“For what? You did nothing wrong.”
Mary turned Elizabeth to face her. “I’m sorry you had that frightening encounter with the stranger in the barn. I am also sorry I did not tell you sooner about Thomas. I am sure the shock of seeing him again was difficult for you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me, Mamm? Was Thomas right? Did you think I would run away again?” Elizabeth studied her mother’s face. She’d known she would see Thomas sooner or later. She had tried to prepare herself for it before she returned to Sunny Creek. But she supposed no amount of preparation would have been good enough. The shock of seeing him again—leaning over her in the barn, standing in the kitchen doorway, his blond hair catching the glint of the lamp’s glow—had made her heart seize despite all the self-talk and preparation that had gone before. There were no words good enough to dampen her feelings or assuage the guilt for betraying him.
“Never mind. It’s all right, Mamm.” She put an arm around Mary’s waist. “Let’s sit. We’ll have a cup of coffee and talk this out.”
“Go to the barn and ask Thomas to kumm in.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened. That was the last thing she wanted or needed right now.
“Now that you have had time to compose yourself, you will sit and tell both of us the story of this man.”
“I will tell you, Mamm, but I don’t think we have to involve Thomas.”
“Thomas is already involved. He deserves an explanation.” Her mother smiled at her. “Besides, he is a smart man. He will be able to tell us what to do.”
Elizabeth bristled. She’d lived independently and successfully for years. She didn’t need a man, especially not Thomas, to tell her what to do.
But she was back in Amish territory and things were done differently here. Women listened to their men. Men listened to the bishop and the elders. This was what she wanted, wasn’t it? To be home again? To feel safe?
For the first time, she wondered if coming home had been the right thing to do. She had come home to be with family and friends, where she had always felt safe. But had that decision been selfish? Was she inviting danger into the lives of the people she loved? Why hadn’t she considered that possibility before she’d come back? Now it was too late. If anything happened to anyone in the community, it would be her fault.
Elizabeth looked at her mother. She should leave. Today.
But where would she go? This was her home. These people were her family. And she knew she needed their wisdom, their guidance and their love. She would tell them the truth, all of it. Then she would gauge their reactions and consider Thomas’s counsel. But if she felt her presence would put her loved ones in danger she would not hesitate to leave.
“You’re right, Mamm. I will call Thomas in for breakfast. He must be finished his chores by now.”
“Gut.” Mary moved to the stove and lifted a cast-iron skillet. “I cook for him every morning and he always brings a healthy appetite.” Mary began fixing the meal.
“Thomas has a beard, which means he also has a wife. Doesn’t his wife fix him breakfast?” She said it as nonchalantly as she could, but one glance at the smile on her mother’s face and she knew she wasn’t fooling anyone.
Her mother continued with her cooking and replied as nonchalantly. “He waited a year for you to return. Kept coming by the farm every week to see if we had heard from you. Finally, your daed took him aside and had a man-to-man talk with him. I don’t know the details. I never asked. But I assumed he told him to stop waiting for you because shortly afterward Thomas married.”
A kaleidoscope of emotions exploded inside Elizabeth’s heart. What had she expected? For him to love her forever even after she’d left him? Of course he would marry. She had been gone for seven years. But when she’d seen him again those years had vanished and all she saw was the man she’d once loved.
She couldn’t allow those feelings to resurface. They would only cause pain. He was a married man with a family now. Besides, the reason she’d left, the secret she couldn’t share with him, still existed. She’d left for his good. She’d wanted him to be happy, to marry and start a family. But she’d never realized how deeply it would hurt both of them.
Tears trickled down her cheeks. She brushed them away before her mother could see her distress.
“Did he marry someone I know?” she asked, unconsciously holding her breath, not able to picture Thomas with one of her former friends.
“He married Margaret Sue Miller. You never met her. Her family moved to Sunny Creek from Ohio a few months after you left.”
Elizabeth folded her hands in her lap and pondered the information.
“I think you would have liked her,” her mother said. “She was such a happy, loving woman of Gott. She always had a smile and a kind word for everyone.”
Elizabeth’s head snapped up. “Was?”
“Ja. Poor Thomas. He lost Margaret two years ago. She died from complications during childbirth.”
This new information rocked Elizabeth to her soul.
Oh, Thomas. How horrible that must have been for you.
“And the child?” Elizabeth asked.
“They had a beautiful little girl. Named her Rachel. She has a sweet disposition like her mother. She’s a bundle of smiles. Not like that brother of hers. He is all boy. Skinned knees. Energy that doesn’t quit. A dirt magnet, that one.” Mary laughed. “I don’t know how Thomas does it raising them on his own. His parents help when he is working the farm. But they leave to spend six months in Florida every winter. They left a few weeks ago. Margaret’s parents help in their absence. And I step in now and then. But still the responsibility for their upbringing rests on his shoulders.”
Mary carried her mug to the sink more, Elizabeth suspected, to steal a moment to collect her thoughts than to clean.
“Thomas brings the kinner here a couple times a month,” Mary said. “He pays me to watch them while he goes into town for supplies. I think sometimes it is more to help me than to help him. He knows I love children. I am alone, and I can certainly use the little extra cash it brings. But the rest of the time he is both mother and father to those children.”
“Two children?”
“Ja. Benjamin and Rachel.”
“How old is Benjamin?”
“He just turned five.”
A bittersweet smile twisted Elizabeth’s lips. She was happy for Thomas. She had known years ago that he would make a good daed someday.
“Now, go. Get Thomas. He must be hungry by now.” Mary crossed to the stove. “Tell him I have a hot breakfast waiting for him.”
Elizabeth’s heart fluttered. She could hardly wait to see Thomas again and yet knew she had to keep a distance between them. It wasn’t just her heart that was in danger of being lost, but her life, too. She could not put Thomas at risk by being around him, especially when he had two little ones to raise. She wished she hadn’t come
