rash seems to have died down a bit, but shouldn’t she have gone home by now?’ He turned towards Rob. ‘Shouldn’t you have gone home too?’
Rob shrugged. ‘You know how it is.’ His eyes went to Esther, who hadn’t noticed either of them as she stopped for a second in the corridor and put her hand on the wall. She looked absolutely exhausted.
They shot each other a glance and walked over to her. ‘Okay,’ Rob said quickly. ‘Esther, I’m officially sending you home. I should have done it earlier, but to be truthful I thought you would have responded much quicker to the antihistamines. I’m sorry.’
‘But my patients…’
Rob interrupted her. ‘They’ll be reassigned.’
She sagged a little as relief clearly flooded over her. ‘Great.’
He tilted his head and looked at her again. ‘Is there someone at home with you?’
She scowled. ‘No. Why?’
Rob bit his bottom lip. ‘I actually wonder if I should make you stay overnight in the combined assessment unit—you know, for observation?’
He was glancing at Harry again.
She shook her head fiercely. ‘No way. Not a chance.’
‘Esther, I’m not sure I should let you go home. What if something happens in the middle of the night? What if you feel unwell? How will you get back in?’
Esther gave Harry a look of panic. The dark circles under her eyes pulled at something inside him.
No member of NHS staff wanted to see a colleague look like this.
Harry stood for a few moments next to her, not wanting to leave. It was a strange sensation for him. A few days ago he’d been ready to do battle with this midwife, questioning her competence. But here she was, working in A&E as well as NICU. There had to be a story there, and he was curious what it was. Now he’d seen her working, he knew she was dedicated. He just didn’t know why she was taking on so many shifts to the detriment of her own health. He might not be an expert, he might not even know her that well, but from what little he’d seen, Esther was on the verge of burnout.
She gave a soft smile, and shook her head again. He could tell she was going to try and persuade Rob to let her go. She gave an unconscious scratch of her neck and gave Harry a sad kind of smile. ‘Thanks for looking out for me earlier.’
‘Of course.’ He meant it. He’d look out for any member of staff that was clearly unwell at work.
He held up his hand. ‘Stay here. Both of you. Don’t move.’
There was a phone on the nearby wall and he picked it up, calling up to first NICU, then the paed ward. Everything appeared to be under control. The other doc on call was more than competent. ‘Head home, Harry. Anything happens with your own patients I’ve got your mobile and I’ll give you a call. But you can trust me, you know?’ he added in a jokey tone.
‘Okay.’ Harry hung up the phone. He had to get better at that. Trusting others with his patients. Maybe it was because he’d spent so long being the visiting expert surgeon. It meant he couldn’t form relationships long enough with people to feel assured about their competencies.
Or maybe it was because of the way he’d been brought up. No child asked to be born to parents who weren’t the least bit interested in them. A child had been a necessity for the duke and duchess. Someone to carry on the family name. But that’s all he’d been. It had taken him a long time to realise that the relationship he had with his parents wasn’t entirely normal. Most kids who boarded did actually get to spend some time at home. But not Harry. It made forming relationships hard for him. He’d spent most of his childhood thinking he didn’t deserve love, and most of his wild teenage years looking for love wherever he could find it. Medicine had been his blessing. His focus. Surgery his ultimate goal. He’d managed to keep everything right on track until the death of his father had derailed one of his first surgeries.
He’d had to leave. It was unheard of for a son not to attend his father’s funeral. The gossip columns would have loved it. His mother had died years previously, so he was the only family left to make the arrangements. So, only two days after his first neonatal cardiac surgery, he’d had to travel home for the funeral.
He’d had to leave the tiny baby he’d wanted to watch like a hawk. And it had happened. The death. While he wasn’t there. His first experience of a child death review with his name as the surgeon. It was devastating for him, and had almost derailed his career. He would never know if something else could have been done to save that baby. None of them would. But it had left an indelible mark on Harry. One he couldn’t ever shake off, or forget.
These babies were his responsibility and he could never forget that. Working with a hundred different teams across a variety of continents was difficult for him. Being a visiting surgeon was hard.
Some weeks he didn’t even get to sleep in his own bed. Constantly moving from place to place—sometimes from country to country to perform his specialist kind of surgery. At first he’d liked it. Enjoyed it even.
But constantly working with different staff was wearing. He’d never considered it before, but the thought of having his own team—a team that he would train by himself and he could trust—had started to play on his mind.
He could also get to know all the staff who worked in NICU and Paeds and perhaps even have a little confidence in the people around him. He could actually start to get a life again—or even get to spend some time in his own bed, in his own home. Now that would really be a miracle.
He walked back over, the decision already made in his head. ‘Okay, Esther. You’re coming home with me.’
‘What?’ She looked entirely stunned.
He shrugged. ‘This is easy. You have two choices. You let Rob admit you, or you let me take you home and keep an eye on you overnight.’
She opened her mouth to speak but he kept talking.
‘I know what’s happened. I know the history. I’m not going to tell anyone else, and you don’t need to tell anyone you stayed with me. If you’re unwell during the night I can bring you back in.’
The stunned look hadn’t changed. Harry’s conscience was tugging at heartstrings he didn’t even know he had. But every cell in his body told him this was the right thing to do.
Rob shot him a glance and a nod. He folded his arms across his chest. ‘Sounds good to me, but it’s entirely your choice, Esther. I think you need supervision for at least the next eight hours. Where you spend them is up to you.’
She shot them both a look of complete exasperation. ‘Fine, fine.’ She threw up her hands. ‘Just let me go and get changed.’
She turned and walked off to the female changing room. Harry went into the other changing room and stowed his white coat and pulled out his jacket. He was still waiting to be allocated an office. Hospital space was always tight, so until then, he was happy to have somewhere safe to leave his things.
As he pulled his car keys from his trouser pocket he saw Esther standing at the exit to A&E. Her head was turning from side to side
