I’ve been heartsick at the thought of leaving…”
I couldn’t speak. I just stared at him, my hand tingling in his. Eventually I managed to nod.
“When I wake up,” he whispered, “I’m thinking of you. When I sleep you inhabit my dreams. Your smile, your laugh, the way you cry to Bonnie Tyler when you think no one can hear…” He tailed off and a smile crept onto his face.
Oh God.
“Your ability to burn toast, and blame the toaster, the way people flock to be in your spotlight. I’ve been so torn about everything, not wanting to appear like the lost soul I was. How do I say how I feel without putting any more pressure on you?”
“What do you mean, Kai?” My breath caught. What pressure?
“You know, when I found out I was adopted I ran, took my things, cursed them all and got lost in the biggest country I could find. And now I see that for what it was. Without knowing the truth, without reconciling the past, I wouldn’t have found you. I would still be in Australia catching waves, and building other people’s houses, but missing something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.”
“So…?” Was this goodbye?
“It was you, Clio. That’s what’s been missing from my life. And now I see I had to make sense of the past to be able to live for the future. And I hope that future will be with you. Here.”
“You’re staying at Cedarwood?” My legs were like jelly, but I fought the urge to stumble into his arms. It was all too good to be true. I was sure it was a dream and any minute I’d wake up. But I needed real words this time, real answers, not just the press of his lips against mine.
“If you’ll have me. I told my boss I wasn’t coming back. Leaving you would be like someone turning off the sun, and I just want you to know, you’ve changed me, made me whole again, and even if you don’t feel the same way, I will always love you for that. For what I know can be…”
“I can’t believe you’re really going to stay.” I grinned, while my heart thrummed so hard I was sure he could hear it.
“For the last month I’ve been trying to find a building job closer to Evergreen so I could be near you. Just on the off-chance, in case you had the same feelings for me.”
“But wasn’t it obvious how I felt?” Golly, I was clearly useless at expressing myself to him. “I told you! I kissed you, I made it quite clear, didn’t I?”
“Well, there was Tim calling every three minutes, and with your history and all… I wasn’t sure if you meant it. And I had to get myself together, first, before I admitted it to you. Then there was my parents, my job. I had to be sure I was in the right space and was making the right choice by you, Clio. And if you’d have chosen Tim, then I would have respected that. But the last thing I wanted was to admit how I felt about you and have you tell me you loved someone else. And I had to make peace with who I was, and who I want to be. Which is here, with you, for as long as you’ll have me.”
“Tim is just a friend, but how did you even know it was an issue?” Before the words left my mouth, I knew.
“Amory,” he said, laughing. For once I wouldn’t scold her about sharing my secrets. “She told me you weren’t interested in Tim like that because you were head over heels in love with me.” That minx!
“Head over heels? Well, I guess I am.”
My pulse raced, and I wanted to pinch myself to make sure this was real. That the blue-eyed Australian boy in front of me was really staying at the lodge, because he wanted to be with me. I was the girl Amory had dubbed icy heart – but Kai had proven a heart could be thawed, it just took the right person. It took Kai. A man who’d managed to sweep me off my feet with his sensitive soul, his zest for life, and his passion. “I hope you stay for ever, Kai.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Clio. I promise you that.”
He lifted my chin and pulled me in for a swoon-worthy kiss, and while I still felt dizzy with desire for him, I also felt something else, something like hope and the promise of for ever. Right here, in the place we all felt at home.
Fourteen months later
The sun shone down, training triangles of light on the lush green grass. With respectful faces, we stood huddled by the newly pruned maze.
“Ready?” I asked and gave Mom’s hand a squeeze.
“Ready.”
Hand in hand we wandered through the entrance. Mom knew her way even after all these years. When we came to the middle, the large square, we stopped short. Mom gasped and covered her face. After a minute she removed her hands, and said, “It’s beautiful, Clio.”
In the small square clearing at the center of the maze, we’d planted a bed, and laid a length of grass. In the middle of the grass patch sat a stone memorial bench with Tabitha’s name engraved on a gold plaque.
Mom reached out, ran the pad of her finger along the plaque and said, “I’ll never forget you, Tabitha, but today I’m saying goodbye.” Her small shoulders shook with the effort of her farewells.
Tabitha was gone but never forgotten. And now Mom could let the past go.
Kai wandered over, a pot of roses in his hand. “Any place in particular?” he gently asked Mom, who pointed to a spot. He dug out the earth, and planted the pretty pale-peach rosebush. Mom had asked for a rose garden, and a rose garden she would have. The maze was a place of solitude for her now, a place to visit and reflect. Her days sitting in her cottage alone were over. She’d moved into one of the chalets, and spent her days with Isla, manicuring the gardens and the grounds – just like she’d always dreamed of doing. The work had made her stronger, in myriad ways, and her cheeks weren’t as hollow any more.
Reaching forward I gave her a tight hug, glad to have her back in my life now. And grateful that we had made it through everything to be here today. Not quite the TV mother and daughter I’d pictured, but close enough.
Pulling back she laid a hand on my cheek and smiled. “I’m just going to sit here awhile,” she said, shading her eyes from the spring sunshine, which we took as our cue to leave.
As we left the maze behind us, Kai reached out to me. Hand in hand we walked back to the lodge, and took a pitcher of iced tea to the deck. Kai’s mom and dad were sleeping off their jetlag in one of the suites upstairs, and I was eager to show them around once they’d napped. They were a lovely couple; I’d spent two weeks last winter with them when we made a flying visit to Sydney, Australia. They’d promised us then that they’d come and visit Cedarwood, and here they were. I was proud of Kai – he was their boy again, and it didn’t matter that they were bound only by love, not blood. They were eager to see what Kai did, and where he lived, but I was more nervous about the secret we’d kept from them.
It was getting harder to keep it secret, too, as each day went on and the weather grew warmer. Tonight, we’d surprise them all. Mom and Aunt Bessie were staying for dinner. They’d assembled the world’s biggest donut tower to wow Kai’s parents. Aunt Bessie was leaving
