was nice to be spending Christmas with family this year. Of course, last year – spending it with Amory in a Chinese restaurant in Brooklyn – had been amazing in its own right, but I sensed things were changing for all of us. Family should have come first, and I vowed it would from now on.
A car crunched on the icy driveway, interrupting our rendition of ‘Last Christmas’, with Kai pretending to be awed by our singing but probably wanting to cover his poor ears from the abuse he was suffering. None of us could sing, not a note, but still, we enjoyed caroling, so what did it matter if it sounded like nails on a chalkboard? I leaped up to see who had arrived. Mom. She’d made it.
I knew today would be difficult for her, but I remembered the advice I’d given to Kai. I needed to start dealing with things head-on too. So I went outside to greet her. As I got closer she started, and then gave me a tight-lipped smile.
I opened the driver’s door. “Hi, Mom! Merry Christmas,” I said brightly.
Her eyes widened at my exuberance. “I was… just organizing my thoughts,” she said as she pulled her handbag into her lap.
“OK, well, great! Let’s go in and get out of this cold.” She didn’t move, so I said as soothingly as possible, “There’s only Kai and Aunt Bessie here so far.”
She flashed me a small smile and undid her seatbelt.
I reached out and took her hand and led her inside, chatting away about this and that to put her at ease. I sensed she was trying hard to appear relaxed, but although her smile was stiff it was still a smile, and she wasn’t so folded in on herself. She’d made an effort to dress up, and wore a slick of lip gloss and some blusher. I debated whether to mention how pretty she looked, or if noting it would make her feel self-conscious. In the end, I just gave her hand a squeeze, and hoped she could read it in my face how happy I was she was here.
“Merry Christmas!” Aunt Bessie said, kissing Mom’s cheek, and giving her the once-over. “Don’t you look nice, Annabelle! That color suits you.” She motioned to Mom’s teal-colored shirt.
Mom tucked a tendril of hair back and smiled her thanks.
“Help me get these vegetables chopped, would you? I didn’t dare ask Clio in case she lopped a finger off or some other disaster. She’s quite hopeless in the culinary arts.”
“Hey!” I protested half-heartedly, knowing Aunt Bessie knew how to put Mom at ease without it being obvious. Mom took an apron from the hook and put it over her head, her demeanor changing now she had a job to do.
“Mom, this is Kai, Kai my mom, Annabelle.”
Kai gave her a wide smile, and shook her hand. “Pleased to meet you, Mrs Winters.”
With a tentative smile, she said, “Likewise, Kai. I’ve heard a lot about you, and it’s all good.”
He laughed. “That’s a relief.” Mom’s charming side surprised me; it boded well for the day. Maybe she’d always wanted to be around people but just didn’t know how to after hiding away for so long.
Mom and Aunt Bessie pottered around the kitchen, continuing to prep for lunch. They refused our offers of further help, and ushered us into the living room. “Go watch a Christmas movie, relax, unwind, you’re my guests,” admonished Aunt Bessie as she handed us two fruit mince donuts – to keep us going!
In Aunt Bessie’s living room we went through her alphabetized Christmas movie selection and decided on Love Actually and I pressed play, before sitting next to Kai on the lumpy red sofa. We sort of fell into each other as the cushion sagged beneath us, and we brushed hands as we tried to scramble back into a sitting position. I sent a thank you to the universe that Aunt Bessie hoarded her old things and refused to update her furniture.
When Hugh Grant’s character danced around in 10 Downing Street, we laughed when he was busted by a steely-faced aide. It had to be a sign – a man who liked a rom-com had to be of the finest order, right? Emma Thompson’s Joni Mitchell scene played, and I felt her sadness as surely as if it was my own. Surreptitiously I wiped a stray tear, but Kai caught me.
“He’s a bit of a bastard for doing that.”
I bit down on my lip, and let out a half-sob, half-laugh. “I love her, and even though it’s fictional I still can’t quite help thinking it’s real and he’s such a fool for hurting her. And for what? A passing flirtation with scarlet lips. It’s just the worst!”
“I totally agree.” He leaned over and I caught my breath as he wiped a lone tear from my cheek. “It’s like he can’t see what’s right in front of him, and he is utterly stupid for that.” He gazed at me so fervently, I thought for a second he meant me.
The air in the room hummed around us as my mind raced. Was there hidden meaning, or was I just hoping so? I’d never wanted to kiss anyone as much as I did at that moment. The man enjoyed Love Actually, for God’s sake! Didn’t that make him great? Forget heartbreak, forget about the future, all I cared about was this minute right here, so I closed my eyes and kissed him, all at once dizzy with the touch of his lips against mine. He brushed his fingertips against my cheek, and kissed me back softly. And I thought if I never felt like that again, life would be so dull. So empty.
With my heart racing, I pulled away slightly, hoping he wouldn’t see the quake in my hands. If I ever got naked with him, I was sure I’d pass out with the wooziness of it all. Wouldn’t that be the most embarrassing thing? Stop picturing him naked, Clio! It wasn’t like I was a prude, or hadn’t had relationships before, but with Kai, even the simplest of touches felt charged, like Cupid was making sure I knew this guy was the one. And suddenly I decided to throw caution to the wind. One week with Kai was better than none, and maybe the memory of his kisses would last a lifetime…
“Clio…” he said softly and pulled me in for another kiss.
The crunch of tires had us leaping apart. Cruz and Amory had arrived, and that put paid to any more private time.
“I… ah… I really love that movie, thanks for watching it with me.” Lame, can anyone say lame!
He laughed as I scrambled out of the sofa. “Any time, Clio.”
For someone who spent their whole life around love I was completely useless at it myself. Kai probably thought I was unhinged, or something.
I raced over to open the door for Cruz and Amory, who were stomping snow from their boots.
“Come in,” I said, a little breathless still but trying to disguise it with festive cheer. Amory narrowed her eyes as if she knew something was up. I let out a slightly manic laugh and smoothed my hair down.
Suddenly Cruz clicked his fingers and tutted. “Dang it, I left the wine at the lodge. I’ll be right back,” he said as he turned to go straight back out into the snow.
“We have a ton of wine, don’t worry,” I called, but he was already at the car holding the keys up.
“I won’t be long, promise.”
“Drive safe on those roads,” Amory called, but he’d
