life. He’d never looked at girls the same. He’d started returning some of the teasing smiles sent his way. He’d stolen his first kiss, his first embrace, had wished for his first lover, although that hadn’t happened for a few more years. But through it all, he’d dreamed of Sandy.
All this time later, he still wasn’t sure what it was about her that got to him. To him, she was beautiful, but he knew most people didn’t share his opinion. Her strength and intelligence had scared off lots of guys. He’d wanted to tell her it didn’t scare him; he’d admired her. But she wouldn’t have cared. He was two years younger than her. Now it didn’t matter, but when she’d been sixteen and he’d been fourteen, those two years had seemed like an uncrossable barrier. When he’d finally gathered the courage to speak to her, she’d been friendly but not interested. He was just her boyfriend’s kid brother.
He drew the roller across the flat ceiling toward the corner. He’d used the brush to paint along the edges and now he blended the paint to make a smooth coat. He grinned as he recalled how happy he’d been the day Jordan had announced he’d broken up with Sandy. The woman of his dreams was now available. He’d quickly realized not only was he too young to ask her out, but now she would stop coming to the house and he wouldn’t get to see her at all. He’d spent the next few months standing outside the high school hoping for a glimpse of her.
It had been a year later that he’d walked into his kitchen and found Sandy talking with Jordan. His heart had thudded wildly in his chest, his face had flushed and his voice, which had changed two summers before, had started cracking again. For a horrible moment, he’d thought they were back together again. He quickly found out they were just friends. For reasons he could never understand, Sandy had preferred his house to her own. She’d spent much of her senior year hanging out with the Haynes brothers. By then, Kyle had been fifteen, and a high school student. By taking inconvenient routes to classes, he caught glimpses of Sandy during the day. She was nice to him, friendly but never encouraging. No matter what he did, she never really saw him as anything but Jordan’s kid brother.
One night, when his mom had gone to a parent-teacher meeting, Sandy had volunteered to cook dinner. While she’d watched over a pot roast, he’d wrestled with an essay for English. Sandy had sat next to him and helped him. She’d leaned close, pointing out the awkward construction and mismatched sentences. He’d barely been able to write, with her right next to him. The scent of her body had driven him wild. He’d wanted to kiss her, to touch her, to do anything to let her know how he felt. He could still remember the freckles on her nose and the light in her eyes as she’d smiled at him.
Their arms had brushed together. Electricity had raced through him, from his head to his toes. When the paper was finished, he’d waited for her to move away, but she hadn’t. He’d stretched his arms wide, yawning exaggeratedly, then he’d casually dropped his arm over her shoulders. He’d hugged several girls by then, but with Sandy he felt as if he were doing it for the first time. He couldn’t think of anything to say. His mouth had gone dry, his tongue twisted up. She’d turned slightly toward him, her smile soft and knowing.
“I think you’re a great guy, Kyle,” she’d said. “You’re going to make some girl very happy.”
She should have just shot him and been done with it. Not even the brief kiss on his cheek was enough to make up for the humiliation of that moment. He’d tried and he’d failed. He didn’t have a chance with her.
Kyle started on the walls of the bedroom. The hell of it was, after all this time, he still hated the way she’d dismissed him. Years later, he could still taste the defeat.
Was that what this was about? he wondered. Was he just trying to prove something to himself and maybe to Sandy? Or had those long-ago feelings simply been lying dormant, waiting for her to return?
He shook his head. That was crazy. He hadn’t been waiting for her to return. But he sure wished he’d kissed her last night. The thought of holding her in his arms had kept him awake until after midnight. Maybe what he should do is—
“You’re almost done in here.”
He turned toward the voice and saw Lindsay walking into the bedroom. The preteen gave him a winning smile, then tossed her ponytail over her shoulder.
“It’s going pretty fast,” Kyle said, dipping the roller into the tray. “Whose room is this going to be?”
Lindsay moved close to him and fluttered her eyelashes. Obviously she hadn’t gotten over her crush. “Mine.”
He was sorry he’d asked. Still, he didn’t say anything to her. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings. He, of all people, knew what it was like to be dismissed by the object of his affection. Yet he didn’t want to encourage her, either. The situation made him damn uncomfortable.
Lindsay crossed the room to the window. “We’re going to put up a wallpaper border.”
“That’ll look real nice.”
“You think so?”
She stared at him earnestly, as if his answer mattered more than anything. Kyle finished the wall opposite the window and nodded. “Yeah, sure it will. Did you come up to see how I was doing, or did you want something specific?”
“Oh, Mom’s ordering sandwiches for lunch. What would you like?”
“Lean roast beef with everything.”
She wrinkled her nose. At that moment, she looked just like her mother. Kyle grinned. “You don’t approve?”
“I hate onions.”
“Then I won’t make you eat any.”
Lindsay laughed. Kyle couldn’t figure out if he was making it better or worse. Before he had a chance to decide, Travis poked his head into the room.
“Lindsay, your mom’s looking for you,” he said.
“Okay.” She glanced at Kyle. “I’ve got to give her the orders. You can come downstairs if you’d like. Everyone is taking a break.”
“Thanks. I’ll do that.” He waited until she left, then grimaced at his brother. “What am I going to do about her?”
Travis came into the room and laughed. “I can’t help you, little brother. Lindsay is way out of my league.”
“Thanks for nothing.” Kyle slipped the roller into the tray, then turned toward the last unpainted wall. “When you were first dating Elizabeth, did you have any problems with her daughter, Mandy?”
“Mandy was six at the time. She only ever saw me as a substitute father. Can’t you just tell Lindsay you’re too old for her?”
“Sure. But then I’ll hurt her feelings and humiliate her.”
“I wish I had something better to tell you.”
Kyle shrugged. “Me, too.” He raised his arms and moved the roller up and down above the closet door. “I’ll think of something.”
Travis grinned. “I don’t understand why there’s a problem in the first place. You’re usually so good with kids.”
“It’s different this time.”
“Why?”
Because
