The knife remained in his hand.
The cold air rushed in and I fumbled for the gray cloak we’d purchased at a Sitian market near the border.
I joined Janco outside. “Anything?”
“Nope. It’s been quiet.”
I peered into the darkness that wasn’t as black as it should be. Predawn light seeped in through the edges of the world. “You didn’t wake me early enough.”
He shrugged. “It’s such a beautiful night, I lost track of time.”
“Did Valek order—”
“No, but if you’re going to take a watch shift, maybe you shouldn’t share a bed with a superlight sleeper who has fast reflexes and is well armed.”
“You’re just jealous.”
“Damn right I am. Now, if you don’t mind, I need my beauty sleep.” Janco slipped back inside.
I checked on the horses. They slept in their stalls unperturbed—a good sign. Looping around the buildings, I ensured no one lurked nearby or had set up an ambush. Although my rustlings and crunchings on dead leaves would have alerted anyone within a mile of my presence. I’d taken my magic for granted. Being on watch had been much easier when all I had to do was scan the surroundings with my awareness.
No sense moping about it; I would just need to learn how to move through the forest without scaring away the wildlife. And instead of doing sweeps, I found a perfect spot to watch for movement and to listen for sounds.
Dawn arrived. I fed the horses and inspected them for cuts or hot spots. Kiki nuzzled my ear and tugged on my braid. I didn’t need our mental link to know what she desired.
“I only have a few left, and you’ll have to share them with the others,” I said.
She nudged me toward the tack room.
“All right.” I dug in my saddlebags and removed the sack of milk oats. “You’re spoiled.”
Kiki sucked hers down in one bite. The others crunched on theirs. Good thing the Keep’s Stable Master had given me the recipe for Kiki’s favorite treat. I didn’t know how long I’d be in Ixia. Could be seasons. Had Irys sent me a reply by now? My message about traveling with Valek to Ixia would have reached her last week. Did she think I stayed with him because I was terrified or because I didn’t trust her to keep me safe in Sitia? Did I know the answer?
Why did I agree to stay with Valek when Sitia needed me? The Council was probably panicking over the news that the Commander had Curare. No. Not probably. Definitely.
So why wasn’t I rushing to the Citadel to do my job and smooth relations between the two countries? And then there was Owen. What could I do to stop him? I’d actually be safer in Sitia.
I thought about it. I’d been in plenty of dangerous situations without Valek. But this time... This time I was vulnerable. The most vulnerable I’d been since I’d been a lab rat for Reyad.
And every time I’d been in mortal peril, Valek had saved me. Not always physically, but even just hearing his voice gave me the strength to stop Owen. When I’d been trapped in the fire world, the thought of never seeing him again motivated me to find a solution.
Besides, what was wrong with being selfish? Someone else could be the Liaison. Someone else could be a target for assassins. I could just be with Valek.
Except... Yeah, that was the kicker. Except, I couldn’t. Even without my powers, I remained in a position to help, and the last thing I wanted was war between Ixia and Sitia. Not when I might have a child. A country at war was no place to raise a child. Eventually, I’d need to return to Sitia.
My courage had scattered on the ground like leaves fallen from the trees. I gathered my bits of mettle, tucking them into my heart. Each one increased my motivation to learn how to survive without my magic. Bonus that the perfect person to teach me also happened to be my heart mate.
The door to the shelter creaked. I turned. Valek strode out into the sunlight. He combed his fingers through his sleep-matted black hair, but his alert gaze scanned the area. His stiff posture relaxed when he spotted me by the horses.
“Any trouble?” he asked.
“No.”
“Good.”
“Anyone else awake?” I asked.
“The people from MD-2 are packing their bags. Onora and Janco are still asleep. Since we’re ahead of schedule, I’m going to find a local patrol, see if they spotted Owen. Can I borrow Kiki?”
She would sense any magical traps. “You have to ask her. And I suggest you bribe her with milk oats.”
He smiled. “Sounds like your brother.”
As he offered Kiki the treat, I thought of Leif. One good thing about Owen, Rika and Tyen being in Ixia—I didn’t have to worry about Leif running into the magicians. I hoped he’d received Valek’s message about the booby traps.
What if he didn’t?
A vision of shattered glass piercing his body flashed. My stomach rolled with nausea. I swallowed and dismissed the horrible scene. Just my overactive imagination. Leif would smell the trap and not be skewered as I’d been. I hoped.
Kiki allowed Valek to saddle her. But before he left, he drew me close. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m concerned about Leif.”
“He’s quite capable of taking care of himself. And Devlen is with him.”
“I know. It’s just...” I fisted my hands.
“Just what?”
“It’s been forty days since I woke up without my magic. And just when I think I’ve come to terms with it, or just when I’ve mustered enough gumption to learn how to live without it, some comment or some incident sets me back, and I realize just how much I lost and it feels like day one again—all raw and new.”
Valek embraced me. Winded from my outburst, I rested my head against his chest and breathed in his spicy musk.
“You’re frustrated, love, and that’s understandable. We’ll figure it out one way or another. We always do.”
“But—”
“Tell me one mystery we haven’t solved.”
I searched my memory. About to concede the point, I thought of one. “Onora. Is she friend or foe?” And another I wouldn’t voice—Am I pregnant?—because I suspected I already knew the answer.
“Too recent. I’m still working on it, but I’m confident I’ll know in time. Just like your problem. The solution may be revealed tomorrow, or not for seasons, but it will be. No doubts.”
Wrapped tight in Valek’s arms, I believed him. But I expected that my doubts would creep back in. For now, though, I allowed hope and his warmth to sink into my bones.
