron must see her. Then her gaze fell on him and, momentarily, her feelings shifted and longing shook her. He was sprawled in bed, the sheet down below his narrow waist. His body was lean, muscled and looked like the body of a runner. The mat of dark brown hair across his chest tapered down in a line to his navel. Her gaze traveled lower to the sheet covering him, but her memories conjured up visions of Aaron last night when he was hard, ready and so incredibly male and appealing.
Giving a little shake of her shoulders, she knew she didn’t want to see those probing green eyes open and look at her in a demeaning manner. Nor did she want to hear him make excuses or make light of an evening that had taken her heart. Again, she wondered how she could have succumbed so swiftly. Was it in her genes? She had fought that notion all her life, treating boys coldly, keeping barriers around her when she was older, barriers that turned guys off quickly.
As quietly as possible, with shaking hands and tears stinging her eyes, she gathered her things and dressed. Then she slipped downstairs and called Royal’s only cab.
In minutes she was standing on the drive, praying that Aaron wouldn’t waken. Today she was supposed to go to Midland to see her closest friend, Jessica Atkins, a fellow teacher. Aaron probably couldn’t find her if he wanted to. She suspected he wouldn’t even care. Yet he hadn’t seemed that way last night.
“Of course, he didn’t, ninny!” she whispered to herself. “Get real. He seduced you—it was a one-night stand and you fell into his arms eagerly. Practically jumped into his arms.”
The cab whisked her away, and when the tall iron gates began to swing shut behind her she was certain she was closing a part of her life away. From this time forward, last night would only be a memory, yet she knew she had given Aaron much more than just her body.
Embarrassed and saddened, she had ridden home, packed for the weekend swiftly and rushed to her car to drive to Midland and the haven of Jessica’s small frame house. No matter how many miles she put between them, she couldn’t get Aaron out of her thoughts. The realization that they hadn’t used any protection came to her. Aaron had asked if she was protected, and, totally lost to the moment, wanting him as she had never wanted anything in her life, she had whispered yes.
“You know better than that!” she said aloud to herself.
Realizing she was sitting in the Royal Diner, talking to herself, Pamela took a deep breath. Aaron had asked if she was protected. She couldn’t blame him. And if he learned about her pregnancy—that must never happen. She wouldn’t even consider the possibilities.
She thought about the Blacks. Everyone in town knew that his parents had been into missionary work; his brother was a minister, channeling funds to worldwide missions, his older sister was a doctor in a third-world country. She didn’t know what his other brother did, but they were good people and used their enormous wealth to help others. Aaron had told her how he had gone into the diplomatic service because he thought he could try to do something to help world situations.
She ran her fingers across her brow. Aaron Black must never know he was the father of her baby. He would be a man to marry out of a sense of duty and doing the right thing. Aaron…
Such a pang hit her she clutched her middle. Longing rolled up through her like a tidal wave. Along with her body, she had given her heart to him. She knew that. But she was realistic. She was a veteran of watching pillars of the community sleep with her mother, give Dolly tokens of appreciation—or much more than tokens—cars, jewelry, but always they eventually turned their backs on Dolly and went their own way. And out in public she had seen them meet her mother and seen the furtive glances, the coolness, the lack of respect they had treated Dolly with.
She couldn’t bear that with Aaron. Aaron Black’s baby. Again, she pressed her hand to her flat stomach and felt a surge of maternal joy. She already loved this baby with her whole heart and she would devote her life to her precious child.
She would have to move from Royal because there would be too much gossip here, but that was something she didn’t have to worry about today. She just had to keep her condition a secret until her plans were made. It was a secret to be kept most of all from Aaron
