a car mounting the footpath. So after all that, Josh’s care came to nothing and he went so far into himself I couldn’t reach him. He finally explained to me, quite calmly, that he couldn’t handle himself. He didn’t know how to be a husband to me any more. He had to leave.’
She shook her head, trying to shake off the memory of the night Josh had finally declared their marriage was over.
There was a long silence, for which she was grateful. And then she thought …
These are cramps. Stomach cramps.
Back cramps?
And that thought brought a stab of fear so deep it terrified her.
She was lying on a rock floor, supporting Malu’s legs. Of course she had cramps.
Of course?
Please …
‘I can top up the morphine now if you like,’ she managed at last, and at least this was an excuse to turn on the torch. She needed the phone app torch, too, to clean the dust away and inject the morphine. She held the phone for a bit too long after.
The light was a comfort.
The phone would be better.
No word. No texting.
Cramps.
Josh …
Malu’s grip on her hand gradually lessened. She thought he was drifting into sleep, but maybe the rocks were too hard. The morphine didn’t cut it.
‘So your Josh abandoned you and joined Cairns Air Sea Rescue?’ he whispered at last.
Oh, her back hurt. She wouldn’t mind some of that morphine herself …
Talk, she told herself. Don’t think of anything but distracting Malu.
‘I think that other people’s trauma, other people’s pain, are things he can deal with,’ she managed, struggling to find the right words. Struggling to find the right answer. ‘But losing our baby … It hurt him to look at me hurting, and when Holly died, he didn’t know where to put himself. He couldn’t comfort me and he thought showing me his pain would make mine worse. He couldn’t help me, so he left.’
‘Oh, girl …’
‘I’m fine,’ she whispered, and Malu coughed again and then gripped tighter.
‘I dunno much,’ he wheezed. ‘But I do know I’m very sure you’re not.’
‘Not what?’
‘Fine. You’re hurting and it’s not just the memory of some low-life husband walking out on you.’
‘I’m okay.’
‘I can tell pain when I hear it.’
‘I got hit by a few rocks. We both have bruises all over.’
‘There’s room on my pillow to share.’
‘It’s not exactly professional—to share my patient’s bed.’
‘I’m just sharing the pillow,’ Malu told her with an attempt at laughter. ‘You have to provide your own rock base.’
She tried to smile. Her phone pinged and she’d never read a text message faster.
Hey, you. Quick update? Tell us you’re okay. Josh.
‘Is that telling us the bulldozers are coming?’ Malu demanded, and the threadiness of his voice had her switching on the torch again. ‘Hey, it’s okay,’ he managed. ‘You tell them … tell them to tell Pearl I’m okay. But I wouldn’t mind a bulldozer.’
‘I wouldn’t mind a piece of foam,’ she told him, and tried to think of what to say to Josh. Apart from the fact that she was scared. No, make that terrified. She hated the dark and she was starting to panic and the dust in her lungs made it hard to breathe and the cramps …
Get a grip. Hysterics were no use to anyone.
She shouldn’t have come in in the first place, she told herself.
Yeah, and then Malu would be dead.
Josh wanted facts. He couldn’t cope with emotion.
Yeah, Josh, we’re fine.
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