before she could stop it. Her emotions were pushed to the limit. And suddenly all she could think about was the baby she had conceived as a result of that one incredible night. Their baby—although he’d never known. Almost five years on, she could still feel the pain which had torn at her heart the day she’d lost it.
Another sob threatened to break free and she choked it back just as Dr Fields came back into the room.
‘It’s just the sedative talking.’ He looked up at her sharply before softening his voice. ‘Think of Ben like any other patient, if it helps. Don’t let it get to you, Doctor.’
She bowed her head, unable to speak and yet unable to leave the room.
The surgeon continued. ‘His vitals are stable. Rest is the best thing to help his body to heal at this time, and I’ve no doubt that, despite his initial reaction, seeing you will help to calm any fears he has and help him to be patient until we know more.’
Thea wasn’t so sure. But when Ben woke up she’d finally have to tell him. Everything. Yes, she definitely needed closure.
Five years earlier
‘SHOULD I...? THAT IS...do you want me to carry you over the threshold?’ Ben hesitated at the cottage door, his key still unturned in the lock.
‘Sorry?’
Her voice sounded thick, as if she was in some kind of fug. He could empathise with that.
‘Now we’re married...’ Ben shrugged, feeling uncharacteristically helpless. He didn’t do emotion at the best of times. But Thea’s brother—his best friend—had just died. How was he supposed to support her? ‘I just wondered...’
He trailed off, hating these alien feelings. His career depended on him being decisive and sure. He gathered the best intelligence he could and made his plan of action accordingly. But how did he gather intel on the right way to help a grieving sister? How did he ensure he said the right thing, did the right thing? He didn’t know the right protocols. He didn’t know the rules. It left him feeling ineffective and uncertain.
But he did know it was now his responsibility to help Thea. And that ignoring loss, pretending it didn’t exist, didn’t make it go away. He knew that from bitter experience.
‘I don’t know if I’m expected to carry you over the threshold,’ he stated uncomfortably.
‘Oh. No, Lord, no—of course not.’ Thea shook her head in distress. ‘I just want to get into the house and off this street. I can practically feel the curtains twitching.’
Ben glanced around. Not a single curtain had moved, but he could understand Thea’s discomfort and her need to escape inside.
Marrying someone with whom he’d only been on one date wasn’t something he’d ever thought he would do. He wasn’t impulsive. At least not in his personal life. But this wasn’t about impulsiveness. It was about practicality. It was about fulfilling his promise to Dan—Thea’s brother and his army buddy—that he would take care of Thea. The guy had taken a bullet for him—fulfilling that promise was a given.
Ben had taken over payment of the fees for Thea’s medical degree, given her access to other necessary finances, but finding her a new home had been harder, given the time constraints. Her landlord had evicted her the moment he’d discovered Dan was dead and she could no longer pay the rent. Finding her a new flat would have taken more time than he had.
The only solution had been to marry her, so that the Army would allocate them a house within the officers’ married quarters on the base. With its tight-knit community, and the fact that he was often away on courses, exercises and tours of duty, he’d thought it the safest place for a twenty-one-year-old girl who had already lost her parents at...what had Dan said...eight? Nine?
‘I’m just not used to all...this.’ Thea waved her hand in the direction of the cul-de-sac as Ben opened the door and she practically fell inside.
‘Community?’
She shook her head. ‘People knowing your business.’
There were boxes in the hallway. He hadn’t had time to sort anything out yet, although neither of them owned much stuff. She didn’t seem to hang on to personal effects; that was something they both had in common.
‘It’s...pretty,’ she sounded surprised. ‘Until the other day, I’d always assumed married quarters just meant a different wing in the barracks,’
‘No. Married soldiers get a house either on, or near to, the camp,’Ben dredged up a smile. ‘The higher rank the soldier is, the nicer the accommodation. And the quieter the area on camp.’
‘Right,’ Thea nodded robotically.
He doubted if she had even really seen the place properly when the Housing Officer had marched them in a week ago to take inventory and do a damage report. She had still been coming to terms with burying Dan.
He knew Dan hadn’t been able to afford to rent more than a one-bedroom flat for his sister, so she could have a roof over her head. He had always put Thea first.
Dan had been a great medic, but he would have made a great doctor—a great officer. Just as Ben was. The only reason Dan hadn’t become one was because he hadn’t been able to afford the time out for courses. The guy had signed on into the Army the moment he’d been able to, just to get out of that children’s home and earn enough money to send the gifted Thea to uni when she came out of foster care.
He’d given his sister every advantage he hadn’t had, and the fact that she was in the third year of her medical degree was as much down to his love and encouragement as Thea’s ability.
Now Dan was gone, and Ben had promised to take on the mantle of responsibility. To put Thea first. He’d be damned if he was going to betray the promise he’d made to his dying buddy. But that meant he was also going to have to remember his own promise to himself never to go near the only woman he’d ever felt strongly about.
For one dangerous moment memories of their one incredible date together assailed him. Instantly Ben slammed the shutters on his mind before those memories could take hold and complicate matters. He could not afford to go there. He would have to keep reminding himself that he wasn’t the right man for Thea. He would only end up hurting her, and she had enough to contend with.
‘I thought you might feel more secure here.’ Ben forced himself to go on. ‘The neighbours are all army spouses too. You’ll have a support network when I ship out in a few days—they’ll look after you.’
‘Yes, it should help,’ she agreed flatly.
‘Plus, getting something through the Army was the fastest thing I could do in the time frame.’
He saw her wince, regretted his directness. But the truth was he had only been given one month of compassionate leave. One month in which to break news to Thea which would destroy her whole life as she knew it. One month in which to fulfil his promise to look after Thea for life. One month to convince her that marrying him wasn’t lunacy, but necessary to ensure her financial security.
‘Can
