truck, just moved on toward the house.
“I was wondering what sort of hours you were looking for,” he said. “In a job, I mean.”
Meredith caught her breath and had to focus to keep from stumbling. “I’m adaptable,” she answered carefully. “I’m used to shift work, after all.”
“Mmm. And pay? Nurses make good wages, better than you’re likely to find around here.”
“Well, I wouldn’t have to pay rent,” she said quickly, “or utilities or even buy groceries, if I don’t want to. And gasoline is certainly cheaper, not to mention insurance, and then there’s fees. You’ve no idea how many fees are involved in nursing. So I could settle for less than I’m used to.”
“Uh-huh. Anything else in particular you’re looking for?”
“It’d be nice if I could wear scrubs, at least initially.” She wrinkled her nose, admitting, “I really don’t have that many clothes anymore. I mean, where would I wear them? It’s not like I go out. I work. I go to church when I can. That’s it.” Embarrassed, she looked down at her boots, realizing only then that they’d come to a halt on the pathway beneath the trees.
“There’d be a learning curve, you know.”
Meredith looked up, elated. So he really was thinking about hiring her. “I understand, but I’m a fast learner, and I love animals. I really do.”
“That might not be as much of a plus as you think.” He strolled onward. “Animals can’t tell us where or how it hurts, but they do suffer, and when they suffer, it’s obvious.”
“I understand,” she told him softly.
“Do you? They suffer, Meri, and sometimes they die. And too often there’s nothing we can do about it. That’s just the fact of it.”
They had reached the house. She lifted a hand to the porch column, looking up at him. “Why do you try to discourage me?”
“Why do you want it so badly?” he countered. “You don’t even like me. Doesn’t make sense that you want to work for me.”
She could have lied to him, could’ve batted her lashes and even flirted a little, but that wasn’t her way.
“I may not always like you,” she said bluntly, “but I have come to respect you. And you’re my only option.” She ducked her head, adding softly, “I’ve never felt safe there. I’ve never been happy there. I don’t want to go back.”
He said nothing for a long while. Then, when she looked up, he abruptly glanced away.
“I’ll think on it,” he told her, stepping away from her.
Meredith smiled, turned, climbed up onto the porch and went into the house. He’d given her hope at least.
Tonight had shown her that she couldn’t go back. She just couldn’t.
She’d thought she was past it. After all the counseling and all the precautions, she’d held on there as long as anyone could possibly expect. In the back of her mind, she’d thought that this respite, this sojourn at home, would at least prepare her to return to the City and her work there, but it had done the opposite. Her time here had shown her that she could never go back. She should be free now to find peace and safety. At home.
Please, God. She just wanted to come home to stay.
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