wondered if Lord Dalton’s military training had prepared him for the challenge that awaited him in Charity Dinsmore! Even as she wondered how she would be able to bear the next fortnight. He would be in the same house; she would know he was near, but more than likely she would have no contact with him at all.
Why did the idea hurt so after all this time?
Chapter Two
Kathryn felt that she would never be able to concentrate today, but her practical heart had not failed her.
Sleep, however, had been another matter entirely, and had evaded her all night. Over and over again she relived Lord Dalton’s words and actions. He held her as gently as a porcelain doll, but she was no less fettered. He spoke several times as if he could read her mind. And his kiss on her bare hand had been so very tender. To dwell on it again would only prolong the agony she thought had ended long ago. And yet she could not refuse him when he asked her to come again.
Thoughts of the past rushed through her mind. She had done the unthinkable—she had eloped. Almost from the time they could walk, young women were taught the importance of keeping a spotless reputation in the eyes of the ton. The two quickest ways to lose that invaluable status were simple: to be alone in the company of a single gentleman or to elope.
She was young and gullible and Lord Salford had swept her off her feet. The feelings she’d had for Lord Dalton caused her to hesitate; how could her heart have changed so quickly? But Lord Salford knew what he was doing. He said that Lord Dalton had not complimented her enough. He had not demanded her company or declared her his only happiness. Lord Dalton was going to leave to go into the army and was only dallying with her affections. Looking back on it now, it was easy to see that Lord Dalton had been the truer gentleman, recognizing her youth and protecting her from the gossips.
But in the end it did not matter. Lord Salford said if he could not have her, he would die of a broken heart. Then he told her they must elope, as she was underage. Romantic thoughts disappeared. Indeed, she was horrified! She would be eighteen in a few months; why could they not wait until then? Why did he not go to her father and ask his permission? She was sure he would give it, though he might want her to wait those few months. No, Lord Salford said, her father would try to make her believe he was not good enough for her.
So they had traveled to Gretna Green to be married. She knew it was wrong; she wanted no part of it, but Lord Salford had been relentless and she was too young to see his actions as proof that he was not a gentleman. They spent four endless days on the road, only stopping to change horses and eat. The trip alone should have opened her eyes. Lord Salford had ridden alongside the coach for much of the time, and came inside at night to sleep. He was uncommunicative and sullen, offering none of the endearments he had generously doled out the previous few weeks. He feared her father would discover their intent and would follow them to stop the marriage. She was afraid to tell him she had left a note for her father explaining her actions. It would never occur to her to just disappear!
When they got to Scotland and Salford discovered that she did not come into possession of her fortune at eighteen, he left her. He never married her, and he abandoned her with only her pin money from last quarter. She found herself desolate in a strange country after traveling days in a carriage alone with Salford. She had done both of the things that would tarnish a young woman’s name.
Her ruination had been complete.
Even her father could not forgive her, so he cast her off. And only a few short months later, Kathryn decided God could not forgive her, either. Life had become one unanswered prayer after another until she rarely sought Him anymore. She believed it made her stronger, but she missed the comfort and peace God had always given her.
Now she was to keep Charity in some semblance of proper behavior during Lord Dalton’s visit.
“Oh, why does he not come? I am so bored I could scream. I should have accepted Harry Bolton’s offer to go for a drive today. Now I am quite sorry I did not.”
Kathryn sighed in frustration. “Charity, I am all out of patience with you. The past two weeks you have been anxious and overwrought. It will not bring him here sooner. I have told you again and again that a man of Lord Dalton’s stamp will expect and prefer a properly behaved young woman, not one prone to go into a fit of the dismals.”
Charity appeared to take her advice to heart as an hour later Kathryn sat in the window embrasure of the drawing room, as she always did during tea. Charity sat before the tea tray looking beautiful and demure. If only it had been natural and not by design.
Kathryn had gone to her room to freshen up, and once again sat in front of her mirror seeing a stranger. How she wished she could meet Lord Dalton without hiding behind her mask. It was impossible, of course, for many reasons. She knew he must despise her for what she had done to him. He would not be happy to see her. More importantly, she could not bear to see the pity on his face if he recognized her. She could avoid her previous life with her disguise. She could not bear it should he discover her identity and turn his back on her.
She came back to the present and watched young Lacey as she very slowly and meticulously carried an overfull cup of tea to her. “You are doing splendidly, sweetheart,” she whispered. Lacey was starved for affection in the most pitiable way. She was sadly neglected, though Kathryn found her eager and willing to learn everything she could.
She was almost upon her with the cup of tea when the door opened and the butler announced in a deep baritone, “Sir John, Lord Dalton has called.”
Kathryn’s eyes sought the earl’s face of their own volition, and she felt a nostalgic wish in her heart that it was she in Charity’s place.
The teacup, so lovingly carried, rolled awkwardly across the carpet and a horrified gasp was the only sound heard upon this stentorian announcement. Kathryn’s quiet assurance directed at the disconcerted Lacey was the only thing that kept the self-conscious child from fleeing the room in tears.
“Jarvis frightened me, Miss Montgomery,” whispered the dismayed little girl.
“Indeed he did, Lacey. It is of no matter, for we will clean it up momentarily.” Kathryn discreetly bent to mop up part of the spill with her napkin as Sir John shifted his eyes from the small disaster to the man now coming toward him. Kathryn sensed Lord Dalton’s awareness of the situation and appreciated that he did not draw even more attention to Lacey.
It made her remember his kindness. He was a more mature version of her Lord Dalton, but his characteristics appeared to be intact. She decided she could not be responsible for her wayward thoughts while he was with them.
* * *
“Dalton, my boy, welcome, welcome!” Sir John stepped forward in obvious exuberance, hand outstretched in greeting. “Told the ladies you and I had agreed upon no specific time of arrival, so we have begun tea as usual. Apologize profusely, my boy.”
Lord Dalton entered the salon that seemed full of staring eyes. He realized that the two young children and one young girl were quite obviously Sir John’s progeny. There was also a lady of indeterminate age sitting by the window, but based on her appearance she was not a guest.
His quick observations did not show in his expression. He greeted his host graciously in return. “Sir John, I am honored. Please feel no dismay over beginning your tea. More to the point, I must apologize to your lady for my late arrival. I had no wish to upset your schedule further, so as you see, I have presented myself in all my dirt. Do forgive me, please.”
He
