of course I don’t suppose you’re likely to meet anyone nice in your line of work are you, darling?’ Helen asked doubtfully.
‘I meet lots of nice people. I had a professional golfer stay this summer – he took Jamie for a round of golf.’
‘A professional golfer?’ Helen’s face lit up with interest.
‘Yes, he was lovely. And so was his wife.’ Eva suddenly felt mean, but it always vexed her that her mother seemed intent Eva had to be married off yet somehow it was okay for Sarah to be single, presumably because she had a high-flying career. Of course she felt lonely at times and wished she had someone to share things with. But she also knew if a man ever were to become part of her life again he would have to be so special that he probably didn’t exist.
Eva would never admit that to her mother though. No single man in a hundred-mile radius would be safe. Eva almost laughed out loud imagining her mother’s reaction if she knew about the handsome physicist now living next door to her.
‘And how is the big school, Jamie?’
‘S’okay.’ He shrugged.
‘What’s your favourite subject?’
‘PE,’ Jamie replied brightly.
‘Mmmm.’ Helen smiled demurely before continuing. ‘But you need to work hard at all your subjects, you know. Have you thought yet about what you want to do when you leave school? Things are so competitive these days.’ She gave a knowledgeable nod as Jamie looked over to Eva, unsure how to respond.
Eva almost choked on her tea, hardly believing she was hearing the same words that were recited to her over and over when she was in high school.
‘I think first year is more about finding his feet and settling in rather than making any career plans,’ Eva said through gritted teeth before glancing over at Jamie and giving him a reassuring smile. Of course she wanted him to do well in school but she would never make him feel that was the measure of a successful or happy life.
A silence hung over the table, the only sound Jamie munching his way through most of the food. Eva reached for a scone and spread a thick layer of butter and jam on it before taking a huge bite.
She glanced over at Sarah whose eyes kept flitting to the screen on her precious phone. Eva felt like shouting at her not to be so rude. She wouldn’t tolerate Jamie having any electronic gadgets at the table. Eva didn’t see why she should be allowed to exclude herself from the conversation and decided it was time she joined in.
‘So, Mum says you’re working on a big case just now?’
Sarah looked up from her iPhone. ‘That’s right.’
‘So what’s it about?’
‘It’s complicated.’ She exhaled. ‘Basically a private equity group is suing a law firm for negligence. The case is worth about ten million.’
Eva bristled at her condescending tone. Okay, so her job was important but did she have to act so superior about it?
‘Sounds fascinating,’ Eva said dryly. Sarah ignored her and smiled at Helen instead.
‘Oh, Mum, I changed a few things about in my diary so I’ll be able to take you to the chiropodist on Wednesday.’
‘This Wednesday?’ Eva jumped in. ‘I could take you, Mum. What time is it at?’
Helen shook her head. ‘No it’s fine. Sarah’s taken me before so she knows where to go.’
Eva bit her lip thinking nothing had changed. Ever since they were little girls Sarah had always sought their mother’s approval. Eva had always been closer to her father, preferring to stay with him pottering in the garden or helping him do little jobs while Helen and Sarah favoured shopping.
With most of the food finished thanks to Jamie and Eva, Helen turned her attention to Jamie again.
‘Now, Jamie, come and spend some time with me before your mum whisks you away again.’ The remark wasn’t lost on Eva, managing to make it sound as if she never saw him even though she visited as often as possible and was constantly inviting her to visit.
Jamie dutifully followed Helen out of the room, throwing Eva an accusing look as he went. She ruffled his hair as he passed and started to collect plates from the table, glancing over to see Sarah’s manicured fingers tapping furiously away. Eva assumed it was business but then what did she know? Maybe she was arranging a romantic rendezvous with a secret lover. She knew so little about her sister’s life these days.
How and when it had got to this stage she didn’t know. Their personalities had always been different but once they had been close. Eva remembered the two giggling girls hiding behind the curtains waiting for their dad to come home. Or the teenagers sitting up late into the night discussing what boys they fancied at school. Everything changed after their dad’s heart attack. Instead of bringing them closer, it had seemed to tear them apart.
Sarah showed no signs of helping to clear the table and Eva felt a rush of anger.
‘Surely it can wait, whatever it is?’ she snapped. Sarah jumped slightly and looked up. Eva could see slight shadows beneath her sister’s expensive make-up and immediately felt guilty.
‘Is everything all right?’ she asked her.
‘Yes, why shouldn’t it be?’
‘No reason. I just thought you looked tired.’
‘Well that’s what happens when you work a fifty-hour week,’ Sarah replied sarcastically. Eva took a deep breath, willing herself to stay calm. Eva knew very well what it was like, but of course Sarah would never acknowledge that.
‘Maybe you could take a break after this case,’ Eva suggested.
‘Maybe,’ she sniffed. ‘It will depend on my work schedule and I can’t just leave Mum.’
‘Why not?’ Eva asked surprised.
‘She’s not getting any younger you know.’
‘She looks fine to me. More than fine, in fact. Is there a problem I don’t know about?’
‘No,’ Sarah replied defensively. ‘She just needs to know I’m here, that’s all. I can’t just take off.’
‘But I’m here for her too! I’m only an hour away and she could come and stay with me if she wanted.’ Eva had lost count of the times she had invited her mother to come to St Andrews. She glared at Sarah and then shook her head in despair. Balancing a pile of plates in her arms she carried them through to the kitchen, not trusting herself to speak.
She plonked the dishes down and began to stack the dishwasher. She took a few calming breaths, suddenly overwhelmed with sadness. She couldn’t bear the thought of her and Sarah spending the next few years fighting like this every time they met until eventually they wouldn’t bother to see each other at all. Maybe if they could see each other in different circumstances and relax, they would have a chance to fix whatever it was that was broken between them.
She thought of Jamie’s trip
