the station, he’d been a lot easier to ignore, but now no one else was around to see. She could lighten up a little. It wasn’t as if she was getting involved with Nick. She knew exactly who and what he was. No matter how charming and funny, he still lived on the wrong side of the law.
“My birth mother gave me up for adoption,” she said and glanced out at the low mountains around them. They were climbing out of the Santa Clarita Valley, heading north toward Glenwood. “A few months ago, I received a letter from her.”
“Your real mom?”
“Yeah.”
He glanced at her. “Without warning? That must have kicked up your heart rate.”
“I’ll admit I walked around in a fog for days. I couldn’t believe it She’d hired a private detective to find me.”
“Are you angry about it?”
Hannah was surprised at his perception. She shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes. I seem to go through stages of curiosity, longing and rage. Right now I’m curious. I want answers. I guess most children who are given up for adoption have a lot of questions. What were the circumstances in my biological mother’s life? Did she give me up right away, or did she keep me around for a while? Did she…” Did she love me?
Hannah didn’t voice that, although it was always deep in her mind. That was the one question that plagued her the most. Had her birth mother cared about her at all? Had this been a callous gesture, the quick and easy way to get rid of a problem? Or had there been overriding forces at work, ripping an innocent child from her caring mother?
“Did she have second thoughts?” she said, completing the statement so Nick wouldn’t get any ideas. She already regretted confiding in him.
“Had you tried to get in touch with her yourself?” he asked.
“No. I thought about it from time to time, but I never knew what I was going to say if I found her. I figured if she’d wanted me in the first place, she would have kept me around.”
“What do your adoptive folks say about this?”
“They died a long time ago.” Hannah clutched the foam coffee cup in her hands. Twenty-three years ago. She’d been so young, she barely remembered them. She did remember being happy, though. Not just the occasional glad moment, but happy all the time.
“Any other family?” he asked.
“That’s really none of your business.”
“Right. I’m just the husband. Sorry, I forgot.”
“It’s not necessary for you to know every detail about my private life. I’m not trying to be difficult. I would simply prefer that you didn’t pry.”
“I’m sort of surprised you can walk as well as you do,” he said.
She stared at him. “What do you mean?”
“It must be difficult, what with that giant chip on your shoulder. Most people would have to drag a leg behind them or something, just to keep balanced.”
She didn’t know whether to burst out laughing or slap him. “I do not have a chip on my shoulder.”
“Yeah, right. You also don’t keep the rest of the world away by pretending not to need anyone, either. Go on. You got this letter from your real mother. Then what happened?”
She was openmouthed at his assessment of her character. She wanted to protest that she didn’t keep the world at bay. At least, not on purpose. It just sort of happened. She hadn’t grown up the way everyone else had. After her adoptive parents had died, she’d never been a part of a family for any length of time. She’d been bounced around foster homes. She didn’t know how to have several close friends, share pieces of her life, or even tell jokes. Socially, she was definitely at the dull-normal end of the range.
“Hannah? The letter?”
“Oh. Well, she found me by using a private detective. Apparently, all the records got messed up at the adoption agency. Plus, because I wasn’t searching for her, they wouldn’t give out any information they still had. Not that it would have helped, what with my parents dying.”
“What does this have to do with me?” he asked. “Why do you need a husband?”
“Because when the detective located me, I was still married.”
He turned his head and glared at her. “Married?” The outrage in his voice made her smile.
“Yes, married.”
“Married?”
“Nick, watch the road. I want to get to Glenwood in one piece.”
He returned his attention to the road and swore under his breath. “Dammit, Hannah, you didn’t tell me you were married.”
“Why are you acting like it matters?”
“Because it does.”
“That’s crazy. We don’t even know each other.”
“That’s something a man likes to know before he pretends to be somebody’s husband.”
“Sorry. I’ll remember that for next time.”
He shook his head. “Married.”
Her amusement turned to irritation. “I know it’s hard for you to imagine this, but there are actually men who find me attractive. Amazingly, I did trap one into a committed relationship, at least for a short period of time.”
She hadn’t trapped Shawn, although the relationship had been a mistake from the beginning. They’d only been married five days. Even thinking about it made her embarrassed. It was a foolish episode from her past.
“How long have you been divorced?” he asked.
“About two months.”
“Two months? You mean all this past year you were living with your husband?“
She sighed. “Why are you taking this so hard? You’re acting like I’ve cheated on you. No, I wasn’t living with my husband. We’ve been separated about four years. I just never bothered filing for divorce and neither did he. Until recently.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing I want to discuss with you. The important point is that when the detective found me, I was still married. The letter from Louise—that’s my biological mother—mentioned that she wanted to meet my husband.”
“Why didn’t you tell her the truth when you talked to her on the phone?”
The car glided over the paved highway. Hannah turned to her right and pretended interest in the billboards. “Well, one reason was that she said that she wanted us to get together while there was still time. I’m afraid she’s very ill. I didn’t want to upset her. She’s an old woman. That’s why I hired you. We show up together.
