nearly killed you.” It wasn’t a question. He already knew that the girl he’d grown up looking out for had been brutalized and nearly killed. He already knew that she’d suffered things most people couldn’t even imagine.
He knew, and he wanted to pull her into his arms, tell her everything would be okay.
“Let’s try to stay focused on the present, okay?”
“Ignoring the past can’t make it go away.”
“Do you really think it’s possible for me to ignore it?” She laughed, the sound hollow and empty.
“I think that you’re a survivor. I think—”
“Don’t.” She raised her hand, stopping his words. “I’ve heard all those things a thousand times, and I really don’t want to hear them again. I just want…”
“What?”
“To go on with my life.”
“Susie? You out here?” A man called out, and Susannah turned back the way they’d come, eager, it seemed, to end the conversation.
“Near the gardens, Chad.”
Seconds later, a tall, lean man in his fifties strode into view. He met Levi’s eyes, offered a brief handshake. “Chad Morran. I’m chief of security here.”
“Ranger Levi McDonall.”
“Not a good night to be at the Alamo, I’m afraid. We usually don’t have this kind of trouble.”
“Better to have it now than on the day of the ceremony.”
“True. You’ve already checked the area?” Chad ran a hand down his jaw, his gaze jumping to Susannah.
“Not the entire compound, but we’re working toward it. So far, everything is clear.”
“Good. How about we split up? We’ll finish more quickly that way. Ranger McDonall, you want to head east? Susannah, you check the gardens. I’ll check the west gates. When Marcus and Larry get here, they can join in the fun.”
“I’m not sure I’d call this fun,” Susannah muttered under her breath, but Levi heard. She clutched a flashlight, her knuckles white as she started toward the gardens. She had a confident, brisk stride and easy movements, but he sensed her fear, wondered if it followed her the way his guilt followed him. Clinging, clutching, refusing to be ignored. If so, it was a heavy burden to bear.
He thought about going after her, asking her more about what she’d been through, what she was still going through, but he’d come to the Alamo to do a job. He couldn’t afford to be distracted.
But you already have been.
The thought followed him as he turned on his flashlight and walked across the compound.
THREE
Susannah had never been afraid of the dark. Not when she was a kid. Not when she was a teenager. Not even when she’d started her job at the Alamo and learned the shadows and silence of the compound at night. Now, twenty-eight years into her life and four years into her job, Susannah was terrified of the black corners of the garden, the dingy gray-yellow of the path.
And that made her angry.
Angry at herself.
Angry at Aaron for stealing her sense of security.
Even angry at God.
She’d spent her life believing she’d weather any storm with her faith intact, her relationship with God certain even in the face of difficulties.
And then Aaron had come along, and everything she’d believed had changed.
The beam of her light jumped across the ground as she moved through the small garden. She trained it on a line of shrubs, following the greenery to the end of the garden wall. Nothing there. No one lurking in the shadows.
Her radio sputtered to life, and she jumped, her heart pounding in her chest.
“Susannah, where are you?” Chad’s gruff voice carried over the radio.
“Just finishing in the garden.”
“Find anything?”
“No. Everything is in order.”
“Everything is clear on my end, too. Marcus and Larry are here, so if you’re done, you can head home. I want the entire team here at six tomorrow morning. We need to figure out how this happened and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“I’ll be here, but I have a meeting with Hank Zarvy at eight. He wants a briefing on security measures for the opening ceremony.”
“When did he set that up?”
“He called the Texas Rangers to make the request, so I’m not sure.”
“Request? Not much is a request when it comes from Zarvy.”
“Fortunately, I don’t have to deal with him on a regular basis.”
“Want me to come to the meeting with you?”
“That’s not necessary. Levi will be there if I need backup.” Levi. She said the name as if they were good friends rather than business associates. If Chad noticed he didn’t comment.
“All right. You’ll let me know how it goes, right?”
“Of course.”
“Good. Now, go on home. You’ve been here long enough.”
“I don’t mind staying.”
“I know you don’t, but it’s not necessary.”
“All right. I’ll check in with Ranger McDonall, and then I’ll be on my way. See you tomorrow.” She shoved the radio back into its place on her belt. She wanted to go home. She did. What she didn’t want to do was walk out of the compound, navigate the half mile to the parking lot where she’d left her Mustang. San Antonio was safe enough, and the parking lot where she’d left her car was well lit, but she felt like a walking bull’s-eye at night, a victim waiting to be preyed upon.
She frowned, hurrying into the chapel and grabbing her purse from a locked file cabinet in the office.
A victim?
No. She was a survivor, and she wouldn’t let what she’d lived through change that. She would walk out of the Alamo, she would walk to her car, and she’d do it with ease. Just as she had before Aaron entered her life.
She shoved the folder with the security details back in her desk and opened the office door, ready to find Levi, say good-night and be on her way. Chad was right. She’d been there plenty long enough, and the thick silence and hushed stillness of the place was eating at her, making her imagine things that weren’t there.
She
