it was causing more problems.
Her plan had been to treat Ryan like any colleague and it was rare that she called out another practitioner on their methods in public like that. Especially when neurosurgery was not her specialty. And especially since it wasn’t even about that. She was angry he’d never responded to her and then he’d made her look like a fool in front of Dr. Teal. She’d hated it when Robert had done that to her.
Usually she was calm, cool and collected. She prided herself on professional behavior. Behavior she’d worked so hard to learn. What she’d just pulled was not her usual behavior and she was annoyed with herself for letting her emotions get the better of her.
The attendings’ lounge was, mercifully, empty.
“There’s an empty cubby over there.” She pointed to the one that was furthest from the door but she stayed close to the door, because it was an escape route.
“Thanks.” Ryan walked over to the cubby, slipped off his leather jacket and placed it inside. “I did get one message, by the way.”
That shocked her. “Oh?”
“The divorce papers.”
“But not news of my pregnancy. I sent you ten emails.”
“I told you the night we got married that I had to catch a flight. I was overseas and in an area where internet connection was spotty. I wasn’t trying to ignore you.”
He was unbuttoning his shirt to put on his scrubs and Emily tried not to watch. She wanted to believe him.
“I’d had a lot to drink that night. I don’t remember you telling me that.”
“I remember, sort of. I guess we’ both had a lot to drink that night because an Elvis impersonator married us? Really? That sounds tacky.” It was a joke meant to break the tension and it did.
A smile tugged at the corners of her lips and she couldn’t help but laugh just a little. “Right. Completely tacky.”
“I’m glad you decided to keep the baby,” he said softly.
“Of course I would.”
A strange expression crossed his face as he slipped off his shirt and then pulled his scrub top over his head. For a moment Emily thought that he didn’t quite believe that she would’ve kept this baby. Everyone had a choice, but she knew she’d wanted this child the moment the stick had turned blue.
Was it planned? No, but she was happy to be pregnant. She liked kids, which was why she’d become a pediatric surgeon.
“After this surgery we really need to sit down and talk,” he said.
“Right. About the conjoined twins. I have to go over the chart...”
He cocked an eyebrow. “What’re you talking about?”
“The conjoined twins case. What’re you talking about?”
“I’m talking about our marriage and the baby.”
Her heart skipped a beat and she could feel the warmth creeping up her necks into her cheeks. “Ryan, we don’t have a marriage.”
“We’re still married. We can’t get an annulment and I’m not sure about signing the divorce papers.”
Of course.
He had to make this difficult by not signing the papers. It was frustrating.
“Is that what you want to talk about? You want to talk about the divorce? It’s all laid out in the papers.”
“No, I don’t want to talk about a divorce, Emily,” he said in frustration. “I want to talk about you and me and the baby. About what we should do.”
She couldn’t help but laugh at that. “There is no you and I, Ryan. We made a silly mistake in Vegas.”
“I don’t think it was silly,” he said seriously.
“What? You can’t be serious.”
“I am serious, Emily. I want to raise our baby...” He paused and looked a bit uncertain. “I want us to raise our baby together.”
EMILY DIDN’T WANT to talk about it. She thought the whole idea was absurd. He wanted to talk about their relationship? He wanted to make it work? To raise a baby together? They didn’t have a relationship. They’d met, had a few drinks and had a one-night stand. And she wasn’t even sure she totally believed him about not getting her emails.
He’d acted surprised, though.
Although Robert had been a good actor too. She’d been duped before. Emily bit her lip. She wasn’t sure what to think.
Other than the work he’d published and the talks she’d listened to, she knew nothing about him and he knew nothing about her. That was not the basis for any kind of relationship. Her parents were best friends. They’d taken their time to get to know each other and they’d had a long, happy marriage.
They still had a good marriage.
Ryan and she didn’t have that.
They’d had one night together. That was the basis for nothing.
There was a tiny kick and she looked down at her belly. Well, maybe it wasn’t completely nothing, but still she didn’t want to talk about this with Ryan. They didn’t have a real marriage. Why did he seem so keen to get involved now?
“We’re not talking about this,” she said quickly. “I’ll meet you down in the OR.”
“I don’t know where the OR floor is and I don’t have access to it.”
Dammit.
“Finished getting dressed,” she said through pursed lips.
“Emily—”
“No,” she snapped. “The only thing we’re going to talk about after this surgery is the conjoined twin case. It’s a very important case and the mother is arriving tomorrow. If the babies survive the birth and make it through their first week of life, we have to talk about a plan to do the separation. That’s all I want to talk about right now. Just patients, just cases. That’s it, Ryan. That’s all I can handle.” And it was true. She was feeling overwhelmed. She hadn’t felt this way since Robert had betrayed her and she hated this feeling.
His eyes narrowed and he undid the buckle to his jeans. “Fine.”
Only she had a feeling by the way he’d said “Fine” that this wasn’t over and that this discussion was going to continue. He was persistent enough. It was something she’d admired about him. He was driven and that’s why he was the best there was in neurosurgery and why she’d striven to continue
